First of all -- the issue of the children: We have 3, 2 from a previous marriage & the other born a year after we were married, at that time I had my tubes tied.

About 2 years ago I left H. Shortly after I left H started going back to church, I had not said anything to him about going -- he did this on his own. It wasn't to long after that he was at my door wanting another chance. He was honest & open with me, & eventually we have gotten back together about a year ago. Since then, we go to church together & have a marriage that at one time I would have never dreamed possible.

Although after everything that has happend, I felt as if I had no more to give him in the way of love, trust, & respect. I had to pray daily for God to give me those things to give to my H.

During the time we were together the kids had heard of his affairs at school (it's a small school) they too had lost respect for him & was a great joy to them when we left. They have also forgiven him, & have built a stronger relationship with him as their father. He also said the he never knew that the man was to be the spiritual head of the house until he started going to church.

Now to those of you that had prayed for me, & posted replies to help me I thank you, but let me share with you a few thoughts on some of the things that had been written:

1 Cor 7:5 NAS "Stop depriving one another, except by agreement...So that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control" Was I to deprive H, only to have him tempted all the more? instead I belive that God would not allow disease to infect my body for doing what I belived to be His will.

On the subject of whether or not divorce due to adultry is permissable, in the OT or NT.
MT 10:4-9 NAS "They said "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce & send her away." But Jesus said to them "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment But from the beginning of creation God made them male & female for this reason a man shall leave his mother & father And the two shall become oneflesh so they are no longer two, but one flesh What therfore God has joined together let no man seperate" Did God change His mind from the time of the OT to the time of the NT? I think not.

One final thought: I had beliving God for a miracle. Was I to tell God that "yes, I know You are the creator of all things & all things are possible, but I'm sorry God, but this is just to big for you to handle, I don't belive you can fix this mess." And leave my H?

God is to wise to be mistaken
God is to good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
when you can't see His plan
when you can't trace His hand
TRUST HIS HEART
IS 43:1-5

You have really uplifted my spirit. My H of 4 months left me in November. He was upset with me and my emotional neediness. I was afraid of losing him (since my father left me as a kid) and I guess I was a little too much for him to bear. When he left he said he wanted time away and that he wanted to save the marriage.

It has been 2 months yesterday, and I have learned the following things since he left:

a. Patience...you can't have everything done when you think they should be.
b. Faith...I have gained faith in letting go and letting God take over.

Hubby doesn't communicate much with me, so I don't know where we really stand. But I will keep the faith and be patient.

Thanks for your words of encouragement.
Nomoregames

Nomoregames--
When you said that your H left you, because of your "emotional neediness" i wanted to share with you something my mother had told me, When I went through my divorce (14 years ago) I did not understand what she meant at that time, & it is a hard concept to explain, but I'll give it a shot.
She told me that I am the only person that can make me happy. I remember thinking at the time that she was crazy, thinking that she was saying that if my H abuses me either emotionally or physically, that it is my fault I am unhappy.
i thought about this for a while, & began to see what she meant. first of all I cannot control what others may say or do to me, is this my problem or theirs? I can only control what I do to others. I can go around with my head hung low because I gave them permission to make me feel bad, or ushammed (sp?) OR I can choose not to let them make me feel that way.
In other words your fathers problems were his, not yours, why he left was his mess, nothing you did or didn't do -- so stop blamming yourself!!!!
This is effecting other relationships & will continue to do so until you say that it is enough. Your loves you -- not because of what your father did, but inspite of it.
Besides, I belive that your "neediness" is the relationship that God is looking for from you -- how bad do you need Him? If you feel this neediness, pray & ask God to set you on his lap for some attention for a while. I forget the exact location, but there is a verse in Isiah that tells you , you are invited to sit on Gods lap anytime you want. I will look for it later & get it to you.
You also said that you & H don't communicate much -- ask him to have lunch with you once a week. When you see him, don't be needy at all, tell him you know you have been, you are sorry, & that you are working on not being that way anymore & leave it at that, instead, act like 2 old girlfriends going for lunch, not needy. Let H make the next move after that, for now.