Hi, I am wondering if there is anyone out there who has been putting up with this hell for 18 months or longer. I still feel very much in love with my husband and he is in an apartment on his own and has been for the last 6 months. We have spent so much money on counselling, apartment etc. Is there hope? He still says he loves me very much and we are still intimate together on occasions but am I fooling myself. Where do I go? I am a mess and my children are messed up through this so what do I do? I have done Plan A, Plan B and every other plan. He says he still doesn't know what he wants. He is very stressed and in pain too but he still doesn't make any decisions. He says he can't make a decision because it will mean hurting one person and he doesn't want to hurt anyone. Do I give ultimatums or timelines or do I just keep going? I know that no one has the answers but I just feel so alone in this.

It sounds as if he is having his cake and eating it to. He has his single life with OW but is still sleeping with you on occasion. It's been 18mos and he still is leading you both on. It is time to do a strict Plan B, IMHO.

How long have you been in Plan B?<P>If you were to have done it properly, then you would have no contact until he returned or you divorced.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Strict, Strict, No Doubt About It, Plan B. Absolutly. I have just read your one post, not familar with details, but if I am reading that one post right - Plan B. BIG BIG BIG PLan B.<BR>Victoria

Thanks guys! I know what I should be doing but it is very hard with the kids etc. I will do it properly this time. My only problem with Plan B is that I did it the last time he moved out and he came back because he missed us. I don't want him back because he misses us, I want him back because he wants to commit to our marriage. When he came back last time he was sorry for what he had done to me and the kids and said he would not be in touch with her again, they had a huge fight, he said he saw a side of her that he certainly did not like but, as soon as she calls - he jumps! Is that addiction or what?<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I don't want him back because he misses us, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Get him back for any reason you can. You have to be able to NOT commit ANY love busters when he is willing to return. This will allow him to see that you can be "trusted" & are "safe."<P>Try to get the kids thing worked out BEFORE you give him the Plan B letter. Also, you can't waffle while in Plan B otherwise he will not know what to expect from you.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>