First of all, please calm down. Your husband is NOT going to get your kids and the Judge isn't going to even listen to some attorney saying that two parents are better then one. First of all, when your in a divorce proceeding or a custody battle he isn't even re-married so he CAN'T bring another person into it. Just because he says he's going to be married to her does not mean a thing! And, does she have children? If she does and plans on having them live with her a Judge does not want to make kids go through a divorce and then have INSTANT sibling to deal with. Believe me, I know because I went through a very long and painful custody battle. My ex was fighting that he was in a house (with his girlfriend) and they were going to marry so my kids would have two parents in the home. He lost BIG time. Why? Well I too had a home but it was MY house, not a boyfriends house. Ex was living with his girlfriend. Say he were to get custody and the break up. Then what? His kids loose a home along with him and move again? Not good. She also had two boys living with her 100% of the time. My son who was the eldest of my two would go from being the big brother to a middle child, instant older brothers. The court felt introducing my kids too instant siblings would be awful on them emotionally. Also (and this is the biggest reason I won), the kids had been living with me for a year during our seperation. The parent that has custody during seperation is 95% likely to win unless they are unfit. The courts also interviewed daycare providers, schools and counselors. I came out as being a very good parent in all interviews. They interviewed our two kids that loved both mom and dad but explained that I had always been the parent most involved. The parent that did the baths, brushed the teeth, read the stories, made the dinners etc...Dad was there for play time. Another big check mark for me was the fact that I encouraged visitation with their father and always wanted him to be a big part in their life. During interviews they had all kinds of questions. One question to me was if I could improve in my parenting skills? My answer was this "Absolutely! Nobody is perfect." Then I went on to explain how I felt as a parent and how I felt about my children. My ex told her that he was perfect and felt there was no room for improvement. Custody evaluator almost laughed. Then in court he was angry, bitter and mouthed off. Not good. He came back as lacking parenting skills. His girlfriend could not pass the personality tests. What I'm trying to tell you is that sometimes one good parent is much better then two off balanced parents. Calm down, love your children and DO NOT bad mouth their father! I will try to help you in any way that I can and I want to tell you that just because he's threatening custody doesn't mean he will go through it. Most courts make you go through mediation first to try and settle your differences and that works for most couples. Also, if he finds out how expensive it it and how slim his chances are he may back off. I also doubt that his ow really wants to raise your children. How many do you have and how old are they? Anyhow, good luck and again....take some deep breaths and relax. You'll be ok.

BonnieSept<P>Thank you for the reply! You did make me feel so much better. What you said makes perfect sense. I am concerned for myself because I with held visitation for 2 weeks, because I didn't want the kids exposed to OW. Basically, it was one month after he left, and a week after he claimed he was coming home. So all in all, I may look bad on that point.<P>I have 3 girls, 8,7, 2. The oldest was never good enough for her dad, and oddly she is the one who is making efforts to see him. The middle, was his favorite, won't have anything to do with him. The baby is too young to know.<P>I did get a support check today, so all in all, he must have been warned.<P>Thanks again, I will be in touch. I am so stressed I can barely think today! Dana<BR>