I posted my first thread in the emotional needs area, but wanted to come here too and say hello to you all. I have been lurking for weeks and reading everything I could about Marriage Builders.<P>I mainly wanted to thank you all for your stories. While they break my heart, they have helped me at a time in my life when I have felt so alone. It's hard for me to talk to people I am close to about my marriage as my H and I put on a darn good show. The few that do know the details have helped me, but I hate to cry on their shoulders too much.<P>In a nutshell, we have been married for 19 years, 3 teenagers all living at home and from what I have read my H is probably having a MLC. He has not left the house (yet) but has threatened to do so. He is utterly self-absorbed and yes, has said the "I love you but am not in love with you" thing.<P>I don't think he's having an EA, but I do think there is a woman at work he is interested in. He says he does talk about our problems to her, but she is my biggest ally and is really pulling for us. I think he is intersted, but she is not.<P>Well all, any replies would be welcome. I feel like I know so many of you already it would be a real treat to hear from any of you. The kindness you show to others in here overwhelms me.<BR>

Welcome <B>az allison</B>...<P>You may have seen it already... but...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P>For some clarity... a while ago... the "main" forum was divided into 4 separate "sub" forums...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Just+found+out...&number=29&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Just found out...</A>...for those new the forum... pre/post "discovery" of an affair or possible affair.<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Plan+A/Plan+B&number=30&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Plan A/Plan B</A>...usually after "discovery of the affair"...for those with questions of "what to do now?"<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=In+recovery&number=31&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>In recovery</A>...when a commitment to work on marriage by both spouses has begun.<BR>We are being asked to post the forums that make the most sense with respect to our questions/vents and not just dump everything into the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=General+Questions&number=28&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>General Questions</A> forum because it will give you the most responses! <P>Have you started <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>?<P>Any counseling started or considered?<P>Prayers... <P>Jim

NSR<P>Thanks for the welcome. I read your post am grateful for the advice. H and I did go for 3 sessions to a marriage counselor, but he was a bit too "new-age" for us. He strongly advised my husband indulge in his MLC adventure, going into great details on how wonderful his was...he went to Europe for months without his wife to find pearls in the ocean!<P>We left in there laughing, and for once agreed on something, he was not the right one for us.<P>Thank you again NSR for your quick reply, made this all a lot less nerve wracking.<BR>

Welcome Allison--its nice to have you join us . There are a lot of wise people here who can help you or listen to your problem. We've all been or are currently in your shoes.