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Joined: Oct 1998
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OK, I'm starting to get pissed. And I don't even know exactly who I am pissed at!<P>I got this email tonight: <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> Terri, It amazes me to see how DESPERATE a "woman" can act to get <BR>attention(even negative) from a man. What does he have to do to be FREE of<BR>you? <BR> YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO PATHETIC !!!! <BR> <BR> MAYBE someday you'll have the COURAGE/DIGNATY to go on even<BR>though I seriously doubt it!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I stopped at the pizza place tonight and ordered food. I hung around waiting for my pizza - it took about 1/2 hour to get it. During that time, I talked to my husband. At first, he was not talkative - but he was aggravated when I got there, as it was so busy at the pizza place and his boss was miserable. After I was there for a while, he and I were chatting as we usually do... we talked about stuff we'd watched on tv. After I got my pizza, I hung around for a little longer, because we were having a nice conversation. He asked me about my family and my friends, and we kept talking... I actually started to leave three times, but he kept talking to me and I to him. Finally I did go home, and have been sitting here minding my own business... I was going through email and noticed a new message in the "Dirt" folder ... there was the email!<P>The email was sent about 1/2 hour BEFORE he got out of work...<P>I can't respond or even talk to him about this, because I'll be playing right into her hands, won't I? GRRRRRR!!!! This is so AGGRAVATING!!!!<P>OK, I feel a little better - but, as I said in my subject line - comments and advice welcome. Thank you!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

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Terri,<P>If you would just stop all this Plan A stuff and stop getting on that poor slug's last nerve !!<P>This email doesn't have as much info as the other (darn). You'll just have to wait for the next one. <P>What are you giving him for Valentine's Day?<P>Don't reply or react to this one either. Your DIGNATY is getting to her. <P>Sheesh, is it possible to be soooooooo stupid? <P>It's working, hang tight.<BR>

Joined: Apr 1999
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Terri,<P>Just ignore this slug's e-mail. Let her keep screaming out her insecurities. It's comical.<P>You're doing a fine job with your Plan A.

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You're achieving a little discussed advantage of a good Plan A: It pi$$es the OW off!!!! More than any confrontation, more than any discussion, more than just about ANYTHING!<P>Keep it up! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lori

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terri,<P>On my way out of town for the weekend and had time for a quick look and saw this.<P>Pay NO ATTENTION to anything she says...only HIM. I wonder if he is startting to just talk about you in casual terms, that you had been by, that you and he had talked about a subject or something on TV or some mutual friend or relative...whatever. He has to be mentioning YOU to her and it is eating her alive!!!!<P>Your PlanA is showing some results...GO GIRL!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

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Hi Terri,<P>Good stuff. I'm in the same camp as others who've posted already. Keep going as you are.<P>It's obvious you've got The Slug all riled up. And why would she be so emotional? Gee, could it have anything to do with your H's fondness for you?<P>She's getting reeeeeel threatened right now, Terri. My guess is that the more you're able to keep your composure, the more she'll lose hers. One of these days it might just be enough for H to dump her.<P>You've taken a long-term approach to getting your H back. You've done very well, from what you've wrote to us. Stick to the plan.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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Terri,<BR> If I were you, I wouldn't be p*$$ed off; I'd be cackling with glee! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> When she sees that she can't get to you, she's gonna start lovebusting <B>big time</B>, if she hasn't, already! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> You go, girl!!!

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Thanks for the support, everybody!<P><B>InShock:</B> LOL! Oh, poor slug? NOT! And it IS possible to be that stupid - she keeps proving it over and over again!<P><B>NoTrust:</B> That's a good point: comical... I'll keep that in mind at all times - really, she's over the top again, isn't she?!<P><B>lostva:</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Now, why would <B>I</B> want to piss off the slug? LOL! Dr. Harley doesn't say much about that particular effect of Plan A, does he?<P><B>Roll Me Away:</B> Thanks for taking time out to write! The idea that he is talking to her about me had bothered me at first, but I do see the good side of it! <P><B>DuncanMac:</B> Threatened ... that's a good word. She's feeling threatened and I've never said a word to her! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] And, you ain't kiddin' that I've taken the long-term approach!<P><B>All:</B> I'm so grateful to have this forum to come to when stuff like this happens - it is a real sanity-saver, because it is soooo easy to allow this kind of thing to overwhelm the slivers of sanity and composure that we need to protect!<P>And you all are absolutely right - anything that ticks her off is good for me. If he really was acting upset (at home) about me coming by or calling, she would be happy, wouldn't she - and not write to me. This isn't much different, now that I think about it, than getting the annoying hang up phone calls, except with words ...<P>I will be going to the pizza shop again tonight, because I won't have my stove back until tomorrow... Gee, wonder how much trouble I will be in THIS time? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

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<B>Sweetpea:</B> We must have been posting at the same time... You're right - and I'm starting to laugh about it now, and really hoping that she is starting to LB! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

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Just keep pouring on that salt, girlfriend! And all without lifting a finger. . . hee hee! Sorry I haven't emailed; will soon, that's a promise.<P>

Joined: Dec 1999
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Terri<P>Don't let the slugs words get to you!<P>As others have pointed out the more pi**ed she gets the less attractive she will seem to your H. <P>I'd love to be the fly on the wall when he is with her. I bet she's all over him with her rants and raves. And there is sweet, understanding Terri just being patient and loving! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Keep it up girl, you are making some major strides in the right direction!<P>Fingers Crossed<BR>(who owes you an email and will respond soon [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )

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Oh, Terri, I wish I had your patience... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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<B>Carol:</B> I have plenty of salt stored away! Good to "see" you - thanks! I await your email!<P><B>Fingers Crossed:</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Yep, Sweet me! Talking with him intelligently about all manner of interesting things... I'll be watching for that email from you, too!<P><B>Lor:</B> Patience! You are the Empress of patience! I grovel at your feet - seriously, Lor, you have the patience of a dozen of the most patient of us here! But thanks for the compliment anyhow! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

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OK...maybe the best and most dignified thing is to ignore her, but if you were going to respond here are a few seed ideas.<P>Slug,<BR>I didn't know Pizza X was having a special...a mighty tasty pizza for pick-up and wise words of counsel delivered, all for one low price!<P>Or<P>Slug,<BR>I like my Pizza extra meaty with that tasty sause I just can't get enough of. Mmmm mmmm, good. Funny thing this last Pizza had a side of words delivered with it. Don't worry, I saved a piece for you. One never knows when they have to eat their words.<P>Any other suggestions for Terri? <P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

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terri,<BR>I can be an a$$. I know this, and I don't suggest that you actually follow my advice... but.... I've tried this before and it's a sure way to get someone's knickers in a knot..<P>reply with this...<P>dear slug, <P>DIGNATY is spelled dignity.<P>Terri<P>'Course you can leave out the slug part, it diminishes the overall effect... lol. Sheesh, talk about insecure... she must be quite afraid of you. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Deut<P>ps: again I don't actually recommend you send this, just imagine you did. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Pettiness can be amusing, but it won't neccesarily further you cause.

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Terri~<BR>It's nice to "think" about how you could answer the e-mail but I wouldn't. It would only intensify and strengthen the friction between the two of you and she would use that to get to your H.<BR>I would comment this though, conversations between and Husband and Wife are just that, between the two of you and none of her business. You might make a copy of the e-mail and let him know that you received it and if he doesn't wish to talk with you at certain times you would be more than willing to give him the space he needs. That will bring the stuff back between the two of you without letting her in. <BR>You have NOTHING to be ashamed or embarrassed by and nothing to loose when doing this. It isn't a love bust, just you being concerned weather or not this is HIS wish or hers. You can abide by His wishes, hers don't mean diddily to you. God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

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Thanks everybody! I've decided NOT to respond and NOT to bring it up to my husband, either. I am going to continue what I am doing and intensify it if it continues to bring results - and I mean OTHER than rabid responses from a threatened slug... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>There are several ways that she could have found out I was there the other night: One of her friends may have been there while I was there and contacted her about it. She called while I was there and when the waitress picked up the phone, I was talking and laughing about something, so she may have heard me. She may have called again and H may have told her I was there - especially if she asked him.<P>And, even if he simply told her that I was there, he must NOT have been complaining about it, or else she would be happy - not rabid, right?<P>At any rate, here's my fantasy reply to the slug...<BR>=====<BR>Dear slug,<P>Hmmm. Somehow, I'd say it's YOU that is sounding like the desperate one. Just so you know, I went to order pizza. And talked to my husband while I was waiting. Funny, the conversation didn't have any negative feeling to me ... maybe you should ask him what we talked about, mmm?<P>Did it ever occur to you that he doesn't WANT to be "free" of me? If he did, it's simple: divorce. Something he has made no effort to do, have you noticed?<P>The pathetic one here is you. You are with someone else's husband, really believing that he will be faithful to you when he has lied to you about me from the beginning. I know you will never believe that, because it would put too much of a crimp in your self-centered little world.<P>As far as my level of courage, I'm far more courageous than you - I am standing up for a committment I made in front of both of our families and friends and in front of God. Obviously you have no concept of "committment" or you would understand that "till death us do part" is a serious vow that I made and will honor.<P>As far as "dignaty" (maybe you should go back to school, btw, your spelling and grammar only reveals to me how dumb you really are) - re-read your own messages to me. Dignity is when you remain calm and polite in the face of nasty stuff like you. Your messages are devoid of dignity, they are filled with fear and hate.<P>Just what are you afraid of? That 15 years of history together MIGHT just be enough to overcome your piddly 4 years of sneaking around in bars? Are you afraid that now that I know the basis of your relationship, I might just be able to provide the same things for him - only MORE and BETTER? With intelligence and class (things you've proven time and time again that you do not have)?<P>You're pretty amusing ... If you weren't such a mean, self-centered b*tch, I might almost feel sorry for you.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Have a nice day.<P>The WIFE.<BR>=====<BR>There, that feels better now... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Thanks again folks!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by terri (edited February 06, 2000).]

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terri,<P>You've got CLASS and STYLE!!!!!!!!!!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

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She called him while you were at the pizza store!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha<P>heee heeee heee ROFLMAO<P>It's just a matter of time, my "slug" - before you are HISTORY!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha<P>

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Oh my, the poor little slug is feeling insecure, poor baby. ROFLMBFBO.<P>Here is a little poem for the slug, maybe it will cheer her up. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>_____________________________________________<BR>Slug, slug , get a clue.<BR>Terri is a better woman than you.<P>Terri will continue in plan A<BR>And soon her hubby will be home to stay.<P>Oh Slug, slug painted bright,<BR>are you worried that Terri's hubby will talk to her tonight?<P>What's the matter slug ? Are you afraid it could be true that her hubby really loves her more than you ?<BR>_____________________________________________<P><BR>There now maybe she will feel better. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR>Yes I am bad, I know.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

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