ES I sent you e-mail.<P>I just love roller coster rides. Dont yall?<P>I talked to W tonight about Financial problems. Hers and mine. The conversation turned to us cause I said I wanted to make sure they( W and kids) are took care of.<P>Any way she did ask about the DV papers, and No I have not signed them yet. I wont I dont want this.<P>last night shes upset and hurt looking tonight she is mad. cause she wants this to be over.<P>I wish yall could have heard the conver sation the other night. Tonights was 180 from the other.<P>I told her that I wanted to go to church with her this sunday, and she is worried how will she introduce me. She says that we are not a happy couple any more.<P>I want to ask her WHY DID YOU SAY ALL THT STUFF THE OTHER NIGHT AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO SIGN THE PAPERS!!!!!!<P>I know this would just cause an arguement , but DAMN what else can you do???????<P>JUST VENTING SORRY<P><BR>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P><p>[This message has been edited by brownphd (edited December 01, 1999).]

I just called her and she is putting the kids down for the night. I will probably LB BIG TIME, but I'm gonna ask her in a calm voice. Why did yousay all that stuff to me and then tonight want me to sign DV papers.<P>I have to do this she is not with me so what does it hurt. I have been Plan Aing for a while now. She says she sees changes and still wants A DV.<P>I know she is confused, but I want o know why she says the things she does.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Hi Brownphd -<P>Wait...you have me confused (not hard to do these days!!!) On your other post you mentioned the money talk and all was fine.....<P>Where does the D paper talk come in? Did you call her again?<P>Can you say:<P> "CAUTION!!! CONFUSED WOMAN AHEAD!!"<P>IF you remember to say that to yourself every time you speak with her....you might remember not to allow your emotions to go up and down with hers!!<P>Why did you mention Church...I thought you were just going to show up? Don't take what she said about it so hard...she's the one who told you when they're there!!! Probably just wasn't the best time to tell her being that she was in evil clone mode!!!<P>Yep, we all keep learning.......<P>When in evil clone mode - have less contact and don't push!!!<P>When in normal (well, sorta) mode...go for it!!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Brownphd -<P>You posted as I did......<P>NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!!!!!<P>DO not push this when she is like that!!<P>Just my opinion........<P>HUGS, <P>Sheba

Sheba -- Very well said about evil clone thing.<P>brownphd -- I replied to your E-Mail. I think my reply to your other thread fits here as well. Go read it. If you want to talk, let me know.<P>God Bless

SHeba you ar the greatest. When she calls back.( if she does I will tell her that it wasn't important. She will probably get mad, but I will bite my tongue.<P>She called in the middle of my post. Like I said she got mad. I told her that i didn't want to upset he ranymore so i would just keed to my self.<P>SON OF A B$%#$ I really really hate this.<P>She talked like everything was jus tfine telling me about our youngest son cutting a tooth. This cant be so DAMN easy for her can it?<BR><P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Brownphd -<P>Relax.....do you realize that everytime she goes back and forth with her thoughts - you lose it!! It's like the n"end" or something each time!! I get tired, confused and frustrated just watching you!!!! LOL!!<P>What she does is all too common for someone in an affair....it is part of this!!!! You have to understand that - Brown!!! <P>Go back and reread your last sentence of your second post on here.....<P>" I know she is confused, but I want to know why she says the things she says."<P>Hello?????? Do you realise what you said here.......<P>How can you know why she says the things she says if she doesn't? <P>You're getting as confused as she is and you don't have to be if you just understand and come to grips with her back and forths with her moods and thoughts......She is going to be like this for awhile!!!! <P>Just try to follow what I wrote about the two sides of her right now and try to follow when to give and when to hold back.....this should help.<P>I am glad that you decided not to talk about it now..... she remembers, don't you worry!!! It's just evil clone's time at the moment!!!<P>Just think of something to tell her or ask her.....maybe something about how you were trying to cook something and forgot how but then remembered...I don't know!!! Improvise!!!! LOL!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba <P>

SORRY Sheba, I dont want to confuse you, your advice is greatly appreciated. This just sux. I get more frustrated when she starts talking about DIVORCE. I had asked her earlier when I LB, at least i think i was, about when she was going to get her christmas tree. She told me to get it before I brought the kids home sunday, cause she is not in the spirit. well should I or not. I know she would want to be there ( I hope anyway)<P>Any way I know that her emotions make me panic. I try not to. I do just what my mom says( I hate it when she is right...lol) I want my marriage and I want it now. I know this is not good and it takes time. I cant handle this very well. I dont really get depressed that much kinda mad though.<P>THAKS SO MUCH<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Hi Brownphd -<P>I think that getting the X-Mas tree is a great idea for a family venture after church!!!!<P>I would suggest that you bring warm (?) clothes (depending on where you live!) and stop with them so they could change and then take YOUR family to get YOUR family's Christmas tree!!!!<P>If she protests - I would simply say that it is for the children and she would be making them happy!!!! It's the baby's first X-Mas right? Well, that's a special one and I am sure she would want it to be or she will feel bad later on......<P>What do you think?<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Thats what I will do. Thanks I didn't really know how to put it in words. That nmay be a huge deposit in her LOVE BANK.<P>Heres a question for ya? Can someone really not see that a person is giving all that they have to make someone happy. Is it so easy for one to just say ITS OVER. surely a person has to feel just a little bit. I sent her that poem "I HAVE THOUGHT" from the poems forum. She replied to my E-MAIL " remember that in your next relationships". Then the other night she said it made her cry. I KNOW SHE THINKS ABOUT US.<P>I dont know if you read my other post from the past few days or not( cant remember either), but she made a comment about weighing things out ex... It was bad before, what makes me think it wont be that way again? She tells me this stuff. I know she thinks about it. She has to. She has even told me she has felt the way I do now( OM has gotten her mind off me). <P>It also seem that things are better when he is on the road( truck driver)<P>One mor thing He is Jahova Witness, She is Catholic. These two really wont mix. Her family celebrates every holiday with a bang. Jahova Witness do not believe in Holidays.<P>SHEBA between you and ES , and everyone else here Were would I be right now? THANK ALOT<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Hi Brownphd -<P>Hey, no problem....we're here to help each other!!!!<P>Yes, I think that she sees and takes in everything.....it just depends on which personality (evil clone or normal) is speaking at any given moment!!!! That's why you can't follow her words and actions so closely.....cuz BAMM she'll change direction!!!<P>You stay too close and you'll just get hit with the tornado-like winds that occur as she is spinning!!!!!<P>That's why Plan A is so great....everything does sink in there - even if not acknowledged!!!! They are scared, don't forget....add an OP and self doubt, guilt and that can get pretty darn brain-numbing!!!!<P>So, if we stay consistant for the good, eventually she will see the "safety" of choosing you.......<P>Time and patience and recognize which "wife" is present!!!!<P>HUGs,<P>Sheba

I se what you are saying. I can sorta reconize which wif is present. I was with her almost all weekend. not over night or anything, but helped her move the kids room, and went and got a table for her. <P>While I was doinfg things for her things were great. OM got back in town and now they have gone down hill. I will just continue to pray, and hope she gets well soon.<P>Thanks Sheba<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

brownphd -- I have been kind of quiet tonight on this thread. I have not done this because I don't care. Rather, Sheba has managemed to say most of the things I had wanted to respond with, and she has said things a lot better than I could.<P>Listen to her. She is a very smart lady.<P>God Bless