Got back a little while ago from the divorce. It took about 10 minutes before the judge and then we had to wait an hour to get some papers copied and notorized.<P>I thought I would have been a little more emotional, but I wasn't. I guess the little argument x and I had before the lawyer arrived helped that.<P>All that was involved the judge asked us a couple questions like were we residents of the state for 6 months, did we both agree to the settlement and child support issues and that we were not coerced and that since my x didn't have a lawyer did she want additional time to finf one(she said no). He also asked x if she was pregnant and would there be a name change. She said no to pregnant and not at this time to the name change. I guess she plans on marrying om.<P>After that judge granted our disolutionment and that was it. ABout 10 mins was all it took.<P>I had a counsleing session at 1: that lasted till 2 and then I came home. The counselor thought I was doing good and said she will keep her records open for a while but didn't see any need for more appointments.<P><BR>I'm feeling numb. She said it is disengagement and asked when I thought I would start feeling something. I said probably the weekend when my emotions hit again.<P>Gotta run, the kids are home form school.<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<P>

Boy that sucks! Seems like I may be headed down the big D road myself. It is funny 10 minutes and it just is supposed to wipe away years! Boy if only it took that long in our minds and hearts, there would not be a need for this site and Harley would be out of business! So in a sense he should be thanking our low-down, cheating, good for nothing spouses for making him rich!! = Hope I could bring a little smile to your face! If not then I apologize for the tasteless joke!

{{{{{{RWD}}}}}}<P>I hope I can be as strong as you! My thoughts and prayers are with you today. <P>I think my papers will arrive tomorrow happy groundhog day.

RWD,<P>Hang in there, okay? Just remember that everything happens for a reason even if you do not understand it right now. You will. Time heals all wounds. Continue to move on with your life. You are a wonderful person. Don't forget that. If I could drink, and lived nearby, I would take you out for one.

Love ya Bob.<P>Hang in there.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

RWD --<P>Sorry.<P>You've got to move forward. Just remember to let your children move forward with you. Don't let them live in mixed memories of the recent past.<P>TOGETHER, you guys can survive it.<P>Chin up!<P>--keystone

RWD,<P>I hate this for you. I remember my day in front of the judge. My ex didn't even show up. Everyone in the room was so cheerful and my heart was breaking. I could remember coming there with my H to get our marriage license. The judge looked at me and said, "O.K., your divorced!" It was awful. You might want to continue therapy for a while, because if your like me, some depression will set in. Just because its final on paper doesn't mean your emotions go away. I hope your kids are doing well.<P>AD

Stay Strong. I praying for a swift healing.... Love Ya'! You can make it through this, you're not alone.<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Bob -- I'm so sorry for you, but I can't understand why the counselor is turning you loose. There could be some hard times in the near future. I echo the thought that just because the divorce is final doesn't mean that the feelings stop.<P>Anyway, we are here for you. You've always been there for me to listen and offer your thoughts(which I always valued highly) and I appreciate that so much. You've got your kids and that's important. Right now make them the focus of your life and maybe pleasant surprises will await you.<P>Take care my good friend and don't leave here unless you must because you are very valuable to me and many others here.<P>--DeWayne--

Bob,<P>I was thinking about you and praying for you and your children all day!!!!<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BOB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Thanks all for your prayers. I think they did help me be strong today!<P>The reason the counselor turned me loose is that I am past the major hurt of all this. Yes, I will still encounter some problems, but I have a great support system and when the kids are around I'm not down. I am moving on and have been since Nov when I knew my marriage was over. That is when I started focusing on myself and my kids. <P>Also x still keeps doing things to p@#s me off so I get numerous chances to vent at her.<P>She is going on another vacation in late March and I have to go out of town for a week so she said I could get her parents to watch the kids then. I asked her why she doesn't she take vacation to watch the kids and that I was getting tired of being a babysitter for her while she went on trips. Of course it was my fault that I just told her about my business trip. I guess I should know that they have trips planned every other month or something!!! LOL<P>I used my snow blower to clear snow from my and my 2 neighbors driveways tonite and my spirits are picking up.<P>I guess I knew for a while my marriage was over and this was the formal end. Basically it was the Dr signing signing the death certificate of a dead patient. The patient was already dead, but you need a legal authority to confirm it.<P>I had to laugh when I left the counselors office, she said she took it as a personal affront that my marriage failed. She said she fully believes in marriage and tries to save them. She also liked Harleys newsletter That I forwarded to her.<P>Good nite and God Bless for now. I'll be around but not as much. I want to thank everyone who has posted to me over the past 7-8 months, God has it been that long!. I guess time flys when you are having fun ?????<P>God Bless!!<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<P>

Hang in there... I admire your strength and the way you are handling things. You'll survive. God bless.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn<BR>

Bob<BR>I am glad to hear you are taking care of yourself. I feel very much like you, my final date is Feb 10th, but it feels like it has been over for a while. How did you feel when it was truly final? I think even though I have resigned myself to the fact it is over, I will have some difficult times that day. Maybe a conseling appt for me that day would be good. If you want to share, please email me at Arabrider@msn.com. Good luck to you Bob..I know you did your best to save your marriage and now any other relationship you have will benefit from what you have learned here..<P>------------------<BR>Susan<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by sue (edited February 02, 2000).]

Bob,<P>I have been lurking and posting a bit, but I have been a long time member. I will be going to court like you in a few weeks. I did really well in mediation and did not become emotional. I wonder if I can hold it together in court? The counseling session after is a good idea. Although I think that it often brings back the hurt over and over.<P>It sound like you are moving on. Just remember to keep valuing yourself and remind yourself that your did try, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Love your children and keep your head up. Take care,<P>Gerri