David, <P>seek councelling.....even if she won't attend, try to seek help with this...<P>I understand how private a person you seem to be, so there is no need for you to tell anyone, but you are driving yourself crazy with this, and probably driving a wedge deep into your marraige...<P>I read your other post....<P>seek councelling....<P>and maybe sit with her and TEACH her how to do the bills....<P>her appearance???....send her to a spa for v-day....a total spoiling of her, massage, pampering and a makeover might make her feel special and attractive....if she finds herself attractive then others (you) may follow suit...<P>she is shy....so invite friends over to your house...small gatherings.....slowly introduce her to a social scene....invite some people she may like and has already met...<P>you have to spend the rest of your lives together if you get through this.....not your parents, not her parents, not your or her friends, but the two of you together....what you and she feel is what is important....not what anyone else will think...<P>the images and visuals that go through your head are difficult for you, I understand.....<P>think for a moment of the visuals and thoughts going thru her head...at least the things she did were BEFORE your marriage....the things that torture her were done by you AFTER the marriage....<P>only one of you has truly broken any marriage vows, David...and it was not her....<P>I understand and respect your culture and the cultural differences in the country you have chosen to live in.....but it is the country you have chosen to live in, and by law, she could divorce you for adultery.....<P>seek help....sometimes, we all need to grow up a little, you just need some help to do it so that you no longer hurt yourself or your wife through your actions and opinions....<P>Dylan
