A quick private note to my SO (who reads & posts at this site)...<P>It feels very strange and unnatural to read posts you make. I purposely stay away from them so as to allow you the distance and perspective in both mind and body to rebuild yourself and to define for yourself the future you choose and that wich will be included in it. I ask the same. It hurts to read your replys to my posts. To know that we are both very aware of who one another is. I need to remove the facade. If there is to be healing and moving forward, be it on our own or together, I need a distinct and tangible set of rules. You asked for no further contact, wich I will abide by and allow you to be the one who reestablish contact. I ask that we do not post to each other. No contact means no contact (took me awhile to understand the why's behind this term).<BR>You have no idea how much it pains me to post this. I feel as though I am leaving a part of me behind. I am more than a little surprised that I am getting a measure of strength and solice through this site. Yet if I feel the need, I will further distance myself by no longer coming here. I really don't want that.<BR>How to end this? Truth is, I feel as though I am talkling to you again, right now, and as soon as I finish typing you are going to be gone forever. I die a thousand small deaths a day as every movie, joke, flower and breath reminds me of you. I hope I never lose that. My heart will remain open forever.<BR>Goodbye my love. I hope that happiness fills your day in all the ways I failed and love completes you and keeps you warm.<P>Gord
