Hi friends,<P>I just got a letter that I have to go to a preliminary conference with my lawyer and h and his lawyer on March 28. (so much for rushing that divorce). Well, can anyone tell me what this is? I am required to go but I believe I will be sitting there in the waiting room while my lawyer does all the talking. <P>Any info would be helpful, have to wait 3 days to hear from lawyer again.<P>Dana<BR>

Dana,<P>I think every state calls it something else... In NJ it's call the "Early Settlement Panel", in CT(Sheba's state) they call it a "Special Master's Court"... whatever.<P>Check with you attorney...<BR>but the jist of these are to offer a divorcing couple the idea of what the "trial judge" will come up with as a final solution! It has also been described to me as a mandate to "mediate" as opposed to go to trial... since divorce trials are <B>so very</B> expensive.<P>Sheba was disappointed in her's since they made it seem she would get substanitially less than what her attorney said she could get...<BR>Mine was postponed since my W didn't show up (and then she got penalized $250.00 and my lawyer's fees for the day... big $$$)<P>Depending on where you stand in terms of property settlement or custody issues or whatever... <B>mediation</B> is usually best. My W rules it out completely! <P>Do get good counsel. Look on the Internet for your state's specific programs!<P>Best of Luck...<P>Jim

Jim, <P>Thanks for replying. We pretty much agree on most except we are fighting over the PC. I am going to state that he never used it once while he was here, and the kids use it too and we bought it for the kids. So I hope I can keep it. <P>So on that date I might have some clue where this is going. Good thank God! Did you ever get my question to this. Do you know the name of the site for fathers rights. I have a friend that is in bad shape with his divorce, and he really is the better parent in this case, but in his state, its tough. He is looking for anything out there to educate him or help him out. Thanks Jim, Your the man!!! Dana<P>PS I appologize, HOW R U FEELING??

In Florida, I went to what is called mediation. My lawyer and I met a few days beforehand to decide what I basically wanted out of the divorce and I assume by ex also met with his lawyer prior to mediation day. At mediation ,my lawyer and I sat on one side of the table and my ex and his lawyer sat across from us. The mediaator was also an atty but also a CPA. He asked me questions and also my husband questions. Then my ex and his atty went to a separate room. The mediator then went between the rooms and negotiated the divorce settlement until we both came to agreement. It was then typed up and submitted a few days later to each atty and my ex and I received a copy and had to sign it if we agreed to the terms. My ex and I both had to pay mediator fees that were $250 each four the four hours it took--it was billed on an hourly basis. My atty fees included her portion of time,in the standard fee we agreed when she took my case. After the papers were agreed upon and signed by us, a final hearing date was set approximately 6 wks later and I went to the judges office and signed the final divorce decree--it took less than 10 minutes and it was over. Since I was the one who filed and my ex agreed to the terms, there was no reason for him to be present for the final signing. A copy was sent to his atty and he signed them and then a copy of that was sent to me. I hope this helps.

Dana, <BR>Make sure you state to Mike exactly what it is your looking for and listen to him and ask exactly what he thinks you could get. Don't go in there unprepared. This could be a final step for the divorce....sometimes it isn't but it could be. I'm praying for you! <P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!