I have been on this forum since summer. Sometimes I wonder why I keep returning since it will be 3 years this month my H and I have been in recovery. Most of you are in the throws of it all and Oh I remember so well the agony. I felt that dying would be the only end to my pain. Well, I survived and yet I ask myself why I'm still hanging around to read and respond to all this pain. <BR>They say that it takes 1 year for every year of the affair for recovery to really take place. I have read that in many of the books suggested. My H was in the EA over 11 years. I hope no one has to find out they had been living a lie for that long. <P>I find great comfort in all of the hindsight i receive from your posts. I went through the brunt of it alone and I find from your experiences that I wasn't crazy or a psycho or vindictive. I was trying to survive. I hope I can help someone out like you've helped me. My posts have been few. Am currently posting mostly on the Women's Prayer forum. My posts aren't responded to as wholeheartedly as most and I guess you all don't know what to do with me. Maybe you don't want to face the fact that some of us take a looooooong time to get beyond this thing. At any rate I have been wanting to explain myself for some time, so now I've done it. <P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>

Taj,<P>I have myself just joined in late September.<P>I, for one, greatly appreciate people who have gone through the whole process. I ask... I beg... stay around for us a while.<P>Your insight is bound to lift the spirits of even just one of us (even if it's only for one day.) <P>I thank you for coming back.<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...

Taj - from my narrow little world view, you are here because I have needed many of the wise words you have shared with me.<P>Of course, when the time comes for you to stop posting on Infidelity, we will lovingly say goodbye and God Bless -- but you can stay involved at the prayer and Bible study forums, right?<P>Liz\Pearl<P><P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

You must think I'm a lightweight. My H only had a 4 week kissy face thing last Christmas and although our recovery is going well and our marriage is more intimate because of the hard work...it still causes me pain, or at least is THERE.<P>The intense stuff diminished in about five months, but the idea of it is hard to push aside. <P>I'm much better, but apparently one year is not doing it. If I could go on another year and have the down days even diminish in frequency (now a couple a month or six weeks), I'll take it. I've read the two year recovery time somewhere.<P>Taj, my heart goes out to you. You have so much to contribute. Thank you for being here.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Jim, Liz, FHL,<P>Thanks for your responses. I needed to come alongside a bit closer and I feel like that has taken place. It gets a bit lonely on this side of the screen sometimes. The three of you I know well through your inspired posts, now maybe you know me a little better.<P>I'm glad to hear I can stay awhile longer for I still need to feel understood and weep with those who weep.<P>Thanks again, Cathy<P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>

Taj, stay on the forum. My posts aren't really responded to either. I guess that's a good sign. Seems as if when things are the worst more people are able to relate. While I'm still seperated and my H has moved to another city, we see each other at least every two weeks and the time together is great. I'm beginning to believe we may be in the initial stages of recovery, but I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel I belong here any longer either, but I enjoy posting whether or not anyone replies.

I have never responded to you before, I am relatively new but from what the other's posted on your topic you offer a lot of sound advice and support.<P>About your post: WOW!!! 11 year EMA. The year I got married I found out my mom had a 10 year affair with my dad's bussiness partner. They tried to patch things up right away but lacked the skills to do that. Last fall after being separated and divorced for 9 years (with relationships on both sides during) they reconciled and seem to be doing well. So, in their case it almost was 1 year for every year of the affair, but I don't know if that is the case with everybody that has experienced a long term affair.<BR>I hope you do stay in the forum, any support is good for you and for us.<BR>God bless you!!! <P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<BR>

Thanks everyone! You're a great bunch of cheerleaders, I'm staying put. <P>Nicole, what a great story of reconciliation for your Mom and Dad. It must be really tough to find your way back together after that long of a separation. Sounds like they were always meant to be.<P>You know there is still no one place where we can go to get honesty and understanding like MB. Thanks Dr. Harley.......<P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>