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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 2
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Junior Member
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 2
Thank you hw that was event encouraging to me. Before I read you response to lafrance I wrote to a message board at ivillage under Christian families. I am also frustrated not with God but with my weak self. I pray for strength and grace because I keep making silly mistakes. I've stopped the calling and have been trying to be totally dependent on God but sometimes I call him and as my mother says I give the devil ammunition to walk all over me. This was right on time for me and I'm sure for lafrance. Also, I filed for child support although he was agreeing to help, I did it because I thought it would be easier emotionally for me and because he just provided as far as bills and food not their clothing needs and other activities. I used to give him my pay check and he would give me $20.00 a day, I hated that. Anyway,<P>God bless you. Below is my situation I sent to other message boards;<P>Hello everyone, This is my first time posting, I'll try not to be long. Today, it's been about 3 months since I've been separated from my husband and I'm hurting so bad. Here's my story; I'm a Christian so I look to God for strength but still weak at times. Husband is a SA (sex addict), we have two children a girl (4) and a boy (2) I moved out of our apartment to live with mom and step dad in house because husband exposed himself in front of the whole neighborhood out of our bedroom window masterbating and everyone looks at me and wonders. I've asked, apologized for my faults and suggested counseling and have done all I could to get him back (Yes you would probably call me a fool, but I believe in forgiveness, in this case he has not sincerely ask for any.) I am 29, during our 5 years of marriage he has made a pass at my sister, gotten arrested for indicent exposure once, he's a workaholic and a gymaholic, he thinks I need to work out like him and loose weight, I raise the kids and take them to church and work a 40 hour a week job. I want to be free of this hurt and this dependency I have on him to be a husband to me, I feel we never had a chance. I feel foolish to love him so much although I know it's real love because I've grown to know what real love is. I'm hoping and maintaining my faith in my marriage, while people and love ones are telling me to move on, O.K. what is moving on and how can I move on when your married or still desiring your spouse. I've heard, find joy, find something you like to do, but the desire is still there? I'm learning to accept myself while I'm still sick of myself for being so weak for this man. Why don't someone else come along but no I'm still married? <P>HELP? I'm sorry for the length. Thanks for reading. Any insight? <P><BR>

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 848
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hw Offline
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 848
Dasiaboo,<P>I responded on the other thread where you first posted before I saw this. God Bless


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