i have to vent...vent...vent. I have to pretend that his crap doesn't bother me. I have to see him for what he is. <P>Our 7 year old felt better today....so the girls were dressed and ready to be picked up by their dad for visitation. He never showed. His normal day is Wednesday...but 7 year old was too sick so he asked if he could take them on Thursday. I told him that if she felt better...there would be no problem because we had no plans. So they waited....of course they are happy....made the girls day that their dad didn't show. Boy, I could have used a break after her being sick for 4 days. I need sleep....thought I could nap until they returned. So here I go again.....no sleep....feel like yuk myself and he is out partying. Mr. Mom has struck again

I'm sorry that you are going through this.<P>How old are your girls?<P>I know how hard it is to have to tell the kids don't know where daddy is....don't know when he will be home.(H is still living w/us.)You put on this happy face for your children and in side your falling apart.<P>It is hard but I know that what ever happens I will be stronger and a better person.<P>My prayers are w/you.<P>If you need to vent I will listen/read.<P>

I am really sorry. I know how tiring this can be. I have three (10-8-5 aboy in the middle). My husband always helped me out with homework, baths, all the after school activities. Seems that was a big LB to him. Suddenly he"doesn't want to be the kid's buddy or friend and I do".<P>My H moved out Feb 12th. I think my kids have pretty much been sick since then. All three had some sort of virus with very high fevers for about 5 days. Then one had stomach virus. Then son had strep UG! I am exhausted. Plus all three are having an incredibly rough time with this. THey all adored their dad and he seemed to adore them.<P>I used to be sitting down reading and having a cup of tea (I would also make one for H or he for me) by 9;30. Now I just end up on this forum till the wee hours. <P>When did you put all the visitation stuff down in writing. I am tryuing to hold off on anything written yet. I pretty much let him come when he wants. He has a weird schedule. He has mostly been doing one on ones. tomorrow night he will watch all three so I can go out. You know he used to love to watch all three when I would go away for the weekend. Who is this man who entered my husband's body?????<P>Seems like you were able to pull it off with the girls though. That is great. That's the unfair part. We have to just suck it up and pull it off don't we. I'll think of you when I am saying my prayers. Claudia

Nancy,<P>I'm sorry for you...<BR>Please get better quickly. <P>You too Claudia! <P>Jim<BR>

Claudia,<P>You asked who is this man that entered my husbands body? Well, the best way I can sum it up is that aliens abducted my husband and this is his replacement! I am now on this forum until the wee hours of the morning also! My husband moved in with his ow on Valentine's Day. I think I will hate Valentine's Day for as long as I live. Last year on Valentine's he told me he wished I would lose weight! Well, I now weigh 111 pounds and look at what he did to me this year! I give up, he is not worth the energy! <P>Nancy,<P>I am so sorry your husband didn't show up! That has to be hard! I was pretty much used to doing everything with my kids so it has actually been easier since my h left! It is one less person I have to try and please! I think I just realized he was the hardest one to please! My boys are just happy knowing that I love them. We are doing pretty darned good!<P>Hang in there and hopefully he will show up and give you the break that you deserve!!!<P>~Woozy

How is it that someone can just disregard thier responsibility to their children? I am always so taken back by these stories. I don't have kids. I would love to have them. I can't imagin turning my back on any child regardless of how I felt about my spouse.<P>Children don't get it you know. How can he even think of putting you in the position of explaining why Daddy did not show? How can he do this and not call you and explain why he is not there.<P>What happens to people during affairs? What makes them turn into these people who seem to have no regard for how thier actions effect those around them?<P>Sorry just makes me mad to think about it.<P>Acacia

The girls were very happy. Sometimes I would rather him just not come. He is so mean to them.<P>All states have visitation guidelines that have to be followed in a divorce. He just chose Wednesday as his visitation day. At first I tried hard for him to come any time.....and day. But he just wanted to stick to the rules. Everything he does concerning the children is done to the exact rules. But he is never on time and ALWAYS drops them off early.<P>Now he wants me to change "our" plans this weekend so he can come get them in the afternoon on Saturday or Sunday. I really don't have a problem doing it, but I asked the girls and they just want to keep the plans we have. I want him to see his girls whenever he wants...but he just seems to want to have it all....when he wants....and we better listen.<BR>Nancy

My heart goes out to you. I just can't imagin being so thoughtless (and mean) to a child. Maybe it is better if they see him less. What a difficult situation you are in. You can't control him. You can't make him nicer or more thoughtful and yet his actions have a profound effect on your children.<P>Maybe you should insist on doing the visits by the rules. It sounds like this is easier for your kids if they can at least get it down to a routine so they have some idea of what to expect and can prepare themselves for it.<P>Good Luck. I wish I could do more for you.<P>Acacia