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#366588 03/06/00 10:41 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 19
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Posts: 19
I tried plan B but I just was not strong enough. I came back the next day when I thought my H would be at work, he stayed home so we could talk. We talked but didn't get anywhere. He still won't give her up. He said he can't hurt her like that. But he can hurt me and the kids. I told him everytime he walks out that door to see her it kills me a little each time. We left for the weekend(family) and went camping at the coast and when we returned he played on the computer and then left at 8pm to see her got home at 11pm. I feel terrible. I don't know what to do anymore,should I leave should I stay? I can't make up my mind. I asked my H to make a decsion either way, I said that I love him enough if he dicided he wanted her that I would back away, but he won't decide! He says he wants both...<P>------------------<BR>

#366589 03/06/00 02:46 PM
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Sharlene, If he wants both of you and you allow it, he'll stay on the fence a long time. It is completely up to you if you want to try to Plan A through his flagrant infidelity or Plan B. Your lovebank will drain each time he leaves the house, and probably again when he comes home...or doesn't. None of us can do this forever. I wish I had been able to do Plan B...an empty lovebank now that my spouse says he wants to make it work is very difficult. But it took nearly 2 years to get to this point and went on one separation too many. Your H may be gone once too many and you'll be done.<P>Take care of yourself and your kids needs first. Your H has no right to ask this of you, but you can follow through with whatever you decide. You have to.<P>God bless.

#366590 03/06/00 02:54 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
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You can keep coming back and talking until you are blue in the face, but he won't be listening until you have shown him that you mean business and of course with you continually trying to talk or threaten him with you are leaving doesn't mean anything to him because he knows you will come back and allow him to treat you this way. He has taken you for granted and taken your love for him for granted that is why he cares more for hurting the OW more than he cares for hurting you. And what is going on with this OW, does she know about you? Does she think he is going to leave you? What is in this woman's head?

#366591 03/06/00 03:08 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
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Hi Sharlene,<P>How about calling Dr. H on his radio show. It's free.

#366592 03/06/00 05:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
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No trust<BR>How would I go about calling the show? I live on the west coast in Washington state.<BR>Also the other woman would like my H all to herself but she says she is happy with this arrangement! Of course she gets what she wants without any other ties.


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