well he did it again after I said no more he hurt me again, no two days before his visit he informs me he no longer wants to even be friends, he is going to come and spend one hour with his kids who he has not seen in three months and then go hang with his brother, hmmm priorities. I think he is reaching his goal of killing my love for him, he told me it is not fair that I wont let him be alone with the kids, I told him it was all his doing when he told me a few weeks ago he would take them. he continued the its not fair thing until I told him I didn't want to hear it THIS was HIS choice. he then dropped it. I am having more of a positive feeling he has someone else, yesterday he told me it was none of my business to ask where he was, and it didn't matter since HE didn't feel like he was my H any more. so I took it at he was with someone and didn't want to tell on his self and let me and his family know he lied. there were alot of hurtful things he said the whole course of the conversation, like he doesn't find me attractive in any way any more not even for easy sex, (I must say that hurt the most)and that he hasn't for a long time. oh well I guess like a good friend from here said, it was a good lesson learned hard. <BR>My job starts after he leaves and I will get my own place soon, oh get this when he found this out he told me not to be afraid to ask for any thing if I needed it.. HELLOO he for one knew I need every thing...he has all the household stuff except the kids beds and toys and an old water bed I had before we were married, and about 4 plates and cups I think. oh and I TV and VCR I bought after I got here. I now see in trying to make things easy on him it has made them nothing but hard on me. some day I will learn. <P>Lesa<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Lesa,<P>I did the same thing! Made it easy on him when he left and now he's making it harder on me! Who would have thought???<P>Hey, BTW I'm signing the papers tomorrow at 2pm. Kinda looking forward to it! I want to get this over with!<P>(((((HUGS))))) to you!<BR>Mitzi

Lesa,<P>I can't say anything to take the pain away. Sure wish I could though. I can say this though...I just know <B>"You're going to make it girl!"</B><P>Yes, you are learning some hard lessons. You are growing from them and it may only be small baby steps but you are taking them. You are learning to control what you can and giving the rest to God. <P>I have a good feeling about you today girl. You are going not only to be fine but, look back on this all one day and know that you are not only better because of it all but, better in spite of it all.<P>Keep taking the steps of working on you. Take care of yourself now and know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. <P>Much love,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B>

Lesa,<P>I am so sorry! I was really hoping he would have positive things to say! It hurts so much! But, I do think you sound very strong and I know you will survive! Just know that we are here for you! (((((Lesa)))))))<P>By the way, thanks for that e-mail you just sent me! LOL!<P>Woozy

<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Lesa }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Lesa }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Lesa }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Lesa }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Hang in there girl. Your gonna make it cause your Lesa.... <P> <P>

Thank you my friends, I didnt sleep much lastnight...LOL those of you on TC know that,but it seems the nerves are turning to fear the closer it gets to 4:30 tomorrow night I called him today to tell him his son has a family thing at shcool thursday night and ask him if he would go he said "I guess I could" then I ask if he would take us(since I dont have a car)he said "well I dont see why not" then I ask him if he wanted to go into town and have pizza with the kids wed. when he got here...he said "no I'll have something on the way there" I mean crap it wasnt the food I was thinking about it was the time he could have with the kids with out felling the anger of my father he would have here at the house,the man wont even go have pizza with them..now I truly know this is not the man I love ,married,and the man who fatherd my children, I would sure the he!! like to know where he went his family misses him.<P>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net <BR><p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited March 14, 2000).]

well in less than 24 hours we will see if the fur is going to fly or if we will get along(its totaly up to him) wish me luck guys.<P>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Lesa,<P>Prayers and hugs to you.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LESA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I wish I could offer more.<P>Love to you.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole