<BR>I have decided to go head first into plan A and yesterday was my first day. I was doing so well and when we went to bed I wanted my H to hold and touch me so desperately that I said me really stupid things out of hurt. Okay, where's the duck tape? Pray for me. I said if I was OW you'd have no problem touching me, and this am I apologized but I did the damage last night. Please pray for us.

It is so hard to get started on Plan a and keeping with it. Once you do start is is easy to mess up, but just start again. It will get like second nature after awhile. <P>I too want to be held and cuddled and wonder if I was the OW he would turn to me. I lie there in bed with him so close yet so untouchable. It does hurt. I try to understand that he is hurting too. <P>I know this seems so unfair. But they miss the OP. They are fighting their own feelings. They look at you and think that because of you they are here and not there with the OP.<P>I try to keep smile though my H somtimes doen't look me in the face. But he is home and he has not been here for 4 months. I am trying my dam$$est to make him see, I can be the wife he wants me to be. We can have the marraige of our dreams. We already have a great foundation....our 3 kids.<P>Just remember a positive response is most likely to get a positive response and a hurtful reponse gets a hurtful one back. I look back at some of the things I had said to my H and wonder how I would feel if he said that to me. I would be hurt. <P>Even though they have hurt us, and they probably know it in their heart...we are the ones to be strong. Keep smiling and go on.<P>Keep up plan A!! and good luck.

Boy how I can relate. I did the same thing last night (just with different Love Busters). My h has been home since the 1st from a month long separation. I want to feel loved so much. I am trying so hard to be everything he needs. It would be so much easier if I knew. I can't wait until he can focus on us and see all the good changes I have made in me. I love him so much.<P>Just hang in there Regina and I will pray for you too. I know all to well the feelings you are going through.<P>Stac<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <A HREF="http://journeys.webprovider.com" TARGET=_blank>http://reflect.to/journeys</A> <P> <P>

this message has been edited by Claudia103<p>[This message has been edited by Claudia103 (edited March 12, 2000).]

This is the hardest part. Ask him about his day, tell him, he is in your prayers let him talk to the kids and let them let out their pain too, we are not the only one in pain our children are being torn apart too and they are the innocents.Do this in a joyful spirit even though you are torn apart inside, it is hard to do but it will help you in the long run, after he hangs up each time go immediately into prayer, and pray for him to be burdened by what he is doing and pray for him to come home, but look into your own heart firstand ask God to start changing your hubby by changing you irst, then hubby will see the new you and the feelings he had will come back, this is my prayer and I will keep you in mine, regina

I am praying very much. I'm still in shock. I guess I thought there would be some kind of warning. Not "Ilove you" everyday, affection, making plans for spring break with the kids, smiles, talking every night and then BOOM! He looks like he's possessed and says he is disconnected from me and the kids and is not exactly sure why!!! How many horrible things must I have done to engender this type of behavior. This is a smart man. What the heck happened? I am still praying. We are all praying. It's like there is an evil spirit at work. How is it that there is soooooooomuch of this in our society???????

Regina Engel,<P>Do hit yourself over the head about falling off the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> band wagon. It will happen many many times.<P>Just... apologize to your H (yes... it will make you the "bigger" person)... and continue with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>.<P>Claudia103...<BR>Yes... ask about his day... ask whatever doesn't hurt him... Be his W still... he'll need to know that when he has to make a very important decision later on in his life. Don't give him an opportunity to think... "she wasn't acting as my wife."<P>Prayers for you both... <P>Jim