I really didn't think I would be so upset..<BR>I guess I was just hoping I wouldn't be so upset.....It has taken so long to come about (2months)<BR>I had to help him move the couch out to his truck,<BR>that went fine,<P>It was when I got in to the car to go to work early so I wouldn't have to watch all this, I looked over at the truck and just burst out crying. <P>The day went okay but when I got off at 1 I didn't want to go home if he was still there!<P>So I met a good friend for lunch.<BR>Around 3 I went home and there sat my 19 yr. old just teary eyed and said he was trying to get out before I got home.<P>Then I did a stupid thing and looked in his closet and just lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>My D said lets go to the mall and then we had Supper and went to the LSU Gym meet.<BR>Something we use to all do together. It helped alot to take our minds off it.<P>Tomorrow H is coming here to pick up other D and take her to a Mardi Gras parade which is something we use to all do together also. <P>She wanted me to come (begged) but I know he just wanted the two of them to go.<P>So I sit here looking at my Big Lonely Bed, and he's probably having the time of his life with Toadie, (my name for her,others have named theirs so I thought I would too.)<P>I have asked a good friend to go with me to the parade tomorrow, it will be the only one I will have a chance to see this season, all the others are in New Orleans and I'm not going there alone.<BR>I just hope I don't see D at parade or she will throw a tantrum and want to stay with us, when he wants to spend time alone with her.<BR>I knew this day was coming but why does it hurt so bad, and why can't I believe it's really happening?<P>Thank God it's night time cuz from this window I can see that stupid empty Garden <P>Guess I just needed to vent (without anger.)<P> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] <P>So now I plan A everytime I see him right???<BR>------------------<BR>Peg<p>[This message has been edited by Peggy (edited March 04, 2000).]

edited by claudia103<p>[This message has been edited by Claudia103 (edited March 12, 2000).]

Peg,<P>If you've really done a good Plan A (during th 15 month's since D-day)... do you think it is time for Plan B? You know you can continue to Plan A even if he is gone... I am doing it... so are many others!<P>How much love do you have for your H?<BR>If it has really dwindled... it may be time!<P>Love your D's. I imagine the 16yo is really having a tough time with this... my 17yo son is!<P>Prayers for very difficult time... <P>Jim

Peggy,<P>Knowing this was coming does not mean it has to be easy for you. Don't expect that of yourself. Cut yourself a break.<P>Go to parades if that's what you really want. If you don't want to go, then don't.<P>Let yourself grieve, it's totally okay. Anybody who does not understand or respect this grief should not be around you right now. If your H wants to ACT like nothing happened he's fooling nobody. His loss is no less than yours.<P>You can Plan A tommorrow, take today for you.

I agree with Inshock. You have been through a lot. Do what you need to take care of yourself now.<P>Acacia

Went to the Parade with a very dear Friend,<BR>had a great time. Went out to lunch and only worried about D alittle. The people who know me call me a Helicopter because I hover over my D's too much.(but I'm getting better at not doing that as much.) <P>I left the house before he got here to pick up D. I didn't want to have him see me upset.<BR>She got back before me so I didn't see him then either.<BR>I would like to feel that he was concerned for me but I know he wasn't.<P>My same friend asked my D and me to come back for dinner so we did. These people are like surrogate parents/Grandparents to me and my D's.<P>NSR;<BR>I plan to plan A just like before but right now I'm not sure of my feelings toward him because I don't know what to expect from him.<BR>Is he going to call me? <BR>Is he going to drop by?<BR>Is it going to seem to me that he has dropped off the face of the Earth?<P>Claudia 103;<BR>He has been having an A with the same W for at least 6yrs.<BR>That's another Question I have. <BR>Since it's been going on so long does the chance of it dying since it is now out in the open become less likely?<P> Acacia & Inshock;<BR>Thanks I'm begining to see that I must think about me now and take care of myself also.<BR>I need to be here and be strong for my girls.<P><P>------------------<BR>Peg

Peg,<P>I know you are in pain right now. It has been 2 months since H left. THe first was miserable. Can I tell you, for the past few weeks, I have been having a great time. As soon as I stopped focusing on H and how happy I presumed him to be, I felt much better. I picture then fighting and I picture him and her in an awful relationship where there is no trust . Try it, it helps. Read Genie's post from this week too, its real good. It might help you also to put in perspective. I believe you may have time to let this affair switch course now, I didn't catch it, but is he on his own or with OW? Let me know.<BR>Prayers are with you. Dana<BR>

LM.<P>He has his own Apt.<BR>I asked him not to insult me or the girls<BR>by moving in with her.<P>It's so hard not to imagine him having fun with Toadie.<BR>My D tried paging him (he doesn't have a phone yet) today because she wanted him to take her to the park,<BR>This is one of my really low days and I can't even drag myself out of the house.<P>Well it's been 3hrs and of course he's not calling her back,(he has a cell phone.)<BR>So of course I assume he's with Toadie in New Orleans at one of the many Parades we use to go to. Maybe she'll accidently be pushed in front of one of the floats,LOL<P>Genies post was very encouraging, I pray we're not the 1%.<BR>Tomorrow is another day!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Peg