I found solid evidence that my H friend is more than a friend. I asked him about this and he still denies it. Big LB I know but I need the truth and I need it now.<P>Well another LB I bought a telephone device and have H and OW taped. He figured out what I had done but not how. So the next time she called he told her they were being taped and she got somewhat mad and asked him if he was ok. Well at the end of the conversation she said she loved him and he said it didn't matter that I heard it because I now knew about them. <P>Is he crazy. I have known about them for six months and he has been denying it every time something happens that obviously tells me that he is seeing her. Or does he think I am crazy enough to believe it.<P>Now comes the big twist. Last night we got into an arguement about the OW. He said our marriage was not good before her and she is not the problem now. What a joke. I said she wasn't to blame for our problems but she is causing us not to be able to even try and work on things. He doesn't see it this way.<P>So he went out and got drunk. When he came home he said he was so sorry for everything and passed out. Well this morning he again was telling me he didn't hate me and he hoped I didn't hate him. I said I didn't hate him only I hated what he was doing to me and our marriage. I said it was like he was two different people. He hugged me and told me he cared. Well this threw me for a loop. Now not to get too deep but the hugging continued and he initiated love making. I am know wondering if this was a mistake or is it a sign that he really does still care. <P>I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to be used and I am afraid that tonight he will go out and be with the OW. (she has been out of town and will be back tonight)<P>Thoughts HElp??????

I read your post earlier but did not know how to respond. But as I thought about it I realized the best advice I ccan give you is to really think about what you want. I don't mean do you want your marriage or not but rather what are you willing to give up for it.<P>I say this because your H is confused. He will contiue to put you on this roller coaster and I guarentee it will be a rough ride. So how far do you want to go with it. Set limits. It will keep you sane.<P>My advice is to not sacrifce your self-respect to his poor behavior. Try reading "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson. It might help.<P>Good luck and hang in there.<P>Acacia