I am very excited to have found out my husband and I are going to have our first child. We are also moving into our first home soon. His family is the part I am worried about. His parents are divorced and his mother has recently gotten a live-in boyfriend. She told us he was a "room mate" at first thought I knew that was a tale and I didn't agree with even that - but she didn't ask us what we thought. Instead, she had her sister ask my husband who tolerates all the shenaningans. He tells his aunt it doesn't bother him as long as she is happy, but tells me he doesn't really like the idea, but is glad she's found a good one. Except for the part about living together, this man IS a good one for her. Anyway, I was livid when I found out and I told my husband. His mother still has a teenage son (he lives with his father) who I believe because she is a parent, she still must be a role model. Also, my husband's other brother has moved in with a very young girl who already has a child. I asked the girl if they were getting married and she flipped out. "We've only been dating six months! How long did you date?" I told her we dated a year and a half and didn't live together and was just curious if they would marry since they already act like it. She said she figured they were acting like it, but marriage hadn't even been discussed. <p>Okay, so I tell my husband that when we move into the new house with the guest bedroom that if his mother or brother want to stay over, fine, but they are not allowed to sleep in the same room. I told him this was going to come up sooner or later and that my reasoning is this:<p>We cannot control what others do outside our home. However, we don't believe in living together outside of marriage and because this is our home and this is the way we run it, our guests must respect that.<p>My husband acknowledged that he heard me but he said nothing. Recently, he was talking to his mother and said she would be coming to our town next month, so the crap could be hitting the fan sooner than expected.<p>My question: How do I handle a husband being passive on the moral issues with his family and yet maintain a relationship with them?

Hmm<p>I moved your thread per your request. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I am assuming since you asked to be moved to this forum that you are desirng to be the wife that God desires for you to be. In that sense then I suspect that perhaps an apology to your husband might be in order. Our job is to be the helpmeet, the sounding board, the safety net and encourager to the one God has placed over us as the provider, shepherd/leader, etc. You are to make known to your husband how you feel about the relationships in question, but you are also to submit to his decision, whatever that may be. I am sure your husband feels very torn, wanting his mother to be happy and yet uncomfortable about her choice for a live-in arrangement. The desire to honor his family and also to honor you must be very difficult for him. The big message with Chapter one of Power of a Praying Wife is that at times we need to shut up and pray and allow God to work in the lives of our husband. The house isn't just yours, it is both of yours and while you can tell him that you desire for the house to be a place of safety and refuge, free of sin, you also want it to be a place where God can use it for His glory... Satan wants us to demand our way, to usurp our husband's leadership and responsibility. <p>Will be praying for you.

SueB, <p>You are always right on the money and I am so thankful that you are obedient so that the Lord can speak through you to others as he does. You are so right. Sometimes I forget, or conveniently overlook, the fact that God designed my husband to be head of the household and not myself. Actually, I should be pretty darn glad He didn't don me with such a huge responsibility! Sometimes I guess I get arrogant and think I am spiritually superior to my husband and play Holy Spirit instead of just voicing my opinion - in a non-threatening way - and then quieting myself and acknowledging that the Lord knows and my job is to pray and support and respect my husband. But I always seem to try to take control. <p>But you are right, I do desire to be a godly wife and desire to be a godly parent alongside my husband for this child. I posted here about a year ago and you gave me a lot of good advice. A few detrimental things happened in this past year, but we handled things so much better. Tonight was our second anniversary!<p>Thanks for putting things back in His perspective for me!<p>(I capitalize He, Him and His when referring to the Lord so I hope you didn't get that confused with my husband)