Well, just to update those of you who were kind enough to offer your prayers with mine when I posted a week or so ago...<P>I did speak to H when he called from work that night. I basically told him that I had found the e-mail and knew all about the service and such and that i was so hurt....that I loved him and wanted our marriage to work but that I didn't know how much wounding I could handle. I also let him know that my concern was as much for my daughter as for myself. I reminded him that children tend to repeat the patterns of their childhood (as he and I tend to do...both from broken dysfunctional families) I told him that although I love him tremendously, I will not let my daughter grow up in a house where the husband is allowed to treat the wife with such disrespect...because I know that if she sees me tolerate such behavior in the name of "love" she will grow up to tolerate cheating lying boyfriends and husbands because she "loves" them. I asked him if he would want her to be treated the way he is treating me. he said no. I asked him if he truly loves me (yes) and if he wanted us to be a family(yes) then I asked why does he continue to threaten our marriage with games (he swears to me that it is all verbal junk, nothing that he has acted on...fantasy stuff ) he said he didn't know why he did it.<P>The next morning I asked him again if he had acted on any of these e-mail(no) and if he truly planned to be my husband and the father of our 2 babies (blank stare as he processed the news about the new pregnancy He never got upset or defensive, told me he was here for us always, loves us all...though in shock about the new baby.<P>Since that day, I pray daily for God to give him the strength to resist the temptation to do what he knows is harmful. So far, he is strong. he has been loving and helpful and encouraging as i try to start a new at-home business. I have seen no evidence of any playing around on the net or otherwise. Please continue to pray for us. We are about to go through some stressful times as pregnancy begins to wear my emotions and energy thin, and with my starting a new venture while still having to ( for the time being) to return to teaching at least for this school year. $$$ will be tight with 2 little ones and the responsibility can be overwhelming. I am sure that is part of what drove him away last time.....missing the freedom and spontenaity and thin wife of pre-fertility treatments and babies. God has brought us so far and through so many obstacles, I know he will again. And again, I thank God for putting me in contact with you wonderful prayer warriors. i felt so calm after I posted here, I just truly feel like God is listening.<P>Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you....especially hw and alcoholic's wife. I was saddened to know that you both were still having such problems, but I was also encouraged because you two were there for me lending support everytime my faith faltered last year. <P>God bless<BR>Kim