Hello ladies,<P>I mean no disrepect posting here, if anyone is bothered or offended I will go away. I have been lurking on this site and respect the people here and the concepts, but don't post out of respect.<P>I am an OW. I have been struggling with this situation for a long while. I am a Christian. I would like to ask for prayers, both for myself and for the man I am involved with, if any of you ladies could find it in your heart to pray for us. I pray about this often, but for obvious reasons can't really ask anyone in my "real" life to add their prayers. I do believe in the power of prayer, and would appreciate any that could be sent in our behalf.<P>I'm not asking for advice, I'm sure no one can say anything I haven't thought of myself, or seen expressed on posts and thought over. I hope too I won't be flamed by asking for prayers, but will certainly understand if I am. I truly am sincerely strugging, although still involved in my affair, and sincerely asking for prayers, for me, and this man as well.<P><BR>I'll spare you any explaination or details, other than to say I am finding it very hard to walk away because I do love him so very much, and to do so would cause him pain. I am struggling and confused, and in pain. He, I believe, is avoiding doing any real thinking about this situation, or any needed soul searching, but is trying stubbornly to sit on the fence, won't come to the realization I have because of that, that something must give, we can't continue this way (and yes, I do beleive that "something" means letting me go). From his perspective, I believe, this is because all other options (to him) seem harder and worse.<P>So, if any of you could find it in your hearts to pray for me, to find the strength to do what I know I must, and to pray for him to finally do some real thinking and soul searching and gain insight, I would be very thankful.<P>Juanita

I have an update. The man I am involved with called me today, at a time when this was all very close to the surface with me. We had a talk and agreed to step back and let the romantic part of our relationship go. I know this isn't enough by MB standards, but for me, for us, it's a big step, and "progress". Maybe now he will begin to be able to do some real thinking about his situation at home, and come to some healthier and constructive conclusions and ideas about all that. It is my hope truly that he find some way to have the happy and mutually satisfuing marriage they both deserve.<P>This is extremely painful for me, but I know it is what is best and right for both of us.<P>If any of you could still put us in your prayers, for continued strength in spite of our current feelings, and for him to finally do something constructive and proactive about his marriage, I would sincerely appreciate it.<P>Juanita

Hello Juanita:<P>I don't mind praying for you at all. This is a tough situation that you have gotten yourself into. I am happy that you are seeing the need to withdraw yourself from this situation. It sounds as though you may need a pastor or christian counselor you can get counsel from and also be accountable to.<P>Juanita, I know that you may want to be married someday yourself. (assuming you are not presemtly married). As a christian woman, it is important that you understand completely how your participation in this affair is not only hurting your present lover, but his wife and children (if any) and also how damaging it is to you and the how much it grieves the Lord's spirit. <P>Life has a way of repeating itself. Sin has a way of passing on to our children and so forth. The Lord knows your heart. I am not here to judge you, I am here to pray for you and hope that you will get the help you need and recommit your life to the Lord. He can make you whole again. He can ease the pain. First, you have to allow him to take control and eliminate anything that is in you that is not of Him. Your lover may choose to try to continue the relationship. No matter what he decides, do the right thing for yourself and make your relationship with the Lord first priority. If you do, you will not be sorry. He will bless you and if you are patient, he can find you a suitable mate that loves Him and who will bring glory to what the Lord oringinally intended for marriage. <P>May God bless you. Be strong. Stay in the word and talk to the lord as you would a friend in prayer...because he is your friend!

<BR>Juanita, I will be praying for you. <P>Heavenly Father, praise be unto Your Holy Name, the Name above all names. Almighty God, nothing is impossible for You, I stand in awe of You, of the great things You are doing. Father, I pray that You will fill Juanita with Your peace that passes all understanding, and will place ministering angels all around her. Father, thank You for Your truth, and for giving Juanita the strength to do what is right in Your eyes. Father, touch Juanita's life, draw her up to You, help her to cast her burdens upon You. I pray also for this family that is involved, Father, bring healing to this marriage. Lord, I ask these things and pray in Jesus' name, AMEN. <P>Here are some scriptures:<BR>...Come unto me all you are weary and heavy laden, take my yoke up you and learn of me, and I will give you rest and my burden is light.. Juanita, let Jesus take ALL the pain and heartache from you, He will heal you, and the man you were involved with. <P><BR>31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."JOHN 8:31-32 NKJ You are free from the bondage of sin that the enemy wants to drag you into, bought by the blood of Jesus. <P>May the Lord bless you,<BR>AW<P><I>"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." - Job 23:10</I><BR>

Thank you both, it means so much to me, and your prayers and concern bring tears to my eyes. It helps immensely, and I appreciate it.<P>May be hard to understand, but my faith throughout all this has been strong, and I have prayed daily about this. But I've been very confused as well, and it has seemed to me God had left me to sort this out myself, a test perhaps, I don't know.<P>I do know I've learned alot through all this, and I have been humbled, knowing even I could be drawn into something like this under the "right" circumstances.<P>Anyway ladies, just want you to know how much your prayers and posts have meant to me during this very difficult time. I do intend to do the right thing finally, and leave my concern for this man and his family to prayers.<P>Juanita

Lord thank You for Your revelation of truth. Thank You for Your mercy and forgiveness. I lift up Juanita now that she continues to cling to You and to Your Word. I stand in agreement with her that she uses the courage You have already given her to be obedient to You first God. Your Word says that no weapon formed against her shall prosper that includes fear and lust and deception. I speak courage, healthy love and truth into her spirit from Yours now God in Jesus' name. Your Word also says You know the plans You have to give her a hope and a future and prosperity, that is in spirit, emotions and physical living. Lord, let her be released from the bondage of fear and know that she is embracing Your presence and Your security. We lift up the married partner that he would return to Your way of doing and being right in Your sight and know that You will complete the work that You began, and Your will is already in effect. Thank You Father for we know it is already done. Amen.<BR> Juanita I am glad You first approached God with your dilemma and You can see He already began this work, for you received that phone call right after your first post. We make these choices and this is why we have to draw boundaries even on ourselves. You see how things can end up if we do not keep flesh under control. This does not have to happen again, and know that one or both of you may feel like you can handle just being friends or whatever. Do not give any opportunity to the enemy to deceive yourselves. Focus on God and His Word as you obviously have been. You can both come out of this bondage. Keep me posted.

God answered you on this one a long time ago. You have been running away from the answer, covering your eyes and ears because you want what you want. <P>I have been where you are! Well, close enough. Find a prayer. Find a scripture or something that you can cling to and recite over and over to give you strength. You need some strong words of truth, or of your new truth that will help you create your true destiny. I used, "Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil!"<P>Blessings!

I just wanted to thank you all again, and let you know your thoughts and prayers mean so much to me.<P>It's a struggle, a process, going through the grief and pain and disconnecting from what was for me a very close and significant relationship. But I am going through it, working through it with myself and I know it's for the best. Hurts like hell, but I'll be better eventually I know.<P>Please if you can keep me in your prayers, that I have the strength to do what I know is right, in spite of my desires and my own heart.<P>Bless you all.<P>Juanita

Good to hear from you again Juanita. I thank God with you that you can do all things through Christ who is His Word that strengthens you. An attachment did occur, so yes it does hurt some. Now is the time to nourish your attachment to God and be consoled by Him. As posted before, find scriptures, prayers to recite over and over that comfort and encourage you. You are in my prayers.

Thanks again, ymon. I am trying to continue to give this to God and draw closer to him. It is very hard to deal with, but I keep remining myself that I only have myself to blame, and it's only what I deserve. For some crazy reason holding on to that truth helps somewhat.<P>I keep you ladies in my prayers as well, and wish you all the best in your own journeys.<P>Juanita

I know in changing myself and leaning more on how God sees me, not to my own understanding, I have had to accept and hold on to truth that hurts at first. As time passes and I mature in what God is doing with me, my wants begin to line up with His wants for me. I have been meditating on Psalms 56 vs. 10, 11 & 12. It is a prayer asking God for a willing heart to sustain me (NIV). I have let that become a truth for me, and I didn't realize it. That prayer has become an anchor for my growth and self-forgiveness. I also can see me now as valuable, and if I need/ want some good thing, God is more than willing to give it into my life AS LONG AS I AM DOING AND BEING RIGHT. Keep me posted (((big hugs)))