I was doing so good, but things seem to be on a downhill slide right now and its getting to me. My H Mother was in the hospital last weekend and we had a frustrating day trying to see her and putting up with my SIL that drives my H crazy. That night he was angry and turned away from my kiss. When I asked what was wrong he said he was stressed. We talked about his Mom a little and I offered a backrub. But he refused.<P> I think I have been doing a good plan A. But things seem to be getting more intense between H and OW. I have found phone cards and he goes through them pretty fast, even though they work together. He has been more distant this week again after we had made some progress.<P> I am stressing out because I am doing something for me this weekend. Going to the Northwest Flower and Garden Show all day on Saturday. When I told H that he said how early does it start, are you going first thing! So now I am left with the feeling that he will make plans with her on Saturday. I am also working Friday while he is off so he will probably do something with her then too. I know I can't police him every minute of the day but it is so hard to be so suspicious.<P>So I was feeling I was doing agood job on plan A , but turns out it was just because I hadn't been tested. When I am making those baby steps I can hang in there. But how do I keep going at these times? I am so tempted to call and get the record of his calling card. I know it will hurt me, but I feel the need to have some information and as he is completely denying everything, I feel I need some proof.<P>So, any words of wisdom or anything else welcome. I am going out for a walk and will try to relax. Lora

Oh, Lora, I'm sorry your H is being such a pr*ck. As you know, you are one of my "special projects."<P>It sounds like you want to confront. Are you sure? You will need more specific information than just phone records. Phone records can still be "just friends." Remember, he will LIE.<P>And the issue isn't even whether the affair is physical. He has an inappropriate outside attachment that's damaging to your marriage. That's the issue. <P>I know there are others here who can give better advice, because I was extraordinarily lucky in that my Plan A worked almost immediately. In your shoes, I might not have been so successful.<P>Most counselors are not very understanding of these methods. You might want to try Harley phone counseling or get a referral.<P>Take care, kiddo.

Thanks Jill,<BR> I know, I don't really want to confront him. Heck, I've gone all my life avoiding confrontations and not shareing my feelings. Thats probably part of our problems. I just feel a little crazy right now. I want to know where he finds the time to call her for an hour. I'm tired of being the only one that admits there is a problem. I probably should call and set up an appointment and see what the Harleys say about a situation where the betrayer remains in denial. Does anyone know how they say to procede when he refuses to admit to emotional affair?<BR>Lora