I have been under this stress in my marriage for a while. Didn't know why he wa so mean. but over the months it has taken a toll on my body. I can't gain weight. I am 5 6 and 98 lbs at the best of times.. not normal for me.<BR>all my blood samples aare nromal..they tried to give me antidepressants..thinking I was just too anxious after learning of the affairs..but they really made me sick and lose more weight! Now the men doctors think well a woman couln't just be eatten up with her failed marriage! She must have cancer..had most of the tests and now they want to do bone scans...metastisis..I just don't believe it. I think I am unresolved and since I am still living with my husband ..inseperate rooms...I am confused and lost and can't gain weight..has this happened to any of you? <P>I am a strong person. I take pilates daily..I have lots of definition..alas but no fat..none...lots of skin! I ate 80 grams of fat and gained a lb and then lost it over night...am I just crazy? I feel crazy...

In my case, and in things I've read, it is normal to lose weight in times such as these! I have lost about 35 lbs, since this thing began. I have been unable to put anything back on. My doctor also wanted to start looking for a medical reason for the sudden weight loss. Until, I told her point blank, about the state of my marriage and my mind! Then she put me on those supplemental shakes (Ensure) but I actually lost a couple of more lbs! Because I was substituting those for real food.<BR>My own take on this, is that until I've found some peace in all this, until I can see a resolution, I'll not be able to regain any weight. So for now, I've tried not to focus on my weight, and just look for resolution. I find that when I'm worked up, I just cannot eat. So when I'm feeling ok I eat. And when I'm not, I avoid food. I pray that the ok feelings outweight the bad feelings, so that I eat enough. The doctor has me on vitiman & mineral supplements to get me through this. <BR>I'm 5'4" and about 100lbs. I'm now smaller than either of my kids!<BR>I pray that you will find peace.<BR>((((((HUGS)))))))

Love, this is very normal, I also lost 24 lbs in a few months, I couldn't even eat a peice of toast. I was put on anti-depressants and ensure drinks. The doctor wasn't trying to put weight on me, but keep me from losing anymore weight. I was going to a counselor alone, trying to get myself together.....she felt that I was actually anorexic, not because I thought I was overweight but because I was punishing myself. This was very true, I felt that the reason my H had an affair was ALL my fault. We have very little control right now, and unfortunately weight is one of them that we do. But our minds tell us otherwise. My daughter asked me at one time if I could die from loosing so much weight......very sad. Don't go for the big meals, eat lots and lots of smaller meals. I found that breakfast foods were the easiest to keep down, find that food that is easy to digest and stick with it. Still drink the shakes they will at least get some nutrients in you. Good luck, I've been there, but happy to say my weight is back and yours will be too.

love? -- For me, I lost almost 80 pounds when my W walked out on me. Yes, I kind of liked being thinner again, but it sure played hell with me for a while. Now that my W and I are back together again, and trying to work on our marriage, I have regained most of the weight I lost. I really don't think extreme stress is a good alternative to diet and excercise. I guess I need to try the right way to lose weight next.<P>God Bless

My SIL just left her H, and the rumours were rampant in the family that she was on speed! (he'd been screwing around for years).<BR>I'm pregnant now, and the dr is giving me hell for not gaining enough weight, even giving me extra ultrasounds and telling me the baby is too small (oh, i am plenty heavy, i KNOW the kid is fine).<BR>Don't worry, it's "normal" to have this happen...but you sound awful thin to me, so i'd see why your dr is concerned.

Love, weight loss is normal, I am 5'8" was 131 lbs went to 114 in about 4 weeks, its been several months now, and I am up to 116. Biggest problem is I just forget to eat. So I try to munch and the others are right do small meals frequently, I latched on to a box of cookies I like and munch on them whenever I can. Keep your chin up and don't worry about it. I know everytime someone mentions to me that I am too skinny, I think I started to lose weight again. So now I just don't let it get to me, I eat when I want and what I want and I have started to gain it back.<P>God Bless You and Good Healing!<P>Lila

As with the others, the famous infidelity diet does work. I did not need to lose weight, but ended up about 20 lbs lighter. I Looked very ill, down to size 1 and am your ht. Not good at all. I was so upset that I would forget to eat, drink coffee only. The stress raises your metabolism, making wt gain even harder. Then I exercised to relieve the stress, making the cycle even worse.<BR>I drink protein powder. I buy the highest calorie concentration I can find and add two raw eggs. Do this three timews a day, in addition to whatever meals you can get down. May not be able to eat many meals now, but the powder will help you stave off any additional loss. For work hrs I buy the generic store brands of ensure high cal drink. It is 360 cals per can, and I down 2 a day at work. It is abt $1.00 can.<BR>I have gained all the wt back now, but took awhile. Back into size 5 and feel better too! <BR>Force yourself to drink the protein powder and try to take care of yourself.

I just had to start buying new clothes, nothing fits. I have lost about 30 pounds. Eight pounds in just the past two weeks. I try to eat one good meal a day, but sometimes I just can't swallow. I'm living on cigarettes and drinking too much wine. The up side is that I am now wearing things I love, but what a way to get there.

love?,<BR>I'm so glad you posted this topic! I've lost tons of weight, too. I don't know how much because I don't keep a scale in the house. All I know is that I look like a skeleton with skin. I look in the mirror and think "I'm wasting away." At this rate, one of these days I'm going to just disappear! I don't mind the skinny thighs, but my face is sunken in. I try to do things to look nicer, but it doesn't seem to help. I just had a baby a few months ago, too. Sheesh!<P>I've never been self-concious about my weight, but now I think about it all the time. I saw a documentary on tv a couple of weeks ago about research on eating disorders. They said that when normal people lose more than a certain percentage of their overall body weight they begin to obsess about food. They think about food all the time. I don't know about other people, but I've started doing that!<P>lila140, I'm with you! I forget to eat, or just don't have the energy to make something. <BR>I'm starting to feel like some kind of food junkie. I asked my H to bring me cash yesterday when he dropped off my daughter because I don't have any in my acct. I promptly ran down the street and spent it all on food! I'm thinking about asking for more today.<P>Why is it, now that my marriage is falling apart, EVERYTHING else seems to be falling apart too? I thought I was a happy, self-confident, capable woman in a bad marriage. NOW I'm an anxious, obsessive, too-skinny, desperate, lonely woman who can't seem to keep a clean dish or clean pair of underwear in the house. I take medication sometimes for the panic attacks and I'm starving. What happened?<P>Lizbeth

I was 7 1/2 months pregnant when my H confessed his month long 'thing'and by the time I went in to have the baby I had lost the pregnancy weight I had gained plus 24 lbs. Luckily the baby was fine (although smaller than my other babies were at birth).Baby's 8 months old now and things are going pretty well in my marriage and I've gained 4 lbs back (I wasn't really missing it anyway )

love?,<BR>Add me to the club, I am 5 ft., 110 lbs., lost 12 lbs. (not good) everyone noticed. I have gained it all back. I've been in recovery 18 mo. now. I still don't eat right, but, I have slowed down all my activities to spend more time at home and I sit here on the computer alot. So I guess what I do eat is turning into fat again. Give yourself some time. Worring about this weight loss also adds to the weight loss. Stress! There is that word again------- TIME.<BR>PS, exercise helps you get hungry, but don't overdo. Also counselling is a good exercise!<P>------------------<BR>"TIME" :)<P><BR>

Ok, I'll add my 2 cents worth here....<BR>When my H & I separated the first time in April.... I lost 24 lbs in about 2 weeks. I couldn't eat, and when I did.... it didn't stay with me. I lost a total of 32 lbs in a 4 week period. We have just separated again (I moved into my own place this time & filed for legal separation), and my grand total is up to about 45 last time I weighed (about a 1 1/2 weeks ago). My doctor is concerned.... not that I am losing the weight, but how, why and how quickly. I have to go back to see him again, because all of this crap has given me a bleeding ulcer -- and the weight loss has continued. I am taking vitiman supliments, and trying to eat very healthy when I do eat. <P>I'm 5' 6", and I'm not going to tell you how much I still weigh.... let's just say I can still afford to lose a *few* more lbs.... but not this way!! Althought, I do plan on keeping off all the weight I lose on this "separation diet".<P>Good luck to all......<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Me too - its been 15 days and I've lost 10 pounds; Simply can't eat and then eat what ever sounds even reasonalby palatable. Mostly coffee, fruit and bread. Problem is I used to exercise regualarity and now I'm having problems doing that - lack of strength and stamina. Its scarry, I've never had this happen before. I'm also a recrational wine drinker, but have stopped that - don't need that kind of a problem on top of everthing else. I've NEVEr had problem eating of keeping food down - now I can't stand the site of it. <BR>

It is normal to lose weight when you are stressed out. I lost 22lbs in 9 months. I'm little to begin with.<P>Of course everyone notices my weight lose. Yesterday we were at a party and someone said to my husband that he is getting fat. He said, oh I must be satisfied. The friend turned around and said, then how come your wife is losing weight? What is going on here?<P>I must say that I look good in tight shorts. And my husband has been more affectionate towards me. So maybe he'll stay home more and stop looking at other girls.<P>

I lost 35 lbs in 5 weeks. About 4 weeks before I found out about the affair & 1 week after. I have only gained back 3 lbs last I checked. I wasn’t fat, but I did need to lose a few lbs. Went from a 36” waist to 32”.<P>All the stress will really reek havoc on your system. I haven’t slept well in 8 months. I’m eating okay now (if you call Taco Bell & McD’s okay ).<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

This is an extremely stressful thing we are putting ourselves through. I am 6'1" and weighed 205... Now I'm at 185... I wasn't fat before, What I lost was all muscle mass... So not all the weight loss is healthy... It is normal, if you call what we are going through normal.<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>