Hope you're out there. Drop us a line on how your weekend went. Kinda disappointed you didn't send an email, but you were prob. busy having fun. <P>------------------<BR>Allen<BR>sparky_dog_mb@yahoo.com

Hey Sobeit!! Let us know how your weekend was!! We all want the details!<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Sparkydog: Good afternoon to you. You too Mitzi. I am still here. I have had a rough weekend. I took off Friday to be with my oldest daughter. She miscarried her second child and I was at the hospital with her. Please forgive me for not emailing you. I do not have a computer at home and my oldest daughter was ill so I was not able to use hers. I suffer from paranoia, so please bear with me. I have major trouble trusting folks. Did any of you catch 20/20 new show this past Friday? It had a segment on schizophrenia and what the voices would look like if you could see them. I can definitely relate. My voices are not as strong as those folks who are seriously affected. I can tune them out somewhat. I have been on medication for them, but took myself off because it just made my behavior worse. My voice of doom still speaks to me of my worthlessness, but I have been keeping real busy exercising, taking care of my grandkids and riding. When it gets bad, I talk back and tell it to shut up. The funny thing is that when it happens in public, the people in my area usually ignore me. Maybe they know that I am harmless. The worse time is when I am alone emotionally. I can't explain, but there could be people in the room and I would still feel alone. I hate those feelings, those voices telling me hurtful things. I do my best like today and pray and try to enjoy the nice day we have. For having a rough weekend, I am not feeling too bad today. I am working late tonight and planning to finish watching the "the Beach Boys" show when I get home. I did think about calling the OM to talk, but I asked God to help me not to make anymore mistakes. I have focus on my wellness. Enough about me. How are both of you doing? How was your weekend? Sparkydog, did you get a chance to enjoy this nice weather we're having? You know what I am in the mood for? Ribs. I did not get to eat TacoBell this weekend, but I did have Sonics and I rode my ride around the area. I also got to see all my grandkids Saturday. I will keep in touch. Thank you for being there everyone! My love and prayers to you.

I keep popping in to check on you and I'm glad you're still hanging tough!<P>I'm so proud of you, you know? You're doing good and getting through and that's a big, big thing.<P>Hang in there, Ok? <P>I am so sorry for your family on the loss of your grandchild. Please give everyone, including yourself, an extra hug for me. <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sobeit}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori

oops - double post<BR><p>[This message has been edited by lostva (edited February 28, 2000).]

Sobeit,<BR>First let me say, I'm sorry for the loss of your grandchild. Hugs to you.<P>Second, about the voices...is there any other medication you can be put on? Something that might work better? It's just a thought. <P>I am so proud of you for being as strong as you are. You are invincible! And don't forget that. You are fighting for yourself and in the process you are helping out so many people here. I for one applaud you!!!!!<P>You take care of yourself and check in with us as often as you can, ok?<P>Love and (((((HUGS)))))<BR>Mitzi

(((Sobeit)))<BR>Sorry to hear of your loss. <P>don't worry about emailing me, that is just there for you if you need it.<P>been enjoying the weather too, grilled some pork chops Sunday night, saw the kids everyday this weekend and its not even my weekend Spent a lot of time talking to W, probably more on Sunday then the past 3 months. Just can't shake that feeling of doom myself now. But I'll make it. If anything this ordeal has taught me to be more self reliant.<P>Continue to take care of yourself and love your H. He obviously loves you. And go get some Taco Bell, you deserve it. <P>------------------<BR>Allen<BR>sparky_dog_mb@yahoo.com