I am new to the board so please be patient if I don't get all the acronyms correct. =)<P>My BF and I begun our relationship online about 2 1/2 years ago. Emails every day and then phone calls and then the daily visits. We were in the "honeymoon" stage and did everything fun and right and what not.<P>A few months later I came up pregnant and I chose to have the baby cause the preceding weeks before I got pregnant my BF had been telling me that he loves me and that one day he will marry me. I had even asked him and he said yes but after he found out that I wouldn't get an abortion, he took it all back.<P>I did stay with him and I did have the baby. He instantly became a great father but still had a problem with my first two children from a previous marriage.<P>We fought constantly and me not being employed didn't help things any better. In Dec. of last year I used his JcPenny card and ordered some christmas presents online for the kids and for him. He found out about it about a month or so later and just lost it. The next few weeks sucked and he made sure to let me know it. <P>One night, around Valentine's day, he told me that he doesn't love me. Never did. Never will. He told me that he wanted to live on his own and know what it's like to be carefree and party and screw anyone that he wanted. I would say I love You to him and he would respons with "I like you, too". I would kiss him at night when we went to bed and he would not respond. He would just lay there and roll over.<P>After a while we sorta called it quits between one another and started looking for other ppl. I didn't really look but someone just sorta fell into my life on accident. In the mean time my BF had found a woman and they dated, sort of, for about a month. I continued spending time with my new friend. Talking online for hours at end and seeing one another in person.<P>The OM and I didn't kiss for about 3 weeks after we met and didn't have intercours until a few more weeks after. I kept telling my BF that he was just a 'friend' and that there's nothing going on. Isn't that what we all say?<P>Things moved on and when my BF found out about the relation and the extent of it, he went into a frenzy. Begging and pleading and sending me poems and just not being himself.<P>I moved out into my sister's house but my BF just sorta followed along, and I let him. All the while, still seeing the OM. I eventually moved into my ex hubby's home cause my sister was going to be moving soon and the BF came with me. <P>I told my BF that I had cut all ties with the OM and told him that I don't see or talk to him anymore. But, again, it was all lies. It was like I couldn't get enough of the OM. Even lying to my family about it all. Like an addiction I couldn't kick. <P>The guilt was getting to be too much for me. A few nights ago I laid in bed and told my BF that I have been reading the OM's online journals and reading how much he cared for me and stuff and that it was too much for me to handle. The next day, my BF found the journal and read them. I came home from work that night and me and the BF left to get some grub. He pulled me aside to give me a hello hug then whispered into my ear "Don't talk to him anymore, I know you have been". I was like, whoa...absolutely floored and immediately beging to get upset. I was caught and it's all blowing up in my face. My BF had called my sister and gosh knows who else.<P>I'm not sure how long I thought I could've kept it up. but, I did know that it had to end asap with the OM. He did make me feel good and provided for me and my kids and cared for all of us, but he wasn't the father of my child. Just someone that I've been seeing for the past 6 months. It had to end somehow and someway.<P>Yesterday, my BF stayed home from work and we had many conversations throughout the day. My BF had read in the last few journal entries that I was trying to break if off with OM, but was having a hard time with it. I even called the OM to tell him what was going on and my BF and the OM talked for a few. Or argued, for a few I should say. <P>As soon as I got the energy to get up (I have been ill) I got online and starting reading through the many forum messages and what not. I knew what I had to do and now was the time to do it.<P>I called my BF over and had him sit with me while I wrote my letter to the OM. I wrote a long letter telling him how wrong I have been and how I need to continue thinking of the kids first and what have you. I didn't do the "I'll always think of you" or the "I'll miss you" stuff, like I read that you shouldn't. I just told it like it was and requested 100% no contact.<P>I know that he will do it and I know that, in time, it'll all pass. It'll be hard to get over the OM. But I do have the support of my family and my BF to do it all with. I know that there will be withdrawel. I just need to know how to deal wih it all.<P>Anywho, that's my story. Thanks for listening and look for me a lot the next few weeks while I get over this man and rediscover the love that me and my BF have for one another<P>~*~<BR>Digital TLC<P>------------------<BR>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<BR>"Life is like a shooting star, it don't matter who you are, if you only run for cover~it's just a waste of time"<BR>+Live+<BR><A HREF="http://tisha.addr.com" TARGET=_blank>attachment</A> <BR>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<BR>

Welcome <B>digitaltlc</B> to the Marriage Builders - Infidelity Forum.<P>The people here represent both betrayed spouses and betrayers alike and the occasional Other Woman/Man/Person (OP/OW/OM).<BR><B>All</B> of us are really here to try and build or rebuild our marriages... and we are trying to use principles and concepts that are espoused by Dr. Willard Harley of Marriage Builders(MB).<P>--------------------------<BR>I'm not quite sure from your story how your ex-H fits into this... but you seem to have developed a "marital" relationship with your BF(boyfriend)... is this a "marriage"? in some or every sense of the word?... will it be a "marriage"?<P>Marriage Builders <B>is</B> for building "relationships" and "individuals"...<BR>--------------------------<P>Back to my welcome message...<P>There is a wealth of information here at this site, starting from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/" TARGET=_blank>Marriage Builder's Home Page</A>.<P>If you're new to the ideas being presented here at MB start off with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A><P>Many of us need to start immediately working on our marriages(relationships) and a <B>sound</B> understanding of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A> is crucial!<P>You'll see a barrage of "terms" which you might guess the meaning of... but an alternative is to look up what they mean at this site... Words like (click on them to find out):<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_give.html" TARGET=_blank>Giver and Taker</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>.<P>You'll need to learn more about, not just marriage(relationship) building... but self building too! The learning isn't going to happen overnight though... look at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8100_article.html" TARGET=_blank>Articles</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>Infidelity Q&A</A>.<BR>The real learning is best aided by obtaining some of the books from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6000_bookstore.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Bookstore</A>... of most important for those who have affairs in progress (wayward or betrayed), is <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley. <B>This is the 'bible' for this forum.</B><BR>Other books can be very useful as well... like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank>"Love Busters"</A>.<BR>There will be many other good books that the MB people will recommend... take their advice... they've been around.<P>Most of all... you will find <B>compassion</B> and <B>love</B> here. No judging... no demeaning... no malice here!<BR>No matter what the situation...<P>You are <B>not alone</B> in giving up the OM(OP)... there are many who are going through it as well.<P>Post... Post... Post... Reply... Reply... Reply... READ! READ! READ!<P>Join us here... <BR>Welcome again!<P>Jim

DigitalTLC,<P>I'm very proud of you for posting on this board. You are moving in the right footsteps just please keep it up and don't lose hope. We're all here to support you.<P>I'm sure you're BF is there to support you as well. He wouldn't have stuck around through all the pain if he didn't care and truely love you. It seems like your BF realizes he made a mistake and he's doing his best to rectify the situation.<P>NSR had mentioned some great links that you should take some time reading, and don't forget to read the "Give and Take" book with your BF which I bet he'll be happy to do.<P>Always look at the positive. Don't look at what you might have lost, but what you can gain from the man you loved and still love - the father of your wonderful baby boy.<P>Hang in there. <P>Joey (lostandbroken)