Well, <P>I have decided that I am going to start fighting back! I am not going to sit on my duff and do nothing as some other guy steals the best thing in my life away from me.<P>Ok, so she won't go to counseling, she sent me a goodbye forever note, and won't respond to my e-mails. I don't care.<P>I am not ready to let go. I refuse to give up until she tells me to go away.<P>Which might happen very quickly. But, until I am beat up enough that I can not go on any further, I will try.<P>I can not and will not let go until I am ready.<P>I am taking a slow and gradual approach as to not scare her away or make her angry.<P>So, I will send one white rose in a simple vase to her office on Valentine's day. White is her favorite. (bet he dosen't know that)<P>I have already sent a "thinking of you" type Valentine card, and wrote a small note which basically says, "I am learning how to be in a caring, loving, sharing realtionship. I'm learning what I really want out of life with help from my counselor. I know you are learning a lot from your counselor, I hope someday we can share with each other what we have both learned.<P>Thats it!<P>I know I am setting myself up for some tremendous hurt if this does not work, but I can't feel much worse then I do right now. <P>Also, if that happens, maybe it is the push I need to let go.<P>Please wish me luck, I love her soooo much!!!! <P>

I wish you much luck and happiness. Valentine's Day is not going to be an easy one this year but I'm sure there are meny people here praying for you.

JJ, you go, just try to remember no expectations you can go all out to show her you love her but don't expect her to reciprocate...yet<BR>Lesa<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Best of luck to you!! One way or the other your actions will hopefully eventually bring a sense of "closure" to everything - either you will get her back and have that chance to make things right together, or you will know that you tried all you could and can no longer give anything more and move on - it might be sad and it might of course be very painful, but at least you are making the decision to do something and try as hard as you can - you are giving it the best chance you can!

Jersey Joe 2<P>I think you are a very strong man. Good luck to you. I would love to have someone work so hard for my love.<P>Please be easy on yourself. Don't set yourself up for tremendous pain that will devour your passion.

going,<P>Thanks for the prayers<P>Lesa,<P>Iam not expecting her to reciprocate, I'll be happy if she does not tell me to go away.<P>Tired,<P>I know it will be real easy to get hurt. But if I can't let go, maybe I need a little more hurt. PlusI feel so bad now, I can;t imagine it could get worse.

JJ - way to go! Remember, I spent MONTHS sending cards and letters with NO acknowledgement. MONTHS listening to talk of divorce. MONTHS hearing it was all a mistake. And that was on the few times I actaully saw or spoke to him!!!<P>He saved them all. 3 weeks ago he thanked me for them - all of them. Next Thursday we're leaving to go out of town together and we're BOTH excited.<P>You never ever know! Good luck to you.<P>Lori

JJ2,<BR>Go for it!! Most of us here have heard the word "never" and there are some who are actually in recovery. <P>Honestly if it doesn't work you will hurt but you will probably feel better about you. I wish my H was as determined as you. <P>Good for you!!<BR>Mitzi

J J<P>Keep up the good attitude and you will win her back. Don't let her push you away, keep at it. I agree with one of the people above me, don't expect "too much" so you won't set yourself up for a failure. Keep at it and let her know you are waiting. If anything, it could create tension when OM finds out what you sent (good ha ha) I hope it all works out for you. I am not into playing any kind of games to get into my H and OW affair, but if they have problems as a result of my kindness, then good.<P>Try and stay positive. I am DREADING V DAY in a big way. I have been dreading it since New Years.<P>

JJ,<P>You've learned the basics well...<P>You've done good...<P>I wish you all the best...<P>Know that your regardless of the results... whether good or bad... we'll be here for you! <P>Love you... <P>Jim

<P>Lostva,<P>WOW - Thanks for the post. Your story gives me tremendous inspiration. I wasn't aware of some of the details. That's great I am sooooo happy for you. <P>Mitzi,<P>I know I could crash and burn on this one, but I do feel better knowing I am trying. If she tells me to get lost, maybe that's what I need to move on.<P>Lonelymom,<P>I know what you mean about Valentines Day. While I was not always the most romantic guy, I did try to make that day special for her. <P>She left me on the day of our 3rd aniversery (Jan 5th), so the Super Bowl, V Day, etc. are all so fresh in my mind as to where we were three years ago, what we did, etc.<P>Anyway, I feel better just doing something.<P>Thanks for the support <P>Jim,<BR>Thanks a lot, I know everyone is here for me.<P>I thank God you guys are here, know one else really can relate to what we are all going through.<P>Lord, Thank you for my dear friends here at MB.<P>Please bless and protect them, and let them all find the happiness they deserve.<P>I ask this through Christ Our Lord,<P>Amen<P><BR>