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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 840
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 840 |
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?!?!<P>Today was NOT a bad day. It was normal(as normal as things can be right now. <P>Arik and I talked and he told me that he WILL keep all conversations with OW as work and work only...I can't help thinking "where have I heard this before?" I want to beleive him and he does sound more assured. He was very clear that this was someting he was going to do his best at not just try and do his best at, and yet...<P>I just feel so sad. There have been so many lies as to slip-ups and his actual commitment to me. I feel like we are starting all over again and the last 2 months of h#l# were a waste of time.<P>I know this is a pity party but I just am so sad that I needed to get it out, sorry.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<BR>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 924
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 924 |
No such thing as a pity party. Just support. You will have plenty of sad days, even if the day seemed half normal. I still do and it has been over a year since finding out and 7 months since I filed for divorce. Write something down good about yourself and stick it on your refrigerator. Read it everyday and add to it as much as you can. It wasn't your fault and you are a good and worthwhile person. I know how scared you must be about the work thing and I know I would be uncomfortable too. I am sure all kinds of scenes play through your mind when he heads off to work. I know I did the same thing and the mind can really come up with some good things. How do you think I got the name "mental"? Of course my H attorney says I am nuttier than a fruit cake. Good luck, tomorrow will be a new day.
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247 |
lol - sorry Mental you made me giggle!<P>PL - it's normal. You've been through so much and you're still having to go through so much.<P>It's ok to feel sad. And ok to cry and let it out. Don't expect yourself to just move on and not have any of this weigh on your mind.<P>Some of my best crying jags have been on the better days! Sometimes, I seem to have plenty of strength on the really bad ones, but on the ok days, you relax a little and all the "stuff" sneaks up on you! That's because it's GOT to come out sometimes.<P>So, you just remember, we're here for you, ok? On ALL the days. And just let it out. You'll feel better. and be better able to handle this ride.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{Nicole}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 840
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 840 |
Thanks guys...I don't really need permission to cry but sometimes think if I'm not a pillar of strength I'm just going to crumble from the weight of it all.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<BR>
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 186
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 186 |
PatientLove - NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!<BR>It has been less than a month since your H ended his affair. You are still very raw and can expect to be for some time. It has been about nine months since my h ended his affair with a coworker. It is especially difficult when your h still spends his work day with the ow, or at least at the same place. For the first several months I cried every day, didn't know what to believe or not believe. I also spent a good deal of time enraged at the ow. Now I have good days and bad days. As time goes on and h and I relearn to love each other I expect to have more and more good days. I think you will too.<BR> Simone<p>[This message has been edited by Simone (edited December 01, 1999).]
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,965
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,965 |
I'm amazed that you can even ask yourself this question.<P>EVERYTHING is wrong. <P>Because of the lies, you no longer know what is true and what is not.<P>You have been traumatized by the man you love.<P>Of course you feel disorientated. Your world has been shaken. The first weeks I was surprised I could use my voice and my legs could walk. <P>But it will get better and you will sort it out and the lies will stop and the healing will begin.<P>Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing great!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,347
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,347 |
Nicole,<P>I agree witheveryone else. I found myself in the middle of a HALT the past few days.<P>Are you:<P>Hungry<P>Angry <P>Lonely<P>Tired?<P>Sometimes I'm one or more of these and don't realise it. The remedy is easy, fix whichever I'm feeling.<P>Bill
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