This weekend I did alot of thinking.<P>And I am struggling with fear. I'm not 100% comitted to this marriage because I fear that life will come around and smack me again, and I don't know if I'd survive a second go around with my H's infidelity. It really shattered my self-esteem (although that won't surprise any of you). Or worse, what if I discover that what I'm fighting so hard for isn't what I want anymore?<P>I'm not 100% convinced that leaving (even in a Plan B arrangement) is the choice because what if I find this is what he wants/and I don't, or what I want/he doesn't.<P>So this is why I'm stuck here, in this limbo state. I'm afraid. I know that what will be will be, and my fear and inability to make a decision will not forestall the inevediable (Spelled wrong) but yet I'm stuck.<P>Is there a questionaire to help you decide which of each perchieved evil to chose? I think worse case scenerio for each path, and find that I cannot chose.....<P>I want to be 100% committed to rebuilding this marriage. But fear holds me back. Any suggestions on how you all deal with the fear may help me!<P>Thanks!

2 Timothy 1:7<BR>

oncehappy, you must make a personal decision. you are the only one that can do it. it's personal. there is no right and/or wrong. you probably already know what the right answer is but are hoping you are the exception. you probably don't like the right answer or maybe you're affraid to act on the right answer. in any event it's still a close call. so, when in doubt as to which is better, do the right thing. keep doing the right thing until you can't stand it any longer and then you will know what the new right thing is. then you'll do it. good luck!!

oh boy, i know this fear. i feel this fear.<BR>the advice so far is right, you probably DO know the answer in your heart.<BR>but i'll be honest. i think my H and i would have just lived in limbo forever if OW had not got fed up with him and demanded the truth and eventually dumped him.<BR>so even if you don't make a concious decision, rest assured SOME decision will be mad. <BR>How much input would you like to have in it?<BR>then that is what you need to do.

Thanks! I'm always amazed that the responses I get here, reaffirm what I know already. It is a choice, a personnal choice. One that even if I'm not ready to make, I must. I just keep hanging in there, hoping for divine intervention.<P>Any suggestions, for dealing with the fear?

Cuckold:<P>I had to go get the bible....2 TIMOTHY 1:7<P>"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline"<P>I think this means fear is okay....as long as you face the fear with courage?<P>What is your "take" on this passage? Help me understand your response to this thread, please!<BR>

ask yourself, what's the worst possible outcome if i decide to do this. decide if you can handle it. remember, it's not likely to be as bad as it can be. remember too, there is bound to be some goods aspects of your decision you can't forsee. think of all the 1000s that have gone before you with the same decision. they are all doing ok. you are not plowing new ground. hope this helps.