Well the days are passing by and my H and I are still together. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote, and I hope that it can help others as well. First thing I did was see my doctor for a physical and talked to him about my stress/depression and he was very helpful and concerned and gave me some wonderful ideas. Then I told my mother what was going on, she is a very strong woman and is a lot of support for me, not judging just listening and helping me deal with things. She did however feel the need to tell my FIL what was going on, and he in turn had a talk with my H about his committments...I don't know what they talked about I have not asked and don't think that it is necessary. I have found a couple of very wonderful women who I can talk to who are also not judgmental but supportive of me and are there when ever I need them. I have also been socializing more at work, having lunch etc with my coworkers. Reading an inspirational book...doing things for myself and surrounding myself with supportive people. This has a profound effect on your whole perspective, and quite frankly makes life a whole lot easier when you can share your pain with people that care. As for my H, he is still bouncing back and forth, but early this morning we started talking and he said that maybe he shouldn't want the OW in his life. We had been talking about how her H was feeling and why it was so hard for him and why she was having such a hard time relating to him with my H present in her life(I brought her up, my husband has not said much about her lately). Our conversations have gradually been progressing to not talking about her at all to things in our relationship and why/how things happened and how we felt at the time. I mentioned counseling a few days ago, and then again last night for ALL the parties involved and he said that it was probably a good idea. We talked about a lot of things, no hurtful words, just our feelings and how we had related to each other in the past and how we were feeling now. I told him some things that I am sure he would rather not have heard, but I made sure to tell him that I was NOT saying them to hurt him, that it was what I felt and that I was being honest with him. For a night that started out with him not wanting to be close to me and ending up with his arms around me holding me close the rest of the night, I felt that at least he had heard what I said and maybe began to understand what this was doing to me and maybe to him too. What ever the reason, he has not done that for awhile. I take my progresses in small doses these days and just keep letting him know in what I say and do that I love him. I have also found that my sense of peace (most of the time anyway) confuses him, because he can't understand how I can love him and be hurt by him and still be happy to be with him. I am ready however, for him the do something to hurt me again, because he will, until he gets this thing worked out. I can perservere, I am strong and will not let this destroy me and out family, as it has him. Time is all we have right now, and I can wait for him.
