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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 18
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 18 |
I need to better understand what I did to let this happen and what I need to do now to correct things. My H says I was too emotionally volitile for him and the OW was more reserved. (Fortunately, he eventually found her shallow and boring.) I'd like to take his observation to heart though. I am learning about the value of calm, clear headed decision making and forgiving him by not bringing up the past. I try to let go of the anger and to avoid letting him see the tears. What have others experienced in seeing the part they played in letting this tragedy happen?
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 3,467
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 3,467 |
I took my husband forgranted...plain and simple. I got wrapped up in being a mother and forgot that I was also a wife. I didn't take into consideration his need for recreation with me and for sex. I thought he would never turn to someone else. Look where that got me. He's now living with her and I'm fighting like hell to keep my sanity and get him back.
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,749
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Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,749 |
<BR> Well, I'm the opposite, never let my feeling show. And I beleive that contributed to the problems in our relationship. I am working on the Book. How One Of You Can Bring The Two Of You Together by Susan Page.<BR>It works through both expressing your feelings in a respectful way and controlling your anger if you have problems with that. Tou might try it and see if it helps you.<BR>Lora
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,965
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Member
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,965 |
It is wonderful to examine what role you played in making your marriage vunerable.<P>However, be careful. Since you can not control what another does, you did not "let" anything happen.<P>Your H's actions where his alone. Only he can control what he does or does not act on.<P>The affair is not your fault. Don't take the blame. <P>Your thoughts, words and actions involving your marriage are yours to work on. These are what you are accountable for.<P>By the way, that book is by Susan Page and it is great!<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13
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