Well, she will be back for two weeks on Friday. I feel we are right back where we started not talking about how we are feeling and ignoring our problems. I know she has seen OM one time at work since she has been back and i think more than that. She said she wanted two weeks to make sure she wanted to really try and after that she would let me know about counseling. I called today about counseling we can't get in until April that will be a month time and i want to get started now so on Friday or Saturday, I am going to approach her again about using Steve at least til we get into the counselor here.<BR>It is killing me not touching her, holding her any affection. Last night i said good night to her and leaned over to kiss her on the head and it was like she didn't even want me to do that. She hasn't shown any interest in me at all, i know she is going through withdrawal but she hasn't kissed me in 4 monthes, yeah we are in the same bed but it is like a forcefield between us and if i try to just hold her i know she is going to say are you pushing me. Cause that is what she said when i asked her to fill out the emotional questionaire?<P>I am just so frustrated, i know it is a long road but one little sign of affection would be so greatly appreciated. I know i should be happy that she is back and we are sleeping in the same bed. But I am just afraid that we are falling right back into what got us where we are today.<P>Derek

This is entirely my own opinion, but perhaps you shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed. I too am in withdrawl and sex(or affection) is not something i am ready to give. S or A makes me feel confused. I am confused enough already. My H does make an effort to touch me occassionally non-sexually such as a comforting touch to the back ect. At times that is too much for me.<P>Yesterday, i felt that my H and I were going no where and today, by accident, actually had a conversation. it lead into many area's that involved the ema. I feel so much better. If you cannot talk about it then you are right back where you started. The NO CONTACT rule has to apply to her for her to be able to move on with you. As long as OM is in the picture, you essentially cannot be in the picture. Keep your head up and keep trying the non-sexual touches, she should come around. I did somewhat today. God Bless.

Thanks Mercy, I will keep it up and will continue the non sexual touches but the no contact is on her i can't control what she or he does. I have told her that we will not be able to work on us if she continues to see him because she will never get past withdrawal. How long have you been in withdrawal and how did your husband get you to look at this site?<BR>Derek