It is lovely summertime and it has been a while since we all checked in. In know so many of us are job hunting and adjusting to life without our h's participation. Some have reunited and are seeing growth in their relationships with their h's and Lizzie reports that her h is seeking the Lord again (Yeah, Praise the Lord!) So leave a post and let us catch up with one another and leave a prayer request and we can pray for one another. New comers please join us. Tell us about yourself and what your prayer needs are.<P>My h (jack) and I are in divorce mediation. Which means we meet with a laywer/therapist and together hammer out a separation areement. After that is finished and filed then we wait a year. At that time one of us will have to file (him) and then it will be another three months at least and the divorce is final. NY is a cause state. Since my h does not have cause against me ( I do though) but I refuse to file because I do not believe in divorce or that our situation can not be worked out if he would try.<P>So that is where we are. Several sessions turned into therapy and again there was a brief hope that jack would choose to work on us, but I guess that is not to be for now. <P>I still trust God is working, but I know that He must work in jack first before jack can see his way to believing that we have a chance.<P>Currently I am looking for a job [just completed my MSW (masters of social work) and passed my CSW exam]. I also have to move, though have decided to move locally. The place I currently have is too expensive and really is more room than we need.<P>I am really seeking God and He is pulling out deep roots of strongholds from me. It is painful but good. I desire to have deep worship in my heart, soul and mind for God alone but fall short everyday. Distractions so easily take my attention. So I could use prayer that God really draw me loser to HIm. To draw me to desire Him more than anything or anybody else. I want Him to make His desires my desires. I want to seek Him for Him alone, not for waht he can or could do for me. I want to keep my eyes on Him. <P>As I said I fail at this everyday, but it is my deep and sincere desire and I know God will lead me there.<P>I also pray that God can break through my h's hard heart and restore him to a saving relationship with Jesus as his Lord and Savior.<P>I pray that the ow will also come to know Christ. I pray that her brother (who recently graduated from seminary) has a personal relationship with Christ and is praying for his sister and wondering what the real story is. I pray he will come to know that jack's wife is a believing christian and will talk with his sister about this.<P>I pray that God will give jack no peace in his relationship with the ow. That He will continue to cause jack to doubt that he is making the right choice because of his daughter and the finances. That in time jack will remember the love for his wife. I pray that God increases the strife between jack and the ow.<P>I also pray that jack will stay living where he is ( my pastor lives in the same building below him)and provide opportunities for jack and my pastor to talk. I pray that jack will be lead to open his Bible and seek his Lord again.<P>Nothing is impossible with God!<P>Thanks for the prayers. I hope all are seeking God with all their hearts and growing in their relationships with Jesus.<P>hi to all my friends!<P>hw

Truly nothing is impossible with God as my focus.<P>I have been recovering from emotional trials; bad dreams, suppressed emotions, etc. I am building my faith that things will and are getting better. I need prayer that I see clearly these hopes and this future God has for me. At times I just feel like no one looks out for me at all. Other days, I am really pleased, but I just need some clarity in my spirit. And my H has been there for me in prayer, and our recovery is going well. I will check back tomorrow, God willing.

Thanks for asking hw. I think about you often. Congratulations on your MSW and passing the certification exam! I know you are hopeful that your marriage can be restored, even at this late stage of divorce proceedings. <P>I guess I've reached a point where I've let go of wanting something I don't have. Perhaps it's the acceptance phase of grieving over my marriage. My H has been nicer to me since I returned from a month of separation. The problem with my separation was an artificial timeframe. I was not ready to return. The only reason I was able to leave at all was the opportunity to housesit. Financial considerations make the support of two households impossible at this time, and last year and the year before that. Nevertheless, I have made a decision. I want to do a plan b. <P>My H's participation in this marriage is perfunctory at best, and perhaps so is mine. I am in a state of withdrawal. I have tried many times to venture into conflict in the past. Things get really ugly. I kept thinking that I could improve my communication techniques to the point where we could have a civilized discussion about finances, intimacy, our marriage. With just a handful of exceptions, I usually end up in a verbal shredding machine. I've chosen to protect myself from that and things have been realllll quiet around here lately. Emotional abuse is the way my H treats me. The depths of his indifference toward me seems to be bottomless. When we enter conflict, verbal abuse is added to the mix. <P>So, I've made my decision. I want a Plan b. I am entirely dependent on God to provide the means for it to happen. Or, something even better would be nice too, like a loving, nurturing, caring, sensitive, kind hearted, affectionate H. sigh There I go again, wishing for something I don't have. I hope I'm on the right track ladies. More details of my story are in the 'broken wedding vows' thread. I appreciate the prayers and support I find here. <BR>

Things are still improving in the marriage. H is now being taught the importance of asking for favors in a nice way. The habit is to rant and rage for big favors. Not little things that would normally be expected of a spouse, but exceptional requests. I had to stand up to several of these abusive Selfish Demands lately and he seems to be getting the idea that "cooperation" just might be a two-way street after all. This sounds desperately awful, I know, but overall things are far better than they have ever been before. Constant growth.<P>We are in a big financial bind right now. H bit off a bit more than we should probably be chewing so I am under the gun to double my income immediately. Lovely.<P>Prayers of thanksgiving are appropriate, and a prayer for wisdom.<P>I really hope and pray that the Holy Spirit or some Godly man can come into his life and make a positive impact on him. He desperately needs Jesus and doesn't know it. <P>On my way to work yesterday I had a vision that this is part of what our daughter's life is for. That she will be a vehicle for saving many people in his family. I pray that it may be so.

Hi HW,<P>Sorry you marriage is not going the way you would like. I am praying that your H's heart will be softened and know God.<P>ymon - I am praying that you continue down your path of self discovery and peace.<P>Lonesome - I too pray that you find peace.<P><BR>Kerenna - I pray for your marriage and financial situation. I know how it feels to be financially burdoned. It can be very challenging as well as deflating of our very being to strugle so. <P><BR>

We seem to have quite an assortment of challenges. Paha, I hope you have some promising job prospects by now. hw, I pray that your h's heart has softened. ymon, I've enjoyed the posts you've made on my broken vows thread. If there's a thread that describes your situation, I'd like to read it so I can know you better. Karenna, I think of you often and remember how many people you helped here while you were experiencing a difficult pregnancy and the eventual loss of sweet baby Charles. You have such inner strength and patience. Yet I can't help but wonder how your H biting off more than he can chew translates into you providing the remedy by doubling your income? Sounds like a boundary challenge for sure. <P>I pray for protective hedges around each and every one of us.

Pah- I appreciate your prayers. I had not seen anyone post on this thread much, I was wondering had anyone used it...<BR>Heart-Glad to hear from you. When you search for my posts, search the General Questions, In recovery, and Just Found Out forums. I have really been helped by you all. I also posted on the Why Women Leave Men forum...<P>Now for my update; I had made some changes in my thoughts and things I say, and I am happy to report the huge improvement in my attitude and how others relate to me. I have gotten some great feedback, and support from those who are around me. I definitely stay away from negativity. I am thinking much more positively and I feel much better. My job gave me a check to relieve some financial pressure. I received some extra pay today from my side employment after a week of delay. I made it to church service, which was something that was a problem for me between rest and transportation. ( I am further along in my pregnancy.) And my H finally began to work yesterday. God is still moving, and I wanted you all to know it. Be well. Thank you...LOL

Just got back from vacation. Good to see some of you posting. I try to pray for everyone even if I don't on line any more.<P>Lord,<P>I lift these women up to you this day and we praise you fro your faithfulness. Lord there is none like you. Thank you for being the God that you are. A God that loves His children so much that He never leaves them. <P>Lord I lift up ymon. We thank you for their reconciliation and their continued healing. Lord mend and weave this couple together in You. Lord we also praise you for the extra money that they have received that will alleviate some financial strains. Lord Jesus, watch over the growth of this child within her. Put Your heart into this child and may this child bless many during it's life time. We praise You for the change in ymon's attitude. Thank you for protecting her from the evil one. Lord, be near to them and send Your blessings upon them this day. <P>Lord, for lonesome, I praise You that You are working in her heart. I pray that You will guide her in her attempt at plan B. I praise you for her prayers and faithfulness to You. She has reached out and encouraged many of us through the year. Lord, work in her h a desire to come into full relationship with Jesus. Lord, then fill him with desire to truly seek a relationship with his wife. Lord let his participation be more than perfunctionary. Lord bring blessings upon lonesome this day.<P>Lord, Thank you for Karenna. We praise You that she has the courage to stand up to her h drawing appropriate boundaries with her h. Lord bring financial blessings upon K and her h. Lord we praise You for their reconciliation and the courage she has demonstrated to all of us throughout the last year. Lord heal their many wounds and hurts. Continue to knit them together in You.<P>Lord I lift up paha up to you. We thank you for her and her prayers for us all. Lord, touch her heart and guide her in Your ways and will for her. Show her that You are waking right behind her saying "This is the way, walk in it." Lord heal her wounds and bring reconciliation into her life. Lord, bring blessings to her this day.<P><BR>Lord, for all the women that have frequented this forum and for those to come. Lord, put in their hearts an increased desire to seek You more and more each day. Lord, bring all those prodigal husbands home to You. Lord they can not even ask for help. Lord, so we stand in the gap for our h's and ask this day that you give them life in Jesus Christ. Let there be no peace in any adulterous relationships that these hs' are in. Let the other women be exposed and confounded. Lord, let the hs them run back to the wives of their youth. Lord heal them.<P>Lord, this is the day that You have made. Let us each rejoice and be glad in it. Let us turn our hearts toward You and Your Son. Let Your Spirit speak to our hearts. Lord, let our own hearts not be hard. Let us know what it is like to truly have a intimate relationship with You.<P>Lord, You are the only one who can heal these marriages and the husbands and wives. Lord let no marriage that You have joined together in covenant be put asunder by anyone. Lord let each of us be reconciled in You and put Your protective hedge around each marriage. Lord may Your will be done. In Jesus name, Amen.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hw:<BR><B>Just got back from vacation. Good to see some of you posting. I try to pray for everyone even if I don't on line any more.<P>Lord,<P>I lift these women up to you this day and we praise you fro your faithfulness. Lord there is none like you. Thank you for being the God that you are. A God that loves His children so much that He never leaves them. <P>Lord I lift up ymon. We thank you for their reconciliation and their continued healing. Lord mend and weave this couple together in You. Lord we also praise you for the extra money that they have received that will alleviate some financial strains. Lord Jesus, watch over the growth of this child within her. Put Your heart into this child and may this child bless many during it's life time. We praise You for the change in ymon's attitude. Thank you for protecting her from the evil one. Lord, be near to them and send Your blessings upon them this day. <P>Lord, for lonesome, I praise You that You are working in her heart. I pray that You will guide her in her attempt at plan B. I praise you for her prayers and faithfulness to You. She has reached out and encouraged many of us through the year. Lord, work in her h a desire to come into full relationship with Jesus. Lord, then fill him with desire to truly seek a relationship with his wife. Lord let his participation be more than perfunctionary. Lord bring blessings upon lonesome this day.<P>Lord, Thank you for Karenna. We praise You that she has the courage to stand up to her h drawing appropriate boundaries with her h. Lord bring financial blessings upon K and her h. Lord we praise You for their reconciliation and the courage she has demonstrated to all of us throughout the last year. Lord heal their many wounds and hurts. Continue to knit them together in You.<P>Lord I lift up paha up to you. We thank you for her and her prayers for us all. Lord, touch her heart and guide her in Your ways and will for her. Show her that You are waking right behind her saying "This is the way, walk in it." Lord heal her wounds and bring reconciliation into her life. Lord, bring blessings to her this day.<P><BR>Lord, for all the women that have frequented this forum and for those to come. Lord, put in their hearts an increased desire to seek You more and more each day. Lord, bring all those prodigal husbands home to You. Lord they can not even ask for help. Lord, so we stand in the gap for our h's and ask this day that you give them life in Jesus Christ. Let there be no peace in any adulterous relationships that these hs' are in. Let the other women be exposed and confounded. Lord, let the hs them run back to the wives of their youth. Lord heal them.<P>Lord, this is the day that You have made. Let us each rejoice and be glad in it. Let us turn our hearts toward You and Your Son. Let Your Spirit speak to our hearts. Lord, let our own hearts not be hard. Let us know what it is like to truly have a intimate relationship with You.<P>Lord, You are the only one who can heal these marriages and the husbands and wives. Lord let no marriage that You have joined together in covenant be put asunder by anyone. Lord let each of us be reconciled in You and put Your protective hedge around each marriage. Lord may Your will be done. In Jesus name, Amen. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I have a questions what is praying and fasting and how do you go about praying and fasting.<P>

Good morning BNG<BR>You asked what is fasting. Fasting is considered going without food, and sometimes drink as well, for a certain amount of time to simply focus on intently hearing God more clearly. Praying is just talking to God, whether you are asking Him for something, or just venting to Him. Thanking Him is a form of praise, FYI.<BR>I can also tell you from personal experience and that of some others, that not doing that certain activity or watching that favorite t.v. show is also an effective form of fasting. All I am doing is giving that time to listening to God for His response to what I am praying to Him for. Next time you post check lonesome heart's thread, titled Fasting. There is some great feedback there about the question she had that is similar to yours.<p>[This message has been edited by ymon (edited August 01, 2001).]

Believe,<P>There is a great book titled, "A Hunger for God: Desiring God through Fasting and Prayer," by John Piper.<P> I agree with ymon, but fasting is also about taking the hunger you have for food and satisfying it with God. So it is about spending more time with God, some of that listening, some praying, some reading the Bible and wanting, desiring Him more during that time than anything else. Seeking the Lord with all your heart during that time.<P>I have fasted for a day and this spring for a week. It is an amazing experience. I find that when I am fasting and using the time to spend with God that I am rarely hungry at all. On the week fast I did juice once a day. <P>John Piper says, "Fasting rises up as a way of saying earnestly with our whole body what our hearts feel: A hunger for God....The reason is that hunger for God is spiritual, not physical. And we are less sensitive to spiritual appetites when we are in the bondage of physical forces from the center of our lives. ...<P>I simply mean that most of us run the risk of being overly sensualized simply by having every craving satisfied and rarely pausing in a moment of self-denial to discover if there are alive in us spiritual appetites that could satisfy us at a much deeper level than food, and that are designed for the honor of God. Such is the appetite for the coming of King Jesus."<P>From personal experience those things that are hindering my walk (the distractions) become very pronounced during my fasting. It shows me those areas where I need to let go and give to God. Or it shows me the things that are distracting me from spending the quality time I need to invest in seeking my Lord. During the days after the fast I either experience God's increased blessings, which usually means a greater sense of peace or calm, and sometimes the circumstances become worse and the fast prepared me to deal with them. <P>God has a plan! As ymon said, it is not always wise to abstain from food. Those that have medical reaasons should not. But there are so many other things one can give up and use the time to focus on God! Whatever it is it should be something that is a sacrifice. For the Lord will work through this time when we earnestly seek Him.<P>

Hello ladies and sisters,<P>I continue in my schooling and am VERY overwhelmed by all of it (and for good reason). Currently (today and tomorrow) I basically can be considered to be in 3 FT college programs-the equiv of (acclerated classes and 1 class is considered FT). I work FT and that has been overwhelming as well. I hope it is okay to list my request here (maybe I should have started another thread?)--but I do need your prayers. I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow which is quite involved and I'm very frustrated with it. It's not a normal situation. I'm finishing up a class (hence the 10 page paper due tomorrow) which I didn't understand very well and had never been exposed to the concepts etc. It was very difficult for me. I'm in another math class (and I don't do math well-hence problems with the paper and previous class) and I haven't been able to do that work cause of the paper. I have these evening classes straight from work on Monday and Tuesday evenings for the next 4 weeks. It's the busiest time of year at my job-yearend in an accounting field. I'm just at my ropes end and it doesn't seem possible although I've been applying myself. I've learned a lot (from where I was), but am still so far behind where I think I need to be.<P>Tonight I must get this paper written out--having problems with the structure of it. I'm a good writer, but it's not coming together. <P>So that's update on my life with work and school. Relationship-wise is up and down, mostly up. It's great that he helps me with my math class and is a good teacher and the most patient. I've needed the one on one and it's been SO helpful!<P>Spiritually growing I think. My hands go up a lot and I cry out our Father's name for help. I'm daily in the Word despite the busyness around me which is a good thing. My prayer life has grown and I hope I will maintain it.<P>I know this isn't forever but it is a hard, hard time. I'm growing a great deal but I keep telling God He's stressing me out! <P>Thanks for reading and God bless each of you, sustain you, and bless you!<P>IJN,<P>HM

HM,<P>I can empathsize with you, as I just finished my masters aalso. I remember those papers. I am praying for you. You seem like you have an awful lot on your plate right now!<P>Father, give HM clear thinking, a lot of energy to finish this paper. Lord, provide time for rest when the paper is done. Above all, Lord move her spirit to seek You daily to sustain it all. Lord, You are working in her, let her keep her eyes on Jesus and bless her with many gifts this day. In Jesus name, Amen.

HW,<P>Wow, a big congratulations to you!! What an accomplishment! How long did it take you? You have my admiration and encouragment. Especially completing this admist the turbulence in your life. <P>Thanks very much for lifting me up. I do have a lot right now and the one week extension on the paper alone was an answer to prayer. Thanks!<P>Dear Father, Thank you for the successes and strength you have given HW during these troubled and disconcerting times. Thank you that you have accomplished a great work within her despite the testings of the enemy. Father go before her and preserve her. Show and direct her in the way she should go. Father, open doors and windows to her and lead her through them and provide her with a job Father that is from your own hand! Provide for her and her family and make a new and very good place to live for them Father and provide them with help for moving and surround them with friends and support.<P>Surround Jack too Father and we commit this marriage and relationship with you. Work and continue softening and drawing HW's heart toward you. May you use her to affect all those around her Father. Into your hand we commend these concerns Father and ask your attention. In Jesus' name. Amen.<P>GB,<P>HM

Thanks HM, I knew someone must be praying for me because I have had a couple of super days.<P>I finished in two years. I went full time and straight thru. The first year with 4 courses each semester was a killer. I had to have lots of extensions for papers, but all my professors were very understanding. Then last summer I took 2 summer sourses. Therefore this last year I only had 3 courses per semester. This made a huge difference. Even one less paper per midterm and final made a huge difference.<P>Another prayer I have is for my daughter's frined and me too. She is going nuts at home and is coming to stay with us for 3-6 weeks. Her family just found out that her mother's father has been abusing her since she was 6 and she is 17 now. The grandfather started to make advances on a cousin just now 6 and that is how this all came out. <P>I ask for prayer for Katie's healing and for me to keep my sanity and that this time with us will be healing for both her and her family. Her parents are Chriustian and Katie has certainly been brought up that way. However I think her mother has been a little more forgiving in front of Katie than katie can handle. The grandfather is 80 at this point and in denial big time. Her grandmother is in shock but is almost treating her like the other woman. So lots of pain all the way around. In fact Katie's mom just found out she has an older brother (aged 50+ at this point and they will all meet later this year). She didn't even know her father had been married before. He didn't support thefirst wife and son after he left and thus the son was brought up in the slums of East St. Louis. Some father and grandfather! So please pray for us and also for my own daughters as they grapple with this as Katie is living with us.<P>thanks so much praying women! <P>hw

To hw: Could you please pray for Greg and his wife? His thread is how can I help my wife? on the In recovery forum. I pray you are doing better with the family situation, and your daughter's friend. God sustain you this day His user name is deadman74.<p>[This message has been edited by ymon (edited August 30, 2001).]

I could use some prayers for courage and wisdom. My counsellor is very pleased that I can now see what I really have in my pseudo marriage. I told C I want a divorce. I need to tell my H. It won't be a "safe" topic, and he does everything within his power to squelch any topic that isn't safe. I hope I won't be disobedient in the eyes of the Lord. The bible says it's ok for the unbeliever to leave (that would be my H), but I don't think he's going anywhere unless I issue an ultimatum. Things have been rough for a long time, and it looks like they're going to get rougher. I need strength, wisdom and courage!

I've been off the forum for ages and ages it seems! Congratulations on the progress, lonesome heart. I agree that it is fine for the unbeliever to leave. Be strong. Know yourself. Trust God and do not tolerate the intolerable. I'll certainly be praying for you.<P>I finally got around to reading a book I intended to read a long long time ago. It is Suze Orman's The Courage to be Rich. I am making parts of it required reading for several of my clients. There is a fabulous little chapter on divorce. If everybody followed her advice on premarital financial discussions there would be a significant drop in the divorce rate. Her perspective really demonstrates the importance of effective use of Honesty and Openness, Financial Support and POJA.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Karenna:<BR>Congratulations on the progress, lonesome heart. I agree that it is fine for the unbeliever to leave. Be strong. Know yourself. Trust God and do not tolerate the intolerable. I'll certainly be praying for you.<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm glad to see you still check in on us Karenna. Hope all is well with you. I learn something new every day. I'll see if the library has Orman's book. Does the effective use of honesty and POJA work when H is a non-participant? I can always save it for future reference. <P>In addition to prayers for my own courage and strength, please pray for my H that he may see his need for help and be willing to seek and accept it. I'd like very much for him to be enriched, fulfilled, and happy in this lifetime. I realize now that those are things I can't give him. <P>I lift up the women of this forum and thank the Lord for my opportunity to meet them. I am tremendously blessed by all the prayers and knowledge I have received here.

Ms. Karenna<BR>God is up to something good. I have recently discovered the wisdom of Suze Orman. Her insight is very spiritual and personally helpful to my life. I second the suggestion to read her book "The Courage to Be Rich". She also has a video in case those of you out there are strapped for time. "9 Steps to Financial Freedom" was insightful for me too, on the level of self-learning and searching so that I can grow in other areas of my life. Heart, you are still in my prayers, I am so glad to see there is some relief you are pursuing today. God blesses, when we come out of the messes, truly. lol