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#368595 03/14/00 12:06 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 14
E
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 14
I need help in trying to focus on getting help for my marriage instead of trying to get a hold of the OW. I obsess on trying to find a way to find this woman (if you can call her a woman) Women are so manipulative! What can I do to make this woman go away? I have called her on the phone, but it doesn't help. My husband feels guilty for breaking up her marriage and her children and is still concerned for the OW. Well what about us? Everybody is telling him he can't save both of us, but he does have the opportunity to fix/save one. How can that even be a question? Im just so pissed right now.

#368596 03/14/00 04:35 AM
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 161
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Posts: 161
Hi Ems Wife, <P>I understand where you are coming from here. It's so hard to understand why h just doesn't come home to me today to start repairing the damage. It's hard when they want to come back but can't make the move. I wish I had answers on this one myself and I am pissed as well, but can't show it when he is around.<P>Good Luck!

#368597 03/14/00 06:59 AM
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Posts: 7,298
Quick comment, sorry no more time to reply than this....<P>If you're obsessed about the OW, doesn't that also keep your H's focus on her too? <P>If you haven't yet, read all of Dr. Harley's material found here. Sounds like Plan A is the way to go.<P>Vent here. And work on your marriage with H. I know it's hard! But concentrate on your relationship; don't give her any ammunition, or reasons for your H to feel defensive FOR her.<P>Warm wishes.

#368598 03/14/00 11:00 AM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036
Maybe you are concentrating on getting a hold on OW because you feel everything is so out of control in your life. And by getting a hold of OW, that is something that you feel control over. In the long run, it won't matter what you say to OW, it isn't going to change what has happened. It may give you a good feeling afterwards, but do you think she is really going to listen, or feel bad. If it was that easy, she wouldn't have started seeing your H in the first place. Stop giving this woman power in your life, you have already given her too much of your time as it is. I am STILL learning to work on my future, I can't do anything about the past, SUCKS yes, but it IS the truth.


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