Boy, oh boy. In another mess!! Don't know if I can do this one!! Well my H has moved back in, no where else to go.I was wondering about this weekend cuz we did some stuff together ect. Well the ow's parents are in town, he hasn't met them, she went out of town today, back tomorrow. He said this is "just a place to stay" he will go see her tomorrow. Well what do I tell the kids?????? This is a little too much I think. If he wants to see her then do it so I don't have to see it. Its one thing knowing its happeneing but actually seeing it is beyond me! I gave him the friendly V-day card, he was disappointed, he was expecting the YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CARD. We talked for quite awhile tonight. He said that he hopes if it doesn't work out with her that him and I can try. WoW!! Didn't get XXXXed but let me tell you that XXXXes me off. Told him that I hope he didn't expect me to sit around and wait. I told him he could have the house, i don't want the responsibility, (the house was mine before we got married), well I STRONGLY believe that she is moving in here with him when me and the kids go. He says hes confused, says he cares about me a great deal, even may have said I will always love you. But he says he loves her. She makes him happy. The reason he is sad now, shes out of town. He doesn't drink when hes with her. He drinks when hes with me, ALOT. I know hes confused, I know he cares about me, I told him I felt he should stop seeing her, he cant. A big issue in our marriage that I JUST found out about was my weight. I gained alot, he said he didn't know how to tell me. Thats when all this started. Well since then I've been going to the gym and working out, as much for myself as for him, I don't feel good about myself (weight issue). This really bites the big one. Its hard to see someone you love do this. Well, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Me and the kids are going to be out quite abit if hes going over to her house all the time, IS THIS RIGHT??? I keep thinking about plan a/plan b.........How much does a person have to take?????

Troublec,<P>I don't know how much this will help, but here you go....<P>My H has moved in and out (I've lost track of the # by now) for the past almost 4 years. He loves me, still sees her, but he loves me, still sees her......endless. I finally filed for divorce, but never went through with it. Because he <B>finally</B> agreed to go to counseling with me and I hoped it would get better. <B>But</B>, as I found out during the time we were going to counseling together the OW was <B>still</B> living at his place. Poor thing, she didn't have <B>anywhere</B> else to go. Yeah, right. I didn't even know she had been living there. Stupid me (and I'm only flogging myself here) still let him move back in.<P>I know that she, at least, has still been contacting him. Don't know about his contacting her and I'm really beginning to not care. If I had it to do over again I would have left his sorry bu** out on the street (because he was 'RIFd' out of his position) and continued to improve myself and not slide backwards as I have.<P>Only you know your own heart. Can you do this? only you can answer that. <P>I still have many positive feelings towards my H, but they are getting fewer and far between. Yes, I feel that I have let myself be taken advantage of. No one to really blame but myself. Except he knows me all too well and also knows that I am the 'fixer' type. <P>I know that this hurts like he!! IMHO, and it is humble, I think you should start thinking of yourself and your children. I have seen how this has affected mine, but that's another personal guilt trip I'm not ready to take right now. Protect yourself, work on yourself, and if you decide that you want him back - only do it if <B>you</B> are ready.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>RC<BR>