Had a really busy week & didn't post or even lurk much, then went to a business trip and since my return the air is "rare"...right now the in-laws just arrived. The M in L says she's have it & wants to talk with W, so I guess the moment of truth is here, but I don't know how is she going to take it. I agree with the wife that the truth is always better, but... What is the truth??? since...<P>... 5 minutes ago the W told me that she's no longer with the OP... don't know the details, she's upset because the (former?) OP's daughter is here (%$"$·@#!!) & I didn't want to take her & my D to the movies- "just because she's the OP's D..." Need opinions... I'll check a little later.<P>Alex

ThisAlex,<P>I always have opinions , but I don't know what you need one on after reading this post.<P>Are you asking about telling MIL? If so, the answer is yes. <P>Are you asking do I believe W about OP? Don't have a clue and it sounds like you don't either.<P>Are you asking should you try and work on this if OP is out of picture? Yeah, I guess so. How is that for luke warm. Really, if the love is still there go for it.<P>Are you asking if you should have taken D and OP's D to movies? Well that depends. The OP's D did not have an affair with your W. But you really shouldn't be expected to babysit OP's D so W can do whatever she wants. I presume W told OP she would take care of her D. If so then W should take care of OP's D.<P>Any other questions I can guess at ? <P>Let us know what is going on. We'll do our best.<P>God Bless You and Your Family,<P>JL<P>

I agree that honesty is the best policy. My in-laws were here when I discovered the affair. It was a Sat nite and she told them the next day. They recommended counseling and to try and work it out.<P>I agree that you should not have to take op's kid any where. That is very insensitive of your w. Why is op's kid around, if she is not not seeing her. She needs to make a clean break from contact with op. <P>Keep Plan Aing.<P>God Bless<P>Bob<P>ps: Things are slow on the weekends so you may not get many other opinions till tommorrow.

Hi Alex,<P>The saga continues. No one should have to fulfill responsiblities another has taken on. That said, I suspect your wife wanted the kids out of the house while the MIL discussion went on. <P>There is no advice here, I think you just have to ride it out a while longer. You might gently suggest to your wife that taking care of the OP's daughter is not the best idea at the moment, not good for either child.<P>Take care.

Hi, JL, Bob, hanora,<P>I guess it was a storm in a glass of water- the M-in-L was here but never attempted to talk about it, she was just tired & unhappy about this bunch of teenagers keeping everybody awake at the condo-hotel where they have their property; now she's talking about leaving 3 weeks earlier because of that.<P>I was ready to talk & so was the W, the timing was not right because of the kids.<P>Don't know about the OP- I believe that the W wanted to get rid of her BEFORE meeting with the ex-lover sometime soon (this, again, is just a guess). I went to pick up my car that I had lent a friend while I was away; W left a note saying she's off to a nearby mall- don't know if with both kids, don't know if the (former?) OP is w/ them, so I won't follow.<P>In other issue- my trip was to Mexico City, where I was mugged & taken with about $500 in cash, a watch, a necklace & a credit card (had left the others in the hotel); my friend is 6 1" and has an impressive figure but was also taken for more money & more expensive jewelry than mine; they also took our cell phones but we feel lucky since there was no physical harm. Many had told me to be careful when traveling to Mexico City & now I agree- 5 good-looking girls 18-25 in a well-lit street with well-dressed people going in and out of nice restaurants & bars at 11 PM on a Friday night… and nobody saw anything- it was so fast!!<P>Probably because of the last I am also a little nervous & can't think straight. As for the wife... I am sad to tell that I don't want her back, not now, probably never.<P>Thanx for the time you took to answer my desperate post, I guess there was no need to posting in the first place.<P>Your friend.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>