This is my first time posting so thanks in advance for your patience.. I would first like to say how I praise God for women like yourselves who are so caring and God-fearing. Here I see a prayer-packed forum, so much intercessory prayer going on that heavens gates are being bombarded. God bless all of you!..well, where do I start? I'm 24years old and this is my 2nd marriage..my question is this..Is it God's will for me to make my current marriage work which is the result of an affair or is He angry for me even marrying this man? There are so many details that I have to leave out otherwise I would be typing forever.. My ex husband is still hoping for a reconcilation. I have to say that my ex H and I were best friends before we married but I have never really been physically attracted to him. I don't think I was ever "in love" with him and i believe I married him becuz I knew he was a good, gentle, kind man and I was scared to lose him. I still don't know how I even let our marriage end but it did.. I'm am very much "in love" with my new husband and have been for the past 2 years now, but i find myself wishing he had the good qualities of my ex husband. What I can say is that my now husband has a deep desire to serve the Lord, although sometimes that doesn't show in his actions for ex: the other day we had this major fight and started to pack my stuff and leave and he just laid in bed and said if i wanted to go, to go. I felt like he didn't care anything for me becuz he didnt want to talk about it just said to go if that if what i wanted, well of course that is not waht i wanted i wanted to talk but he said he didnt want to talk he was trying to get some sleep. and at that point i thought what a major mistake i made marrying this man and I longed to talk to my ex-husband who when we were married, couldnt even sleep or eat or work if things werent right between us...well anyways I didnt leave, i wasnt going to let the devil get teh satisfaction but I didnt call my ex husband, he basically said that I needed to stop comparing and just accept whoever i was with for the way that they were.. He said he still loved me and would wait for me forever, he cried and asked me to come "home" to him.. he knows i'm with the man that i cheated on him with what he doesnt know is that we are now married (this would kill him) well needless to say I felt bad about calling becuz I really do love my now H and i want so bad for us to work this out but there have been so many lies and we are just now starting to recover from the sins of an affair. At the time we started the affair we werent right with God and now we both desire to do his will, we have asked for forgiveness and are trying to make this right by getting married and becoming active in a church, but the devil likes to remind us of all the pain we have caused other people. I'm confused, I really want to cease all communication( even though it is strictly on a friendship level on my part) with my ex husband but the guilt of what I did to him still haunts me. I just ask that you all pray my strength and thanks again for your prayers.. May God Bless and Keep you all and peace and love in your homes ..Remember, our true reward is in heaven and I've made up my mind that I'm going to see my Jesus!

Brency,<BR> I don't know your full situation only what you shared with us but I will say that I am 100% sure that you know who it is you are supposed to be with. Your true husband is that man that is worth MORE than anything in the world to you. The man that you can't help but to thank God every single day for "giving" him to you. We're going through a marriage series at my church and there is one thing that my Pastor has pointed out to me over and over again and it is this "No where in the Bible does God command us to be happy he only commands us to be faithful" The first time he said that I thought to myself "that really stinks" but he went on to point out that the happiness will soon follow. <P>Lord I pray for Brency for an answer from you to the confusion and pain she is feeling, because of that confusion. I ask that you give her an internal knowlege of your truth for her life. Lord I believe that you have a plan and a desire for everyone of us and I ask that you help your daughter Brency determine what that path for her life is. Give her Lord the patience and the diligence to seek the truth from you.<P>Brency when I read you're post I sensed that you feel a lot of guilt concerning you're ex H and you're current situation. What you have to do is dig into the Word of God until you find out whether that guilt is coming from the Holy Spirit within you or from Satan. You see guilt comes from both places the HS gives us guilt as a gift to convict us that we are living a situation that is not pleasing to God and Satan tempts us with guilt once we have already been forgiven and there is nothing left in God's eyes to be feeling guilty of. <P>Nobody hear can tell you who is making you feel guilty. That has to be between you and God.<P>Bless you and I hope you find the answers you are looking for

Thanks, IClaimRom 15:13, for your response and for your prayers..On the way to work this morning I was asking for God to please speak to me thru the women on this forum, and I realize that God is at work in my life even if I don't completely understand. I've made some poor decisions in my life and I used to tell myself if I could turn back the hands of time, I would have never cheated on my first husband, even if things weren't all the great between us..After reading the Bible, it clearly states that God does not promise that he will give us everything we "want", but it does say "he will supply all my needs,"..maybe that means sometimes my desires will go unfulfilled, but as long as my desires are not in conflict with His desires, he does promise that he will give us the desires of our hearts. Ultimately I want Him to be glorified in my life even at the expense of my own immediate gratifications going unfulfilled..I want one day to be able to stand before Him unashamed, I want so much to be a good wife and i have to trust that becuz i want to do God's will that he will protect me from the wrong that my husband may do towards me..Please don't misunderstand me, my husband and I went thru serious trials during the affair, there were lots of lies told and so many people warned and advised me to just end the relationship with him even after my divorce from my ex husband was finalized, we tried to break it off and were separated for 5 months, then one day he called and said he realized he wanted to be with me, he is 37years old and never been married and I guess he was just scared of what he was feeling and the committment that normally goes along with that, and for the most part he has been wonderful during our marriage, there are just sometimes that he can be so selfish and arrogant about things, what I have to give him credit for is since we've been going to church he's really been soaking up the Word with such hunger and at times I can see the Lord working thru him, I guess i just need to be patient...and of course the guilt of waht i did to my first husband bothers me a great deal, there really was no reason for all of this, at teh time i guess i waas just lonely and homesick (we just moved 8 hours from my family) and i was new to a big city with no friends, this was my ex h home town so he was very comfortable and i guess i felt like he wasn't being sensitive, becuz he was always out with his friends, but overall he was an excellent husband, however, he did not have a relationship with God..well taht is all said and done with, I just hope I'm in God's will now ..sorry if this is all rushed, when thoughts start to flow i just type, hope you are being blessed and my prayers are with you also...I'd also like to say how i do sympathize with all of you, i read your problems and i should feel so lucky to be in the relationship i am in, my husband hasn't left me and he isn't cheating and yet i'm still complaining becuz he is not sensitive or affectionate, sorry for being a baby..God bless you all

brency,<P>I think too that you know who you should be with. I also know that being best friends with your husband is far more rewarding than any sexual lust for another man. <P>Your first husband will always be your covenant husband and you can marry a hundred times but with any other man but your 1st covenant husband it will continue to be adultry.<P>We have a God that forgives but He also says go and sin no more!<P>I am a stander for my own husband. We have been separated for 1 1/2 years and are beginning divorce mediation (not my choice). He has been with the ow for 6 years in a long distance relationship and he said today that he is going to delay moving her here and that they will delay moving in together just yet. Praise God, He is working still! Also it boggles my mind as my h sits in mediation there and says that this is costing him so much and he can't live on what is left over from what he gives me and his two daughters, that his sin for the ow still holds on to him. I too am willing to wait until the Lord brings Him back first to Himself and then to his family.<P>I also have realized that it is all in God's hands and there is nothing I can do but pray and wait and work on my relationship with my Lord. God is whispering to me through this to come closer to Him and to say nothing and wait on Him. But He is screaming at my husband to come closer to Him and to give up His sin...He will continue to turn up the heat and i pray that my h will turn toward the Lord again and accept His mercy, grace and forgiveness and most of all His love for Him. Nothing my h seeks now will ever satisfy like obedience to and loving Jesus. He is the only real authentic satiating power for all we crave. He is the real thing!<P>I pray that you will be able to return to your Lord, and He will break through to you with His love. I know that you say that you are closer to the Lord, but read Ephesians 4:17-32 and then 1 John 1:5-10. "If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth." <P>I write these things not to judge or condemn but to show you how great God's love is for you. He loves you. There is no doubt in my mind and heart that leaving your present husband to go back to the husband of your youth will be sooo hard. Too hard to do on your own, in fact. But with God you can do it and without God it will be impossible. But with God nothing is impossible and I know that that is the hope that your covenant husband is clinging to. Knowing that the Lord is sovereign. <P>Brency, since we know that this is God's will for you then we can be confident that He will accomplish this for you: changing your mind and giving you the desire to return to Him. After all it may be your 1st husband you feel you have hurt, but more so it is your Lord. But unlike man He is faithful to forgive when we cry out to Him and ask Him to work in us His will. <P>If He is asking this of you, you can be confident that He will return to you the feelings of love and passion you want with your first husband, and if you stay with your present husband he will turn those passions into drudgery or worse you may become enslaved to them and they will be hollow and unsatisfying. <P>Brency you have taken a real step toward God by asking for help, but turn toward your real help, Jesus and run to Him. The Father is waiting and watching for you in the middle of the road. He stands ready to robe you with His finest and put a ring on your finger and to kill the fatted calf in your behalf. He loves you that much that His only desire is to wrap His arms around you and to have a celebration in honor of your homecoming.<P>Lord, I praise You that you are working in brency's heart to come home to you. Let her look up and realize that she does not have to eat pods in the pig pen but that You are waiting to welcome her home, and to prepare the way to falling in love with the man You chose for her, her covenant husband. Lord I pray that you will make her paths straight and that she will reach for your sure light and love. Lord work in her present marriage that her noncovenant husband will release her and encourage her to go home to her real husband. Lord, we praise You for Your great love and faithfulness to us. We praise You that You care that much for us. A love that is beyond our understanding but one that quenches our thirst completely. Let her come and drink of your water at the well, the water that will satisfy her deeply. Lord after she has truely returned to You, restore her love and passion for her husband and work in them Your will of restoration. Thank You, Jesus for always being there and meeting us where we are, but not allowing us to stay in our sinful conditions. All glory to You./<P>Brency you are in my prayers. God bless

HW..I have read some of your posts and I'm thankful you responded, You consistently add wisdom and encouragement and although it seems as if you "have it all together" Iknow you have your battles as well. Sometimes I doubt whether God is really listening to my cries for help, when the answers aren't always evident, but somehow I feel, God REALLY listens to you..(such a prayer warrior, you are!) How do you do it? ..It has to be God. It would have to be God working thru me to allow me to stay or continue to hope in a marriage that didn't seem like it was headed for a happy ending, especially with the ow moving in. My heart goes out to you and prayers are with you and your children during this difficult time...All the problems posted here by the different women who are hurting have me yearning to "go home" with my Lord...The other day it thunderstormed and I get really scared about thunder, thinking the rapture is about to take place and I will be left behind.. I was in bed and I was praying Please God don't let me be wrong wanting to stay committed to my current marriage,, Let this be your will..Why? i thought that, i don't know...I'm married, not living in sin with just a boyfriend... Does a covenant with God mean being married by an ordained minister only? or does it include Justice of the peace as well? <BR>Please see my post in (prayer requests, under emotionally drained) it will give you an update of what has taken place the last couple of days in my life<BR>I thank God for you praying women on this forum, He will restore us and our relationships with our loved ones in HIS TIME..and even if the Lord never answers another prayer of mine in my life, or if he decides to take away everything in my life that I think I have to have and can't live without, I'll still trust Him... All I need is Him<P>part of me wants to give up on my current marriage and the friendship I have with my ex..and just be left alone so I can concentrate on the will of God..maybe that is selfish...Please pray my strength