Hi everyone,<p>I am emotionally exhausted. It was so long and grueling. <p>Tony did not show up but his attorny was there. I was treated like the criminal here. I was badgered so much by the lawyer. I fought back though. Mom thinks the reason why they did not allow Tony there was because I would prove that he was doing drugs in my house and giving alchol to minors. <p>The judge did not make a rulling. I have to wait for the outcome. I asked for the locks to be changed and paid for by Tony, pay for the window, he can only take what is from the list, and pay for upkeep of the fish. <p>The lawyer downplayed my fears because I have not changed the locks yet. I have zero money...how can I pay to change the locks. Mom thinks I did great against the lawyer. I do not feel that of way. I feel like 12 angry men came in and emotionally beat me up for several hours. <p>Please pray that the judge renders an order that is fair and equitable. I really would like to get all the items in my favor but we will see. <p>Thank you all for your support and prayers so far. It does mean a lot to me. Even though I am physically alone I know spiritually I am not.

Well... phew!... you DID make it!! Give yourself a pat on the back for that!!<p>I am so sorry that you feel emotionally battered, and boy, do I understand it!<p>Listen to your mom, I bet you did great!!<p>Bottom line, I'm just sorry you had to go through this at all. If Tony would quit acting like an idiot, you wouldn't have to live like this -- but it seems you can't change him and he won't change himself... sigh... so... <p>It you, taking care of yourself, Paha. And you're doing a MUCH BETTER JOB than you give yourself credit for...<p>Love you,

Hi Sheryl,<p>
How are you doing? Are you feeling better? Not sure in Canada but here it is warming up. Yeah...wish it would stick but I know it will not. The sun is also shinning. I might try and go out for a mini walk.<p>Thanks for your support. My advocate also thinks I did well. We will see. I am tired of it. I want a normal life. Monday I am going to start going to the meetings for abused women. Maybe you sould see if there is a group up on Canada. I know your H now is perfect but issues with David might still resurface. What do you think?<p>All I know is that I am going to concentrate on my job interview on Friday. I need this job in the worse way.

You're so right Paha... I do have issues with David... had a long phone call with him yesterday, and it was painful... maybe I'll write you an email and spew my guts, like you need that added stress [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ... but yes, I need to find a place, a group, something, to work through stuff also... <p>Just remember how worthy you are, my dear friend.<p>I will be praying for you and sending HAPPY THOUGHTS for your job interview. You're right, you DO need it!!!!!

Hi Sheryl,<p>I am so sorry you are still going through the pain with David. Feel free to email me. Trust me you are NO burdon...you are a friend!!!!!!<p>Look it is just as helpful to me to talk to you about all this stuff as it is helpful to you. Plus it is nice to talk to someone who has been there. Maybe a major part of the issues you are having is because you need to clean you emotional house. I know I do. <p>Without Tony here and having the advocate with me today I feel so much better. I took a much needed nap and now I am up and about. I am still not 100% I know it is going to take a long time to fully heal from all this emotional abuse. I have only dealt with it for four and half year... You on the other hand had delt with it much longer. Try to just relax and process everyting. <p>I know for me I am going to start journaling all this pain. On the stand today in court the lawyer was making light of my concerns about Tony breaking in and how I should pay for the locks to be changed myself if I was that worried. I just looked him in the eyes and said I refuse to be the victim anymore. I think is is a choice we have to make and then work towards it.<p>((((((((((((((Sheryl))))))))))))))) You are a wonderful person.

Hi Paha,
Good luck with your job interview! When do you find out about the DVP? My H is still waiting for his power to turn on, and we're having quite a wind storm today. I'm helping him move a bed Friday so he'll have something to sleep on at the new place. With wind like today, a bulky bed might send me sailing off the harbor bridge. The new "deadline" is Friday. Pray for lights at my H's house! <p>Where is Tony now? Is there any way to get his stuff out of your place without being in contact with him? I'm debating the options for my H's stuff. H and I are a bit strange I guess. We combat over who's going to take things, not who's going to get things. He's probably planning on leaving most of his stuff here for me to deal with, and I have other plans. It gets a bit sticky, doesn't it.

Hi LH,<p>Just got back from the job interview. I will find out sometime next week. I got his business card and will email him over the weekend a thank you note. Please pray that I get it.<p>I sent you an email. God and I are not talking right now. I should say I am not talking right now. I am so angry. The more I think about the DVP trial the harder it is. Tony can abuse me till the cows come home but yet I am on the witness stand treated like dirt. It is not fair that I am having to take care of everything and Tony gets to run around and have fun. I hate this so much. <p>I want my live to go smooth for a change. I am tired of being dumped on and strugling. When do I get a brake?<p>I have no idea when I will recieve the DVP final order. When ever the judge decides to do it. I am trying very hard to let my anger go but it is not leaving just increasing.

Oh Paha,<p>IT'S NOT FAIR!! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I hope the news will be good for both the job and the DVP trial... It sux so bad that YOU are treated like a criminal.<p>I've been meaning to send an email, but I haven't had the strength to write about David yet. Still thinking of what to say.<p>You will hear from me soon.<p>Love you, and (((((Paha)))))

Hi Sheryl,<p>How are you doing? Try and just hang in there. I know how exhausting this all is. Rember take it one day at a time. This is what I am doing.<p>I should not complain much. You have been having such a difficult time as well. Are you feeling better? I am praying for you and your H. I know things are about to change for the better for you. Just give it a bit of time.

Hi Paha,<p>I am glad that you made it through that DVP trial - but I know the drain that you feel. Just remember, that although you were "treated" like a criminal - that you are not. <p>Also remember, that just because Tony is the biggest jerk in the world - that is no reflection on you. You can hold your head high.<p>Mostly I am concerned about you and God not talking right now. I understand that place. Just know that because you don't feel God right now, doesn't mean He isn't there. That is faith. You've got it, I know. When you are so down, it is really hard to "feel" God. But He promises to never forsake you or leave you, so believe it, okay?<p>Now my prayer for you:<p>Dear Heavenly Father,
Please be with Paha, and give her wisdom and increase her faith, Lord. Father, I can't even imagine the injustice you must of felt when your son, our saviour came to this world and was spit on, beaten and crucified. Father, I know that it hurts you also to see Paha going through this. Father, I do believe that all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to your purposes. Father, I believe this on behalf of Paha. All things, Lord, even this horrible place that Paha finds herself in. Father, I know that our biggest mistake is to ask "why" - and the right thing to do is to trust you. Please increase Paha's faith so that she can trust you even more during these times.
All this I pray, in your son's name, Jesus - the name above all names.
Amen