How to explain this one ...<P>Well, last night after work I went to help a friend. After we were done with what we had to do - around 9:45 pm or so, she decided she wanted to go to the diner, and then decided that she wanted to invite a couple of guys she knows (friends I'd met once before). So she called. After they told her they were "in for the night" and didn't want to go out anywhere, she started listening intently, nodding, making comments like, "Really?" "She did?" "She IS?" and then winked at me.<P>When she got off the phone, she says, "Guess WHAT?"<P>Seems slug is no longer working at the place she was, but had been working at the only grocery store in town (YIKES! I have to shop there!). And she lasted a whole week before she quit and now has another job. This will be her 5th job in 15 months. Her fourth job in the last 12 months.<P>It seems, however, that the new job is one that she's also held in the past. At the donut shop which my husband's boss and her husband own. From which she had been fired once already (before the affair started). Which is another issue all together (they "never liked her, she's lazy, she's trash," etc., etc... Apparently that was ok for when they wanted to be MY friend, but now ... oh, I won't go there.<P>Anyhow, on the way to the diner, my friend decided she didn't want to go after all, and so we went to the grocery store so she could grab something to eat instead. Well, guess who was sitting out in front of the grocery store smoking a cigarette? Yup. In all of her "glory" it was slug. I have to admit to joking around that I would leave my screwdriver in the car so I wouldn't have a weapon with me ... but I didn't make cow noises very loudly once we got inside the store (very quietly, however).<P>We perused the produce and passed up the poultry ... then my friend told me that my husband was now also on the premises. Oh, joy! I'm glad she wasn't at the cash register when I was there - but she was, unfortunately, in sight. She and my husband. Walking together through the grocery store - her pushing a shopping cart, him with his hands in his pockets. She saw me, and I expected her to do something REALLY nasty like ooze all over him as they walked around the corner of the aisle, but, she didn't do it (surprisingly). We checked out and that was that.<P>Too much excitement for one day for me.<P>Some of my friends are surprised that I am not angry or upset. My take on this tiny little episode is this: 5 jobs in 15 months? How stable is that? And this is reality, honey - this is the way his life with her will ALWAYS be. She has a history of job-hopping - either getting fired or leaving because she doesn't like the work or the hours or something... And, seeing him with her - well, I have seen him with her before - with no warning. At least I was forwarned this time. I know he's having an affair. Seeing HER alone upsets me more than seeing them together - she is only vindictive when he isn't around...<P>Anyhow ... that's what's going on. What do you all think?<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

Terri,<P>Patience... (an you have been so incredible there!)<BR>You know you are better in so many ways! (all ways!)<BR>Stand tall!<BR>Chin up!<BR>You're growing stronger no matter the # of jobs the OW has/had/will have.<P>Think of your first...<P>Payers... <P>Jim

Hey T, 19 Months, QUEEN of Plan A !!!<P>I'm sure you posted this because why? I think you ARE upset and I have been waiting for over a year for you to get angry with your H. DO IT !!! It is okay to be pissed.<P>There are not many on the board now from way back and I didn't want to see you alone in this. <P>It hurts, it sucks and your H is insane. <P>I still care. You've been so patient, for so long T. If you still can do your Plan A, we're here to hear.<P>Hang time ........ ew

Thanks, NSR ... patience has been my strongest ally so far. There are times when it wears thin, but generally, I am okay.<P>InShock - geeze! Don't rush me! It's only been 16 going on 17 months since I found out about he affair, 15 months since he moved out... Yes, I have a little bit of anger toward my husband. He's being stupid and stubborn - allowing what she says and thinks to determine what he does. Example: he didn't say hello to me in the grocery store because he "was in an awkward situation." Say WHAT?! You have to pretend you don't know your wife because you are with your insecure bimbo-slug? Dumb.<P>I have actually said out loud that if it turns out that he really wants a long-term relationship with this brainless bimbo, then he is welcome to her, because he is no longer the man I fell in love with and married. THAT man had brains and good taste. However, he has yet to make a move toward divorce, and that HAS to come up in HER mind (at least) on occasion.<P>BTW, I guess with this job change (confirmed by his very own lips, I must add), she is no longer a "restruant manger" huh? <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

How about this T,<P>ALL of the OWs that come through my shop have expressed the desire for the MM to divorce. It is VERY important to them (like #1) and they want it it done yesterday. When the MMs don't get the divorce they suffer so <P>Really T, I hear it everyday. It's like the real-life TOW board. I don't even know how to describe the level of stupidity involved in this most distorted world of infidelity.<P>They try EVERYTHING they can think of to get these guys divorced. Not only that, but a divorce gets them nothing but a divorced infidel of their very own and they can't figure why he's not Mr. Happy.<P>Typical Conversation:<P>Me: So, you married, have a boyfriend?<BR>OW: I have a boyfriend but we can't get married until his divorce is final.<BR>Me: Oh my. Does he have kids?<BR>OW: Ya, but they will like me when we are married.<BR>Me: Do you think he'd cheat on you?<BR>OW: Oh no way. Our relationship is totally different, we're soulmates. His wife is blah, blah, blah, blah (lists all the awful things about wife)<BR>Me: Oh that's good, you're safe then.<BR>OW: His wife must know about me, she'd better get used to me. I mean, he's here every weekend having sex with me. Where does she think he is? <BR>Me: So, do you prefer to wash his socks with Tide or Lestoil?<BR>OW: huh?<P>I guess slug has not had a lot of time to be emailing you now that she's a perishable consoomables engneer.<BR>

Oh - you have me laughing out loud! Well, which job are you talking about? Now she is working as a fried pastree engner, or perhaps we can refer to it as a donut jerk.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>