Hi All,<P>Today I had a session with Steve Harley. He enthusiasticly co-signed all of the plans I'm working on...seperation that sort of thing...<P>He reminded me that I still have to think like I am married. He said I may want to wear my ring to remind myself of this fact..He also said that in plan-b I shouln't even read any letters W may write...Have my intermediary read them then give me a sumary..<P>We talked about alot of details, that I don't care to get into here, I just wanted to share the highpoint with you all..<P>I am wearing my ring, because I am a married man...<P>Bill<P>"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I'm very happy for you, Bill... and a bit jealous, truth be told. You know what you want, you've never wavered from that, and you are doing whatever necessary to achieve it!<P>Take care!

My wedding ring set has been off for a couple of months now. My H took his off the first week of seperation. He still has a indention on his finger where ring use to be after almost 5 months and I still have a indention too. Sometimes I try to adjust my rings and they are not even on. I really miss wearing them and have thought about putting them back on.<P>I had this romantic notion if H and I could work this out he would put them back on for me. He moved back home 3 weeks ago though most of his things are still at his mom's.<P>So Maybe i should just start wearing them again, or would it put too much pressure on him?<P>Good luck.....I really like reading about how you are doing..........hang in there.

Bill, <BR>I put my rings back on New Year's day. I don't wear them all the time. Like when I go for job interviews just too difficult to explain. But the rest of the time I wear them. Since I am still in plan A I sure would like to see the response I get when H sees them on but so far I haven't seen him. (Plan Aing through the mail). However, this might change Grandson's birthday party is this weekend and he is suppose to be here. We are married too bad our spouses don't remember that. Good luck on your plan B glad you talked to Steve hoped it helped. Lots of{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} for you and your D.<P>------------------<BR>di<P><p>[This message has been edited by SDS (edited February 22, 2000).]

Sheryl,<BR>I wish I really felt that way. Most days I'm flying by the seat of my pants. Thank you though. I do my best.<P>My3kids,<BR>Hang in there, none of this is fun. Give your H some time.<P>di,<BR>Thanks for the hugs, bet o luck to you when you see your H.<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hey Bill,<P>Sounds like the session went well for you. Great! <P>Gotta share a story with ya. We were at a local hospital transfering a patient [32 yo female] and she had quite a bit of luggage. So, I take the two suitcases out to the truck. [Positive Samsonite Sign] For some reason before I left the house today, I went up and put on my ring. My partner tells me later that the patient thought I was cute and it was too bad I was married.<P>CUTE? God in Heaven above. I'm 39 going on 60 and this woman calls me cute. I would go for lovable, charming, delightful, adorable, darling, precious, cherished, dear and sweet but not cute.<P>Hang on, where was I going with this? Oh, Yeah, I hate onions.<P>Why can't Val or Robin see this? Me Val you Robin, just in case there is any confusion.<P>Zip

Hey Bill,<P>great news.<P>It's strange, I looked at my wedding ring today, which I haven't worn since I left in Sept. and thought about putting it back on.<BR>I didn't though. I just couldn't.<P>However, the fact that I'm even thinking about it blows my mind. I actually gave it to oldest d to 'play' with at one stage, lost it for a while under some furniture, and then found it again, and put it away.<BR>It is the only one I have, after all. maybe it will be the only one I WILL have.<P>I'm glad your's is back where it belongs.<P>big, big, and bigger hugs to you<P>Jo

Bill,<P>I quit wearing my wedding ring for about a month, and then last weekend I put it back on. I thought,"I'm still married, even though he wants a divorce." I guess it hurt more to NOT see it on my finger. I kinda felt naked without it.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Keridwen, <BR>I am about where you are. It hurts not to have it on. But mine is off. He took his off Dec 28, mine was not taken off til Jan 28, when he chose OW over me. It still hurts. I hate it all. <P>Bill, <BR>Good for you, you have a good outlook on this all. <BR>Dana<BR>

Bill, <P>The real message was - that even if you are in plan B, remember to act as if you are married, because you still are.<P>Good post.<P>TNT

I don't even have that option! My H took my ring and the certification papers for the diamond when he left. I told him I wanted the ring back last night and he laughed at me. <P>I have decided not go give him anymore of his stuff from the house till I get my ring back. I told him it was a gift from him to me and that he had no right to take it. <P>Bill, I'm glad you are wearing yours again. Good luck!

I haven't worn my ring since shortly after I found out about H's affair.<P>He wears his now, but didn't before and during his affair.<P>I will never wear those rings again. The sybolize a bad marriage and I want no part of that marriage back.<P>I occassionally will wear my grandmother's wedding ring when I am going to be in a situation where I feel a ring on my finger will protect me, because I am in no way looking for male attention.<P>I agree that we need to consider ourselves marriage until the bitter end, and if wearing the ring of an outward sign to remind us is necessary someone then I think it is good idea.<P>I feel I would be much worse off if I wore mine because of the bitterness and pain they cause me. I am trying so hard to put all of the bad years behind me and do my best to appreciate the here and now, my rings symbolize the bad past and the old me.

Good for you, Bill.<BR> <BR>Deut

Bill: Hold your head high and wear that ring proudly. I wish my H would have proudly worn his ring years ago <P>Truth be told, when I first saw your message topic I thought you were "like my H". Let me explain: We've been married forever and he's NEVER worn his ring, ever. Didn't even keep it on for the entire wedding reception. But, once I found out about his affair (which is now over...I think/hope/pray/been led to believe..sigh), he's been wearing it SOLIDLY. Of course I threw it at him and said something like, "You're wearing it from now on, whether you like it or not, if you plan to continue sleeping next to me"....so much for threats, ultimatums, scare tactics,etc. <P>Of course I know what everyone is going to say, "the ring doesn't keep 'em from cheating...if they're gonna cheat, they're gonna cheat..." Yea, I get that. But maybe, just maybe, it will remind him of what's waiting for him back in his bed.<P>Here's hoping it makes a difference. ~Marie

Zippy,<BR>Stay away from those cute samsonite onions???<P><BR>Jo,<BR>Thanks for the hugs...Keep your ring where you can find it...<BR>I'm glad your back on the boards...We missed you<P>Dana,<BR>It's all I can do to maintain a good outlook..I have a wonderful support group here...You all have literaly carried me through this...<P><BR>Keridwen,<BR>That's exactly right you are still married, regaurgless of what your spouce is doing..<P>TnT,<BR>Yes I am...and I started to forget that...<P><BR>Teddy Bear,<BR>Sorry to hear your husband took your rings...That illustrates how incensitive they can be...<P>Essyboo,<BR>You do make a valid point, however there are alot of great memories behind my ring...<P>Thanks Deut<P>Marie,<BR>Thanks for the sentiments<BR>I'm glad your H went for that tactic, my W wouldn't...LOL<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

William glad to hear you have the courage to wear your rings! I wish I did. My H hasn't been wearing his ring for quite awhile now. He tried to 'remember' to wear it in the fall, but I found myself constantly reminding him. Now he won't wear it because he wants out and moved out last week. I took mine off last month after the 20th time of hearing 'I want out'. I will never forget that I am married. I wish I could wear my rings. For me the rings symbolise my acceptance of the love of the person who gave them to me. I guess until he wants me to wear them I can't. Best of luck to you William.

Well, I'm wearing the new diamond band my H gave me for Christmas, but I can't really say that I consider it a wedding ring, as my H has made it plain that he does not want to renew our vows, even though he told my counselor that he had no problem with doing that.<P>He also hasn't followed through with the idea of our dating (without always dragging other people along) or going to church or much of anything. Basically, all he's doing is trying to be nice and talk to me with respect, although he does do quite a bit of love-busting, which I try to ignore or react to in a non-lovebusting manner.<P>