Hi, My situation goes something like this. I am not from the US but I came here with my husband when he was offered a job. Well, his job entitles him to travel sometimes. In 1998, he went back to my home (he is not from the US either) and when he returned, he told me that he didn't want the relationship anymore....Well, I didn't take that too good as expected. Anyhow, we decided to work on the relationship but only fell back into the same routine. <BR>Anyway, last year, 1999, he went to his home, after being away from there for almost 10 years. Before he left, he was away for 2 weeks, he told me not to be sad, that he loved me and would really miss me. <BR>On the day he returned, when I saw his face I instantly knew that something was up. About 2 days later he told me that he didn't have the will to go on with the relationship etc. etc. <P>I was devastated because, I am still waiting on my green card and I can't go home because I would have wasted the 5 years that I have been here with him supporting him and his career. I gave up my life to be with him here in the US. We had just married when he came here so it was expected that I would leave my job and come with him. The terms of my being in the US mean that I cannot work until I get my green card. Now I don't know what to do. If I leave, because of the laws, I will be banned from the US for 10 years. So I now have to stick it out and be here until I get my Green card which is about two years away. <P>I now feel like the hired help in my own home. He hardly speaks to me and I feel so alone. I have no family here and no one to turn to. All our friends are his friends and I don't really feel comfortable talking to them. <P>He is a very stubborn man and when his mind is made up there is nothing to change it. I have tried talking to him but I feel as though I am speaking to a wall. Sometimes I look at him and feel so much hatred and other times I look at him and long for the man I feel in love with 7 years ago. <P>Oh, I forgot to mention that the two times he went overseas, he met up with an old girlfriend. He said nothing happened between them but I have my doubts. I never felt that he was over her and he always said that they were just friends. Anyhow, after he said that he didn't want the relationship anymore, I accessed his e-mail and found a letter to his so called friend where he tells her that there is still a chance for them, that it is up to her. That he will be there for her when she has done her spiritual journey. <P>I wonder who was there for him during the surgeries that he had?? I wonder who was there for him to wash his filthy unddies and cook his food and clean his house and give him loving when he wanted it?? So much for my needs. <P>He has me so angry that sometimes I wish he would die.....I know that this sounds irrational but that is how I feel. <P>Anyhow, thanks for hearing me out. I feel so much better being able to get this off my chest. I have started doing some soul searching of my own and feel that maybe this might be for the best. I have grieved and I do still get those longing feelings and those angry feelings.....but I will survive. I will stick it out for the time being because in the end there is one thing he can't take from me and that is my relationship that I am forming with GOD....God bless those who take the time to read this. <P>Soul searcher. <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Soul Searcher
