My husband has been gone for one day (since this morning). <P>The OM contacted me via e-mail tonight (a few minutes ago).<P>Isn't that just exactly the way that EVIL works??? It makes me FURIOUS. <P>Here's the story...<P>I was sitting here, all comfy-cozy in my little computer chair. My little dog was snoozing in my lap. I logged-in to my e-mail account. The screen read "1 Unread Message". So, I "clicked" to read my one unread message. The one unread message was of course from the OM. When I saw who the message was from, it was like LIGHTENING went through my body. I was SO SCARED (actually, "freaked-out" is a better way to put it )! I jumped out of my chair --my little dog is more coordinated than I had previously thought. I practically threw my mouse. I was standing here in the middle of the room staring at my computer screen. All I had to do was click on the message and read it...it was so tempting...I don't care about the OM...I never loved him...I was just so curious about why he was contacting me NOW...<P>It's as if all of the memories of the pain from this past year flashed through my mind in a matter of seconds -- turmoil, guilt, anger, sadness, confusion, despair -- they all re-visited me...and I hated it...<P>I thought of my husband and how he loves me. I thought about how I hurt and betrayed my beautiful husband (even though he doesn't know it yet).<P>So...<P>I picked up my mouse and deleted the message before I even read it. Then, I deleted it from the "deleted messages" folder. Then, I deleted it from the "trash bin" -- all without reading it. <P>It appears that the OM even went to the trouble to get a new e-mail address just so that he wouldn't be blocked from my account. I can't believe he would do that to me after an entire year is almost over...what a jerk. No, I don't know what he wanted...I will never know. But, in my eyes, I see his attempt to contact me as a threat to my marriage, my sanity and my very life.<P>I'm sitting here shaking. I have tears in my eyes. I don't know if I'm mad or scared or both. <P>I'm paranoid that, when he doesn't hear from me via e-mail, he will attempt to phone me. Well, I'm ready for that, too. If I hear his voice, I won't say anything. I will hang-up on him immediately. No, I don't have Caller ID, so I don't have the luxury of seeing "who's there". Yes, I've already blocked his new e-mail address from my new account.<P>Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you guys. I knew that you would understand.<P>Please keep me in your prayers this week -- evil apparently knows where I'm vulnerable.<P>God be with me and with you...<P>Thanks for listening.<P>Jill<P>P.S. [censored], where are you??? If you're there, would you please pray for me?<BR>

Jill -- Congratulations. You did exactly the right thing.<P>My thoughts and prayers will be on you as you begin to heal.<P>God Bless

Jill,<P>Goody! Goody! Goody!! You did exactly what you needed to do!!! You have come so far in so little time! I am so proud of you!!!<P>Try to calm down a little, and take some deep breaths. Yes, you are vulnerable and since you are aware of that, it will make it easier for you to do what's right. <P>I am praying for you now! <BR>Mitzi

Jill,<P>You did very well. You know ..., never mind. The timing of this is so strange. I suspect there is a message in this for you. It is good that you have made the decision you have made. Would you have responded differently had you still been in confusion about telling your H? Or decided not to tell?<P>One can only wonder. But you did the correct thing.<P>God Bless You<P>JL<P>PS. I think He has already blessed you don't you think?

Jill,<P>Congratulations! You have come so far and you are doing all the right things. It must have been so hard for you to see the e-mail and to resist your curiosity.<P>It was interesting to read your posting. It made me understand what it must be like to be on the other end of an affair that has ended. Neither side is easy is it. Both sides have thier own brand of pain.<P>I hope everything goes well with your H when he comes home. Keep us posted.<P>Acacai

Jill,<P>Wow...Evil sure does know how to rear its ugly head...<P>You did exactly the right thing...<BR>I wish there was some way you could hear your H voice...Find a flattering picture of him and look at it very intently...inagine him giving you a huge hug ...<P>I will pray for...count on it...<P>Do you have an answerind machine?<BR>You could use that to screen calls.<P>When exactly was your last contact with OM?<BR>Does he know how you feel?<P>Any how hang on..keep the positive thoughts going about your H...and get some of those knee burnin carpet prayers going...<P>Talk to us here.<P>You did right by your H by deleteing that message.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Jill,<P>I'd love to "take care" of this guy for you. What a jerk! Your right it is evil. I am praying for you right now. Have you had your phone number changed? If not get it changed. Also, why not a new ISP and/or email accounts. Also be sure to delete your email trash bin. God bless and protect you. T2<P>

Thanks for the support...boy, do I need it! <P>William J:<P>Yes, I have an answering machine. I will use it to screen calls. However, I do not want to give the OM a chance to say a phrase to me...I do not want to hear it...does that make sense?<P>You asked when my last contact with the OM was. It was end of March/early April of last year. Our weekend "rendezvous" took place at the end of March of last year. I made a few feeble attempts to end the affair after our weekend together. But, it was in early April that I got serious and had the NO CONTACT rule (even before I had read Harley's books). So, I haven't seen the OM since our physical encounter at the end of March last year (thank God he lives out of state). I haven't spoken to him via e-mail or via telephone since early April of last year. As I mentioned before, I ended the affair via an e-mail letter. The letter was professional, not emotional -- not a "thanks for the memories" type of thing at all. The letter was one of those "For the rest of my life, I will not ever, under any circumstances, contact you. Therefore, I do not EVER, for the rest of my life, want to hear from you. Do not contact me by telephone. Do not contact me by e-mail. Do not contact me by regular mail. Do not contact me by hiring a sky-writer. I will not respond. Any effort on your part to contact me will be fruitless. I will NEVER respond to you. I have a marriage to save, and I suggest that you go and do the same."<P>So, now do you see exactly how much NERVE he has to contact me after I wrote him a letter like that almost a year ago??? I guess my letter wasn't clear enough. <P>Anyway, one more time...THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. <P>Jill

Jill,<P>I think that satan is working overtime on you right now. It isn't coinciidence OM contacted you the very week your H leaves the country.<P>Hold fast in your resolve. I know you can. You are one of the stronger on this board.<P>I'm going to bed now and in my quiet time before I go to sleep I will say prayers for you.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hi Jill,<P>This is my 1st time to respond to you. I'm really proud of what you did. This is going to be a very long resonse, so I apologize in advance.<P>I don't understand the MM's mentality but his motive definitely was to re-start the affair with you. I'm glad that you did what you had to do. It is/was the right thing.<P>Let me share what happenned to my H and I after 9 months of No Contact from OW.<P>Last Feb of 1999, my H broke off his 7 week affair with MW. During that time, we had been working very hard at restoring our marriage.<P>Then....BOOM! 9 months later, out of the middle of nowhere...the OW gets his work e-mail address from her cousin and writes my H at his work.<P>My H, being an impulsive and stupid (yes...I have to say stupid because I'm still pissed off about it), responded back to her! He wrote her from our home because he doesn't like to write personal e-mails from work (just in case the e-mails are monitored).<P>Lucky me...I immediately found out (upon him putting a password on his account, where none was there before). I broke into his e-mail account because woman's intuition told me that something was up.<P>Lo & Behold....there it was! I found his response to her (which he forwarded stupid jokes) and found e-mails to him from her (wanting to know how he was doing and if he would come over). He didn't respond to that one because I got to that e-mail first.<P>Boy did I blow a fuse! I went ballistic and confronted him with it. I told him that if he wanted to be with her, he could, because I've had enough already!<P>He immediately realized the damage he had done again. He thought that just because he forwarded jokes to her, that it would be harmless. But, realized that her response to his jokes was, "Are you coming over?"<P>He wrote her a No Contact letter and I did too. Then he deleted his e-mail account. We haven't heard from her since, other than her e-mailing me and defending her idiotic and manipulative actions. I didn't respond to her. I did however, tell her, in my original e-mail letter to her, that if she were to contact us again, then we would view it as harrassment.<P>Now, my H & I had to go back to square one. It, in a way, reversed 9 months of recovery for me. That was 3 months ago but it is still fresh in my mind. I'm so pissed off that after 9 months of No Contact...my H was stupid enough to risk our marriage just to respond to her e-mail. It makes me ask myself a question, "Is this crap really worth it? She can be out of our lives for almost a year but at a drop of a hat, he will respond to her attempt at contact?"<P>It has slowed down our recovery. I was beginning to trust him again, but now I don't trust him anymore. I don't know how this trust is ever going to be restored. Everytime there is contact, we go back to square one and love units get withdrawn from my love bank. That's when I look at him with disgust and ask myself, "Is this really worth it?"<P>Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to tell you of my experience.<P>You did the right thing. Keep it up. When that OM contacts you, just delete it. Don't even read it. Change your e-mail address if you can. IF he calls, hang up on him. Then, change your phone number to an unlisted number.<P>You are headed for the right direction. As long as you keep on your toes, and do the right thing, your H will trust you even more. I'm proud of you!

Good for you!! I would have been too curious I think, but you were magnificent.<BR>Don't give the little creep any satisfation.

You GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!<P>I don't know if I could have done that! Curiosity is a weakness of mine! Stay firm, stay stron and you will stay sane. <BR> <BR>Just a month ago on SuperBowl Sunday my preacher spoke on the subject of evil.<P>His definition "to be possessed, to have loss of one's will, to have your life taken over, to be obsessed and obsessive, driven" In his message he also said those "possessed" care little for the thoughts, feelings or needs of those they previously cared for. <BR>Sounds to me that your personal demons have been exorcized in this maatter! Pray the evil doesn't totally take over the OM and that the temptations he could offer you will never come about.<P>(I'm Presbyterian and to have "evil" preached about in my church was a novelty so I was impressed! Nothing seems to discribe an affair better!)<P>Good Luck.

Jill<P>I'm here! I just prayed for you and I can identify what happened to you.<P>Yes, the timing of the enemy was perfect; perfectly aimed to destroy you and bring all that garbage back to you.<P>I agree with what you did in deleting it without reading it (if I know human nature, even those who are Christians); I'm sure momentarily you had a desire to read it..but you did the right thing.<P>Your friend and brother in Christ:<P>[censored]<P>Remember....when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him!

Jill,<P>You continue to amaze me. Deleting the email without reading it took strength and character and is yet another proof of the depth of your sincerity to rebuild your relationship with your H. I say it again - he is one lucky guy!

Jill, <P>If anyone ever doubts that the devil is very involved in activities on this earth, this should quash them. This was no coincidence, Satan knows that his work is about to be exposed to the light and so he waited for just the right time to incite this man to contact you. You have done exactly what you needed to do. Remember, Submit to God, Resist the Devil and he will flee from you. <P>With the help of God, you resisted this attack. There will be another one coming soon, so be ready. I just prayed for God to give you the grace to be ready. I am now giving you a standing ovation.<P>May the Lord Bless You and Keep You,<BR>John