My first marriage ended in divorce after my wife's affair, which was off and on for 3 years. After 6 years, I remarried. My current wife had a friend from work she used to date socially before she knew me. She had toyed with a romantic involvement, but decided against it. He was much more interested than she; but she kept it as a casual friendship.<P>When I came in the picture, he became aloof from her; gradually, he came around and acted friendly towards her again. They have occasionally gone out for drinks together.<P>Recently, my wife and I were estranged. On one occasion during this period, she told me she was going out to the movies with him; then changed her mind, went to dinner with him, and they took a walk together. When I asked her if she talked with him about our problems, she admitted that she discussed it with him "at a general level".<P>We have since patched things up, but I have recently admitted to her that I am uncomfortable with her seeing this person socially, where it is just the two of them. I actually like this person, and have no problems with her seeing him socially in a group context. But it feels like "dating" to me, and it makes me uncomfortable, particularly in light of my past experience. My wife tells me she has absolutely no attraction to this person, and truthfully, I believe her. I believe he is just a friend to her. But I do not think she is the same to him -- and she admits he "hits on every woman he knows". But what concerns me most of all is that she would discuss our relationship with him. She thinks that I want to place restrictions on her speech; I think, there are just some limits to what members of the opposite sex should discuss when they are married to someone else.<P>I have not demanded that she not see this person alone, nor will I. Am I being unreasonable, though, in asking her not to? Controlling? Is it unfair for me to expect that she would not talk with him about our troubles?
