hw,<BR>I read a post you had written to blency and wanted to ask a question- <BR>I am wondering why you would give the ultimatum to your spouse re: no relations until.....<BR>Aren't you still(and for always) one flesh with him?<BR>The fact that your husband still desires you is a blessing.<BR>There are many that would give their right arm to hear that their husbands still wanted to be intimate.<P>Doesn't the Word say that our bodies are not our own, that they belong to our husbands?<P>I don't think it "real" the "sex" he is having with ow.<BR>You are his wife, and God will be in the middle.<BR>Who is in the middle when they are together?Certainly not our Lord.<BR>Do you see what I mean?<P>I believe that your husband showing interest in being intimate with you is a good(God)sign!<P>Miracles Happen!<BR>

Miracles Happen,<P>I think that when we are married, that we are joined to one another spiritually and that gives us a "spiritual authority" to speak against unholy relationships, that isn't in-line with a marriage. <P>Just wanted to say Hi and welcome to the Bible Study Forum.<P><BR>TnT<p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited July 13, 2001).]

I understand exactly what you are saying. A year ago I did just that and then the ow played games and he ended it with us and continued a relationship with her. <BR>In Oct, after a hard discussion he again looked at me as if he wanted to have sex, but the timing was wrong then. A week later when talking with him and he said he wanted a divorce etc... I said to him yes, but last week you wanted me. He said "I want a prostitute occassionally too." That hurt so deeply and was so disrespectful I can't even tell you how much it hurt.<P>I want my marriage restored. I want our sex to have emotional depth as well as physical meaning. My husband uses sex like a drug at present. When he feels bad it momentarily takes away all emotional pain and then he doesn't have to deal with that pain.<P>I will not be an occassional prostitute. I have more value than that and I certainly think God values me more than that.<P>Sex alone is not enough.<P>Believe me I would love to have made love to my husband. I miss him terribly and I sure miss sex. But I just didn't want to be used since he is still very much involved with the ow, who is in town again this week, and is talking about moving in with her.<P>To add to that. When he called later that week to ask me to change our divorce mediation meeting, I said so we are going through with it. His reply was yes. I asked him about last weekend and he said that he was "forcing himself to think about working it out with me just so he could spend more time around his daughter." He has repeatedly said this and that it would be the only reason he would want to get back together.<P>God has clearly told me to be quiet, don't pursue him and wait on Him. So I know that God has to work in my h first before he can bring us back together. I believe when that time comes my h will have ended it with the ow, returned to God (Jesus) and will approach me about wanting a relationship again. Until that time i (painfully at times) wait on God to do His work.<P><p>[This message has been edited by hw (edited July 17, 2001).]

I agree with you hw. I miss my WH terribly - emotionally and physically, and I want my marriage to be restored completely. I keep asking myself what if he came home, committed to the marriage and couseling, begged my forgiveness, and then wanted to consummate the reconciliation?? I want to so badly. I miss him soooo much, and I want to fill that need for HIM, it's a big need for him - and God GAVE us the gift of sex to be fulfilled in a committed marriage. BUT I'm scared to death of STD's. AND I cannot share him physically with another woman. Even if he wrote a no-contact letter and I was convinced that he ended his A. I want him to get tested for STD's first before I can have sex with him. <P>My Christian marriage counselor told me not to have sex with him. (My WH moved out and is still seeing the OW). I did not ask why, because I agreed with him. The bible also says that divorce is OK in the case of Adultery (not commanded, but allowable). We all know that people make mistakes, and we know here on MB that marriages can be restored, and if we are listening to God, we are all here because we want to forgive our WS's and restore our marriages - and not divorce. But, if the Bible says that divorce is allowable in Adultery, then to me that means that it is OK to withhold sex until the marriage is restored emotionally.<P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Hw You are one strong woman. I am so encouraged that even through this challenge, you still clearly hear the Holy Spirit, basically instructing you to cast the care of your marriage on Him. You and yours are in my prayers. Thanks for being my example.

ymon- Thanks for your encouragement. God is my strength. I am realizing more and more how much I need my Lord and how little i can do myself. I fail miserably at worshiping Him as He deserves and know that my h is still very much a stronghold. <BR>There are so many women on this forum that have been a support thgough the last couple of yers. Although i have never met them personally, I do call them very much friends and sisters in Christ. There are so many wise women that have supported this prayer group. I think as of late we have many of us had other duties to attend to, but it is great to see them on line from time to time.<P>I have seen your posts recently but I really don't know your story. You too seem to have string faith and a gift of envcouragement. Thanks for sharing.<P>TnT, How are you? <P>Faith1, I too worry about STD's a little. I know in hindsight that my h has stepped out on me more than once and with more than one woman (didn't know at the times before this one though). I am thankful that I have never gotten anything. There was a time when I did get a couple of urinary tract infections and at least one of those times I know now that he was seeing one woman when he traveled. When I got it again several years later it is possible that he had seen her again because he was traveling then. <P>It is frustrating to think I never guessed but my h did his messing around when he traveled and was always available for me to talk to and he always called us. He never did it locally except during grad school. I saw him so much at that time (we ate three meals together, took breaks throughout the day together) it is hard to believe but it did occur. Almost all of his have been around times of transition or challenging times for him personally. I understand so much more about him now.<P>Thanks for asking. If there is anything specific that I can pray for, for you leave me a post. In fact it has been a while since we prayed for each other and I think I will start a thread just to see where everyone is. Leave a post on that thread.<P>hw

I'd worry about STD's A LOT!<P>One encounter and it would no sexual contact for 6 months and STD blood tests done now and after six months since the last encounter.<P>Kissing okay after passing the first blood tests, but condoms don't protect against herpes and certain other viruses.<P>One flesh, my foot. Not after someone has added filth to the cookpot.