To any of you that have followed my posts....the OM came to me today and said he knew about the page his wife got to call my number at work. He called and had a trace done on her pager to find out the numbers that had paged her during that time. I was thinking it could be someone in my office. Anyway....the last 8 pages she got came from her office number. Then, GET THIS....he said he could think of three people that work there that would want to do that to get to her. He is so blind. The affair has been over for months...why would anyone still be dwelling on it. He is too blind to even think that it is her doing it. That makes me think she sent the letters to my husband too. <P>Just goes to show....oh what a tangled web we weave.

Amazing how we came to similar conclusions! <P>Just goes to show ya, maybe the whole thing is better off in the past, and you focus on your H and the future.<P>Remember, chin up!<P>--keystone

Yes, I just shook my head in disbelief and thought to myself how lucky I was to have kept my husband. It also shows where OM's loyalty really is. He wanted to believe it was anyone but her, I don't think he ever even wanted to consider that it could be her. And who besides his wife would have a motive to continue all this stuff? I just did not voice my opinion. I don't want him to have that against me for talking about his wife. But, I don't really think an outsider would waste their time concentrating on an old affair. I really think his wife would do all this to try and get me to quit my job so I would be away from him.<P>And for one bit of good news....I told my husband how much I had enjoyed the few days off. I think he senses how much happier I am on the weekends or when I am not at work. He said that after the first of the year we would re-evaluate and see what we thought about me not working any more. Yippeeee!!!! I am a little scared to be that dependent on him, but I know things would improve drastically.

Susan,<P>Just checking in. Glad to see that the story is unfolding as expected. You know if you really wanted to be independent you could get a divorce. In all honesty, please don't worry about dependence. It is really the lesser of two evils. Keep up the good work with H. You two will turn into another success story.<P>God Bless You and Your Family

It sounds pretty good to me. I'm so glad things are working out.<P>Keep up the good work.<P>Lori

I have no proof, I just feel 99% positive.

Susan,<P>If the call was initiated by her, all the more reason to try as best as you and your H can to IGNORE these spiteful intrusions. No matter who they are from, that person does NOT have you and your H's best interests at heart!<P>Good Luck....<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I know this should not be important, the main thing now is focusing on my relationship with my husband. But....it continues to bother me. Can anyone think of a reason that OM's wife would want to take a chance in hurting my marriage? It still just seems like she would want me happily married and not take a chance on tampering with that. If I were her I would be afraid that if my marriage failed because of all of this, I may go after her husband again.<P>If I could make some sense of this one part, it would be a lot easier to process and work through this and continue to move on. <P>Any ideas? Sorry to keep on beating what should be a dead horse.<p>[This message has been edited by Susan (edited November 29, 1999).]

(to the top)<P>Come on, what do y'all think? Any ideas at all to this twisted thinking of OM's wife if it is her?<p>[This message has been edited by Susan (edited November 30, 1999).]

Susan,<P>After reading SHA's post I am not in a good mood, but her goes. The wife is in one of three situations. She is confident that H will stay with her and she is going to punish you as much as she can. She doesn't care whether H stays or not but SHE WILL GET HER REVENGE. Finally, she has lost her H and she will get her revenge. Short answer, if she is the one doing this SHE WANTS REVENGE. The reason makes no difference. <P>She doesn't care if you leave H to try to get to her. She has decided that you cannot affect her. Only two things can happen, you sit and take or you leave your H. If she cannot hurt you she will hurt your H. <P>Don't you see any action you take other than work on your marriage will play into her revenge motive. Someone in your family is going to be severely hurt if you react. It will either be you or your H. She does not care. Why should you???<P>Please focus on what is important. You now know that having affairs is not the best way to accumulate friends, but it sure is a good way to accumulate enemies. I will stop here with something my father told me many years ago and have found to be profoundly true. "Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate". I believe you understand that. <P>Good luck on your recovery.<P>God Bless You and Your Family<P>JL

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> Come on, what do y'all think? Any ideas at all to this twisted thinking of OM's wife if it is her?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><B>WHO CARES!!!!!!!</B><P>Work on what is important... YOUR MARRIAGE!!!! You’re wasting energy here that should be used on FIXING YOUR MARRIAGE!<P><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

You are a woman, and you know how women can be. SHE WANTS YOU TO HURT LIKE SHE HAS BEEN HURT BY YOU. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. She can't take it out on her H because she still loves him and wants to be with him. It makes it easier in her mind to make you out to be the scapegoat, because it compensates the ego for still being with someone who has cheated on her.

Susan --<P>"Paybacks are a *****"<P>--keystone

Keystone-<P>?????

Sorry...<P>"Paybacks are a b****" -- meaning...<P>Revenge all the way. That's all the OW can focus on right now. You're the target. Much like Plan A in reverse, this will drive you and you H back toward each other. Sieze the opportunity!!!!!<P>--keystone