Hi Everyone,<p>
Well I went to the police to file a formal complaint. The detective is going to try and show stalking. This has more weight behind it. <p>I just feel like it is never going to end. I get my life somewhat moving forward and then BAM ...as Emril would say. <p>The detective was very kind and helpful. He called me today to let me know how things were going. I feel awful for having to go to such drastic measures. I worry all the time if I am doing the right thing. I feel sorry for Tony but he is just trying to manipulate me. He even called to wish me a happy V-day but then wanted to know if I was in Therapy. Everything he does is to use against me. <p>On top of everything the morgage company is threatening me again. I have been late with the payments. So they want a huge sum of money in 35 days because I broke the agreement. And no one will hire me. It is so NOT my year. I feel like a falure on all levels. I just do not understand why I am considered so awful and not hirable? I have the skills. <p>On top of all that Mom wants me to go to law school. How am I suppose to do that? Afford that? I promised I would look into it for her and see what I can come up with. <p>Could you all just pray for me. I feel attacked on all sides. This is causing me to just shut down and I have acomplished nothing.

Hello sweet Paha,<p>Tony is such a poop! I hear you about the love/sorry/hate thing, and not knowing if you're doing the right things. It stinks, big time.<p>I think you ARE doing the right things, by the way. I also think that life sometimes hands us piles and piles of garbage, and this must be your year to get it. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] Law school? Hmmm... are there grants for law school? Your mom is a sweetie, I know, but shoot, it would be a different story if you had some money set aside, wouldn't it? Look into though... what could it hurt, ya know?<p>I am so sorry you're feeling utterly attacked on all sides. Boy, I know how you feel. Did you ever speak to the doctor about anti-deps? I can't remember. I was thinking today that they have helped me to curb the panic and suicide-ish depression so that I could stay afloat emotionally. I do know that my circumstances rule too much of my emotions. It's so human though, isn't it? <p>Paha, you have ALWAYS been a lovely, wonderful, giving woman. Don't let the unemployment tell you otherwise, okay? Jobs are so hard to come by right now. It's not YOU, it's LIFE. <p>Take care, dear Paha.<p>(((((Paha)))))

You absolutely did the right thing when you reported Tony's violation of the order. Keeping quiet would be shielding him from consequences of his own actions. Lord knows I poured lots of energy into that department. All I can say is DDT! (Don't Do That, courtesy of microsoft tech support).

{{{{{{{{{{{{Paha}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>Dear Lord,
You have plans for good for Paha and Lord I ask that she be still and quiet for a moment to listen to your leading. Send your warriors to ward off Tony and keep him out of her way. Comfort and defend her her, in Jesus Name.

Hi Everyone,<p>Sorry I did not post sooner. I lost my internet access...not to mention my TV connection. I just can not afford to pay the bill right now. <p>I am trying to play catch up on all the bills. I took them all over when Tony left. He called again last night. I have to look but I think he calls every Friday night to see if I am home or not. Jerk. <p>I was going to go to the Law library but they are closed this week to research what I can do. I have asked a couple of questions from the Clerk but she is so nasty at times that I just give up. <p>I would like to thank all of you for your prayers. I really need them more than anything right now. The morgage company wants more money. IN the sum of over 4,000USD or they will take over the house. Not sure where they get that figure from. I have tried contacting them but they are never taking calls and I am at work. At work I have no privacy so it makes it hard. <p>I have to say the people I work for are very nice. They have gone out of their way to be so kind and attentive to my needs. I could not have asked for a better situation. Too bad they do not pay near enough for me to live off of. Nor do I want to do this the rest of my life. <p>The next trial that is coming up is his criminal case and then I have a hearing for the stuff he wants from the house. A lot of the stuff he is now asking for is mine. He and his family are doing it to hurt me and punish me. Can you please pray for me. I am not handling any of this very well.<p>LH to answer your question I am on Celexia. I have been on it for well over a year now. Use to be on Paxil but gained so much weight. I am sure it is working becuase I am not a complete loss. <p>My best friend from college called the other night. She wants me to move home. She has always wanted me to move home. And now I have nothing here. At this point I do not care if I loose the house and can never own one again...everything I have worked for is beyond a strugle. <p>Lor I am trying to hear what God's will is but sorry I just am not hearing what he wants from me. I have made the promise that I would read the New Testament and I am still in Matthew. <p>Sheryl --- you are so kind to me. You have no idea how happy I am that you seem to finally have forgiven yourself. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sorry this is long. I will try and check in at work sometime.