I was all ready to VENT this morning but the wind just went out of my sails!!!<P>I give up! I have no more fight in me, I don't care anymore!!!<P>We had our financial discussion last night after D went to bed.<P>OH he's being very generous,but I'll still have to cut back. What did I work at 22yrs of marriage for. Not this........<P>I was not good at no LB, but i'm tired of being Ms(halfway) nice guy! <P>He still can't tell me why he did it, he just doesn't know why. I have this overwhelming need to know why.<P>I'm sick and I'm tired and I just don't want to fight for something that isn't there.<P>I don't even know why I'm here(on the board) anymore. Right now I'm so low I can't even think about taking care of myself, I just plain give up.............<P>Don't talk to me about medication, I'm on it but it's only been 2 wks. takes three to take affect. <P>So I guess I'll just roll along in my stuper and hope I'll be able to pick up the pieces again soon.<P>I even feel God has let me down.(sorry) I left it in his hands and look at where I'm at??? <P>Isn't the betrayer suppose to hit rock bottom not the betrayed??<P>I'll stop my rambling now I'm sure noone wants to hear this anyway, there's a lot of people out there with worse problems than me.<P> <P>------------------<BR>Peg

((((((Peggy))))))))<P>My heart goes out to you. I know you must feel terribly lost right now and very confused. I know you've said you want to work it out before. Let me just encourage you to stay in the fight, don't give up. I understand how you must feel that God has let you down, but honestly Peggy, this is the time when if you allow Him, you will feel His presence the most. He will never forsake you. The fastest way to His grace is surrender.<P>Think for a moment about Abraham and Issac. Issac was a gift from God, part of the covenant that God established with Abraham. God had promised Ab that he would be the father of many generations. Then He asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac, his only link to generations. Abraham obediantly took Issac to the place where he was to make a sacrifice. Issac even asked, "Father, where is our sacrifice?" Abraham trusted God so completely, he answered,"the Lord will provide it." He trusted so much that he drew his blade before the angel of the Lord stopped him.<P>Is God calling us to a higher level of trust, without question. Can we trust Him so completely. He tells us the faith of a mustard seed will move mountains. He tells us to pray with out cessing, with thanksgiving in our hearts. Thanksgiving can only come about if what we are praying for comes to pass, yet he tells us to pray with thanksgiving in advance. We need to pray in accordance for his will though. But that need not be gray and undefined. Some would say that Romans 8:28 is an excuse to accept whatever happens as God's will. Not so. He certainly doesn't will us into sin. But it is clear throughtout scripture the importance God places on the family. It is also clear, His purpose for forgiveness and reconciliation, that is what Christian faith is all about, reconciliation of the sinner to our God. That is the point of Jesus. So we can rest in assurance that God will watch over us and protect us. The truth is, the gift that He gives us, free will, he gives to all. When I read Romans 8:28 I see that He can even use the worst of circumstances to bring about good.<BR>God won't make your H come back, He respects the free will that He gave him. But you can rest assured that God will be working in his life to convict him and bring him back. Your job is to pray...for you H, for you and your family and surrender yourself to God's Grace.<P>Place your trust in Him and let the God who knows you (psalm 139) do His work in you. <P>------------------<BR>Fear God and you will have nothing else to fear<P>Hosea 3

Repenting:<P>Thanks I needed that!!!!!!!<BR>(Now I think my commputer dislikes me. It seems to have slowed way down.) Some days you just can't get a break.<BR>------------------<BR>Peg<p>[This message has been edited by Peggy (edited February 22, 2000).]

Hi Peggy,<P>I'm sorry you (or any of us) have to go through this pain. My husband and I were married 22 years when he had his affair, too. Can we all say 'midlife crisis' in unison?<P>We are now in recovery, but I wanted you to know that my husband still says he doesn't know why he did it, and I really believe him. It was just so out of character for him to do something like this. The only explanation he can come up with is the middle-age ego thing, and I absolutely believe it.<P>Please don't wonder why you are still here. You are here because most people here have been through the infidelity mess, and at a time like this you need all the support you can get. Family and friends mean well, but noone can relate like we can.<P>Keep coming, there will always be someone here (unfortunately) to listen and commiserate with you.<P>Best wishes,<P>Peppermint