I just need to talk...I am having a bad day. I have decided to let H come home after the entire Maui fiasco. I posted that he has erased her name from his cell phone, but her info is still on his palm pilot and i just downloaded yahoo messenger and she is on it. I know he uses it we chatted last week on it. He swears he has no more contact with her, but since last weeks begging to come home episode he has found a new job, where we will be able to commute together, and he has been more affectionate with me. He still has his physical problem so he doesn't want to be physically intimate and last night I asked if we could eat dinner at the table instead of in front of the TV, I started the conversation about a girlfriend of mine and some random issue she was having, and he hurried up finished eating and then started doing the dishes, finally he came back to the table and looked pained sitting there. He all but ran to the TV and ignored me the rest of the night. Today he is working, yesterday he worked, so he is still running, will tell me he loves me, an occasional kiss, but can't be home alone with me. Will go to store with me, I haven't mentioned anything, no LBusting here. I am just very very sad today. He has to work tomorrow and has dinner plans with some clients tomorrow night, I have tomorrow off. It's yet another day I spend alone. I am just so tired of being alone...

Chris,<P>I know what lonely feels like. I’m home alone day after day. H’s job keeps him gone. He used to come home once every 2 or 3 months, then started coming home every other weekend. I don’t know if he spends so much time here because he wants to be with me or if it’s so he’ll be closer to OW. (She lives in town close by)<P>I’m wondering away from the subject here... Lonely is a state of mind. Find something you enjoy and the time will pass quickly. Is there a book you’ve been wanting to read? A movie you like and he isn’t interested in seeing? Do you enjoy window shopping in a antique store? (Or any store) Some other ideas to kill time: detail your car - have your hair done - get a pedicure (improves even the worst day!) - write a letter to someone you owe a letter too - clean out a closet (it’s kind of like Christmas when you find all those things you forgot you had). <P>Decide that you’ll enjoy this time to yourself with no one to bother you. Enjoy the day! <P>This is really important: Smile and be happy, it'll make him wonder what you're up to. It's human nature to be drawn to a happy person.<P>Keo<p>[This message has been edited by Keosha (edited February 20, 2000).]