A friend of mine was recently invited to work in China & accepted. As you can see this a very happy person. He is sending these e-mails to his friends (and he has MANY around the world); I want to share since I am sure some here can use a laugh (or at least a smile) after V Day.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR><B>...I want to be a good guest in their country and I want them to like me... I went looking for a book of Confucius sayings... I can be pretty profound in the western world but, who knows if they will appreciate my slightly irreverent approach towards life in China. What I found was that the pearls of wisdom we find in fortune cookies are extracted from elaborate writings. <P>"I was able to find one document of Chinese Proverbs... I feel that they have given me great insight to the Chinese mentality. I have memorized them and plan to use them as soon as I can. I though I would share them with you. "</B><BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><B>Chinese Proverbs </B><P>Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. <BR>Virginity like bubble, one [censored] all gone. <BR>Man who run in front of car get tired. <BR>Man who run behind car get exhausted. <BR>Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. <BR>Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. <BR>Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. <BR>Man with one chopstick go hungry. <BR>Man who scratches [censored] should not bite fingernails. <BR>Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. <BR>Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk. <BR>Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth. <BR>War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left. <BR>Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. <BR>Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. <BR>It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it. <BR>Man who drive like hell bound to get there. <BR>Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. <BR>Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. <BR>Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs. <BR>Man who farts in church sits in own pew. <BR>Man who drops watch in toilet has crappy time. <P>----------------------------------------------------<P><B>Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes </B><BR> <BR>Are you harboring a fugitive? -- Hu Yu Hai Ding? <BR>See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia An <BR>Small Horse -- Tai Ni Po Ni <BR>Did you go to the beach? -- Wai Yu So Tan? <BR>I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni <BR>I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat <BR>It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim? <BR>Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting? <BR>That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching <BR>I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching? <BR>This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King <BR>Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? -- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song? <BR>You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum <BR>I got this for free. -- Ai No Pei <BR>I am not guilty. -- Wai Hang Mi? <BR>Please, stay a while longer. -- Wai Go Nao? <BR>Our meeting was scheduled for next week. -- Wai Yu Kum Nao <BR>They have arrived. -- Hia Dei Kum <BR>Stay out of sight. -- Lei Lo <BR>He's cleaning his automobile. -- Wa Shing Ka <BR>Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu <P>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<P>SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?<P>ALEX

<P>Made my day thanks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>Peg

Hello there Alex<P>It was lovely thanks for this<BR> <P>Jenny<P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<BR>Paula Cole<P><BR>

Too funny. Thanks.