well...I never did meet with my mom in law last thursday, she canceled out. She was one of my best friends and now she clearly doesn't want anything to do with me. So not only have I lost my husband but also one of my best freinds. I do not have many freinds to begin with so this is very hard for me to deal with.<P>this friday is my 10th wedding anniversary. I can't help remembering that a couple of years ago we had decided to renew our vows on our 10 anniversary, guess that's not gonna happen eh. I am a very sensitive person and holidays, anniversaries and birthdays are very important to me, and for me to celebrate for others. It is one of the hardest things for me to do, to not go get a card to send to him. <BR>Please pray that I have peace and that God blesses me on this especially hard day to come. I just don't know how I'm gonna make it through it.<P>finnally....my husband is wanting to take the boys to his apartment this weekend, either sat or sun, not both.For me this is especially difficult and have struggled greatly with this issue, I feel that by letting them go i am telling my hubby that i am ok with his moving out. Well...I am not ok with it, but after much prayer I have decided if this is really what he wants to do i will let him but with a few ground rules. letting him know of my concern of tacit approval of his decision to move out, that clearly I do not agree. But you know the boys need their dad and I want their dad to have input in their lives, so I am allowing them to visit his apartment BUT, David is not to<BR>have any other women (other than family members) present in the apartment or at any places he takes the boys at any time. Pray with me that my children will be covered in the blood of christ and that He will protect them while in their fathers care against the things that the enemy has him involved in.<P><P>------------------<BR>Irene

Dear Irene:<P>I will pray that you find the inner strength and peace the day of your anniversary.<BR> I am very sensitive to those days too, when I remember my 5th anniversary two months ago, everything seemed ok but now we are separated..<BR>Try to arrange several things to do on Friday and not to think on the date or allow yourself to be sad. I know it is difficult I am also sttruggling everyday.<BR>Put all the pain and suffering in His hands, He is the one who can carry them and we still insist about doing it ourselves..<BR>Peace and hope to your heart..<P>Lenchen