Hi All!<BR>I promised I would share any good news with you. I'm considering the possibility that this last development is good news.<P>My H supposedly has had no contact with the bimbo since late July. He promised me that he would tell me if he had any contact or even if the bimbo's name came up in conversation.<P>Last night he Volunteered information!!! <BR>This is the first time in all the years of this mess that he has volunteered info.<BR>Yesterday he was with a mutual friend of theirs. This guy mentioned that the bimbo had called him. He hadn't heard from her in a long time (probably since she was done with my H). The guy said she talked for a long time.<P>My H says he didn't comment or ask any questions so that was it. I don't know if this guy knows about the affair. H doesn't even know. H met him through the bimbo years ago. He is the only one in our town that she would visit. <P>I am a little nervous. If she hasn't called for a long time, is my H next? Is she missing this part of her life? Is she on her way back into our world? She is the one who initiated contact in the summer.<P>Now here's the part that disgusts me:<BR>This guy is married with kids. She didn't call and talk to his wife. She called him. Another married man who is her "friend" exclusive of the wife. She is exactly what I said she was all along. Why don't these guys see it? My H has admitted that she is this guy's friend, not his wife's. This bimbo is so predictable she makes me gag.<BR> <P>Anyway guys, keep your fingers crossed and pray that this is a good sign. I really am nervous and H hasn't done a lot build my trust when it comes to her. He did volunteer this info though so I am calling it good news.<BR>

Somehow, somewhere...he found a clue! <P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

FHL<BR>So you think this is a good sign <BR>I've been waiting so long I'm not sure what I'm looking for.<BR>I'm Very very tentative. You know how many lies I've found out about. This truth thing is a whole new scenario.<BR>So should I be nervous?<BR>Do you think he'll tell me this time if she calls him?<BR>The bad news is...He is going to visit a friend in BC for the weekend. Not sure I'm ready for that. I'll probably be begging you all for support.

WS,<BR>Yep........I would be too! I asked my H to tell me also, and I always wonder if she has, and he hasn't, or if she hasn't so he doesn't have to. You know what I mean. I ALMOST wish he could give me some information, so I know he is being honest with me, but I don't want him to need to! <BR>ANYWAY........another thing to see here, even though I feel sorry for the other man's wife is that, you see that this Bimbo is the CAUSE, the instigater! It's a shame they can't tell her where to get off. ?????? AND, NO,,,,,, I don't think your H is next. He has shown you a good quality that he has aquired now. Give him alot of credit and respect for that. Get in a good mood. Hold on to it.<P>Almost Happy<P>---------<BR>TIME

AH<BR>You read my mind don't you!!<BR>that is exactly what this is. I needed him to volunteer a truth like he should have last summer. I know the bimbo well enough that she isn't going to disappear. I knew that somehow her name would at least come up.<BR>I'm a little less tentative now that I've talked to you all. It is a good thing. It is what I needed. Another good anniversary to put on my caledar. The first time my H volunteered info. Now I feel like he is on my side.<P>I was very good. No LBs. Just very quietly asked how she was. He said he didn't know because he didn't act interested.<P>I really wonder a lot of things. Like if the guy was sent fishing by the bimbo...<BR>Ah well, I'm watching my back!<P>

WS - you are doing good.<P>Handled that situation, mighty fine, young lady.<P>I am not surprised the bimbo called either. And she might have been "fishing", and the bimbo probably will try some contact - even if not direct - but positioning herself to be "available".<P>Now, all this truth is overwhelming! We want it so bad, and then when we get it - it throws us off balance!!! eek! My husband called me tonight to tell me his boss invited him and 3 of the superintendents in town (they usually work a long ways away) if they wanted to go to the sleeze bar around the corner from the office for pizza (I didn't know they served pizza) and beer.... Actually, my husband said that he was invited for pizza and beer and omitted the part about the sleeze bar. So, I asked him if that is where they were going, (which I know they would it is the hang out) - and he answered yes, and said that he would come home if I wanted, instead.... WOW. That isn't my husband. I think I handled it pretty good, too.<P>So, give yourself an A for the day.<P>But...... I don't trust that bimbo. <P>I would love to see you (without lovebusters) express your fears to your husband, and still keep him safe to tell you the truth. How can you do this? I mean, those ole' I feel statements.... <P>It would be wonderful if he would acknowledge that the addiction that she has for him or for married men (I think she was fishing, myself) - is something that he needs to have a plan to succeed... He needs to know exactly how he will respond and anticipate her attempts of contact. <P>Too bad your husband's friend didn't tell her she was a slug and to jump off a short pier.<P>For you, I don't think you are out of line by being aprehensive. You get an A, your husband gets an A, but the real test is yet to come. And if he passes that with flying colors, and you do too, I think you will feel so much more better.<P>Make sure you keep us updated.<BR>tnt<P>PS, you have had many prayers for you in the last month, chickie!<BR>

WS,<BR> <BR>Good job!! I'm proud of both of you, you and your H!! He for telling and you for no lovebusters. By letting him know that he could come to you with sensitive information and by you not exploding,,he can feel safe to do it again if need be. <P>That's the really tough part. We dream of the day we can have meaningful discussions about the past or the OW and get questions answered. We want so badly for our spouse to be able to confide in us,,yet when these things occur, it's soooo hard to hold back your emotions and revert to old behavior. Congratulations to you on a job well done!! <P>As to whether she is going to worm her way back into your life?? I doubt it. He now knows how much you care and how much he hurt you. IF she tried, I'm hoping she'd be immediately put in her place. AND remember, she wouldn't get far now. YOU are no longer blind,,no longer oblivious. I have an idea that'd be one of the stupidest moves in her life!!

Wassi~<BR>I would definately take this as a good sign. If he really wanted to hide anything he wouldn't have told you a thing. He made an effort and you need to recognize it for what it is and give him the credit for this small miracle. BABY STEPS! He's taken a baby step and you must (like with all babies) make a big deal over this one so that he will continue to make those steps.<P>I am glad to hear this. I have been praying earnestly for you and think this is a good thing! Take it easy! God Bless!

TNT<BR>I think you are right on all accounts! Especially the part about the truths. I am very impressed with your H.<BR>The bimbo will always make me nervous. Remember when I said she is dangerous because she doesn't want a comitted relationship? She just needs her collection of men to keep her happy. That's why I have been so leary all along. I know how needy she is and how they all fall for it.<BR>My H's friend falls for the same act.<BR>Thanks for the prayers. You've had them on this end too.<P>Nerly<BR>You know how much your praise means to me.<BR>You know me well when you say it would be one of the stupidest moves she could make.<BR>I am nervous though. Will be for a while. This game has been going on too long. I know whe has never gone this long without making sure my H is still one of her caretakers.<BR>Watching my back!!!!!<BR>It isn't him I don't trust this time.<BR>Biting my tongue now. You know where it's going. <P>Bren<BR>Speaking of Baby steps how ya doin'?<BR>I'm walking a fine line here. I want to praise him but I don't want to go overboard either.<BR>Well he was rewarded for his honesty <BR>I just have to stay calm.<BR>He leaves tomorrow morning for his weekend. You know that's going to be tough but he does deserve a break after that last job. <BR>He hasn't spent time with the friend he's going to see in about 15 years.<BR>Gonna be a tough few days. But I'll be checking his voicemail while he's gone.<BR>maybe I'll even carry his cell phone. That would just shock her wouldn't it?<BR>Keep praying K? I have this funny feeling. And you know those feelings are way too often on target. She is just too transparent.<P>Love ya'll!!

Wassy, you're jumping and so is H!! <BR>Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>I'm glad I came here today!<BR>I know what you mean about needing to hear the truth without having to "fish for it".And I'm so glad that he's getting there.<BR>AS I keep saying, it takes time, but eventually the things we need start happening.<BR>Had a few breaktroughs myself this last weekend but I'll talk about them later. this post is for you.<BR>I'm also quite proud of you and the way you handled it. You go girl!<BR>Hugs<BR>Kat

Kat <BR>I'm so glad you stopped in too! <BR>I want to hear about your breakthroughs.<BR>I'm not sure I'm jumping. It feels a little like hops. Tiny bunny hops.<P>TNT<BR>I did express my fears to H last night. He left his cell phone with me. <P>Bren<BR>I made a bit of a big deal out of it last night. I told him that it was exactly what I needed him to do.<P>I did ask him if he would tell me if the friend mentioned bimbo was coming to town. He said he wasn't sure about that. I got firm and told him that I would expect him to. I explained that I needed to know if she was anywhere near because I have a right to make my own choices. It is humiliating to find out that she was right there and I wasn't aware of it. He seemed to understand this but I'm not sure if he meant it.<BR>He did say that it wasn't hard for him to tell this info to me. Another good sign! <BR>

wassi,<P>HONESTY! What a greatv gift!!!<P>Always know that Dr Harley says anyone can have an affair or another affair - so keep your eyes slightly propped open!<P>I wonder if she now has her sights set on this other MM, since she called him????<P>Roll Me Away<P><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Baby steps...

Wassi,<BR>That is a great step! I hope you remembered to reward him for telling you !<P>Like FHL said... he found a clue! I'm happy for you, truly happy.<P>B<P><P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Desiree<BR>Eyes are wide open and I'm thinking of having an extra set installed in the back of my head. <P>Unfortunately for the rest of us the bimbo has her eyes set on every man who is in existance. <BR>She really is a piece of work. Really, honestly, the one time my MIL met her she said "I'll have to keep my H away from that."<BR>Gag, gag gag!!!!<P>Lor<BR>Thanks <BR>Think we'll ever live normally?<BR>What is normal?

Butterfly<BR>Posting at the same time. <BR>Yes he found a clue. Let's hope he doesn't lose it. We've seen that happen before.<BR>I really like the convent idea sometimes.<BR>